From Loser to Winner

“If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.”
-- Charles Schulz

***

The Story of Sparky:

For Sparky, school was arduous. He was not gifted academically, athletically, or socially. The 8th grade was especially difficult for Sparky; he failed every subject. While in high school, he flunked physics, Latin, algebra, and English. Sparky did not fare much better in sports. He appeared to his classmates as being socially awkward. It wasn’t that he was disliked by his peers; he just didn’t seem to fit in. Nobody ever went out of their way to include him. Outside of school, Sparky would be surprised if a classmate acknowledged him.

When it came to studies, sports and the social scene, Spark felt like a loser. However, there was one thing that Sparky felt particularly confident about; his drawing ability. Of course, no one else seemed to appreciate it. In his senior year of high school, he submitted some cartoons to the editors of the yearbook. The cartoons were turned down. Despite being rejected, Sparky was convinced that he had the ability to become a professional artist. Being an artist would be a great profession for Sparky. He could excel without the need for social interaction or additional schooling.

After completing high school, Sparky wrote a letter to Walt Disney Studios. Walt Disney Studios instructed him to send some samples of his artwork based upon a suggested theme for a cartoon. Sparky spent a great deal of time drawing the cartoon. Eventually, he completed it, submitted it, and waited patiently for a reply. Finally, the reply came from Disney Studios. He had been rejected once again; another loss in the long list of losses for the loser, Sparky.

Unwilling to give up on his dream of becoming a professional artist, Sparky decided to write his own autobiography in cartoons. Through cartoons he described his childhood as being a chronic underachiever, socially awkward, and feeling like a loser much of the time. His cartoon character, a self-image of his childhood, would one day become famous worldwide.

Sparky, the boy who failed over and over while in school and whose artwork was repeatedly rejected, was no other than Charles Schulz. Schultz was the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. The little cartoon character whose kite would never fly, who never succeeded in kicking a football and whose mantra was “good grief” is Charlie Brown. It is no wonder where Charlie Brown got his first name.

Thanks to the work of a young artist who refused to give up on his dream, A Charlie Brown Christmas premiered 46 years ago today. At the last moment, CBS thought about nixing the premier. It was believed that the audience might have a hard time identifying with a protagonist who was a loser. The show did air and has aired virtually ever year since its premier.

Charles Schulz’s life epitomizes that “in adversity lies opportunity.” Think of the millions of children, and adults for that matter, who have been entertained by Charlie Brown and company. Charles Schulz lived a life of rejection. Yet, he did not allow rejection to define him as an artist. What might have happened if Charles Schulz would have given up on his dream?

Charles Schulz’s life depicted in a comic strip teaches us life is hard and life is full of challenges, but in the end, things always seem to work out for the good. The next time you find yourself struggling or maybe feeling like you just don’t fit in, remember Sparky, the loser, who in time became a winner worldwide.

***
From A Charlie Brown Christmas:

Linus quotes the second chapter of the Gospel according to Luke, verses 8 through 14.

”8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. 12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and goodwill towards men.'"

"...And that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."***

It’s your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother!

“But I’m strong, strong enough to carry him. He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.”
-- performed by The Hollies (1969)

***
Are you strong? Are you in shape? Can you run a mile? How about running a ½ mile carrying another person? Sound like a lot of work? Not for Andover High School cross-country runner, Josh Ripley. This past September, Ripley was competing with his team in the Applejack Invite in Lakeville Minnesota. 261 competitors had entered the race. For Ripley, the race started out like any other race; ordinary until about a mile into the race when Josh heard the sound of someone in distress. After rounding a corner, Josh found fellow competitor, Mark Paulauskas, bleeding profusely and clutching his ankle. Paulauskas had been spiked (cleated) and was unable to walk. The runners ahead of Ripley were either too focused to notice Paulauskas or simply chose to ignore him.

The 6’5” Ripley scooped up the 5’5” Lakeville freshman into his arm and began running with him. Ripley asked Paulauskas if he could say a prayer for him. Paulauskas agreed. Paulauskas said that Ripley kept trying to assure Paulauskas that he would be alright. After running with Paulauskas for almost a ½ mile, Ripley was able to hand off the injured freshman to the Lakeville coach.

Ripley was in last place and considerably far behind the other runners when Paulauskas was handed off to Paulauskas' coach. Filled with adrenaline and a competitive spirit, Josh Ripley was determined to finish the race. Finish the race he did; he passed 50 runners on his way to the finish line. Ripley finished 211 out of 261 competitors.

Mark Paulauskas was taken to an emergency room and was given twenty stitches to close the wound. Paulauskas said he was incredibly grateful for Ripley’s act of compassion and selflessness. Some are lauding Ripley as a hero; a label that Ripley quickly discounts. Ripley said, “I did nothing special. I really feel I just did the right thing. Any of my teammates would have done the same thing. It wasn't an act of heroism. It was an act of kindness that I know I needed to accomplish."

Josh Ripley's story sounds familiar; it is a modern day Good Samaritan story. The runners who passed by Paulauskas are like the priest and Levite who ignored the injured traveler. Ripley is the Good Samaritan who "being moved with compassion" stopped to render assistance to a fellow man in need. (Luke 10:25-37)

I ask you: How many times have you turned a blind eye when someone was in need? With our busy lives it is not difficult to offer a variety of excuses why we cannot lend a hand to someone in need: "I'm too busy," "It will make me late," or "someone else will help them." What about the occasions where we were too preoccupied with our lives that we did not even notice someone in need? How many times have we missed the chance to do what Josh Ripley referred to as "The right thing?" Stopping to help someone in need is always the right thing; it may not be the easiest or the most popular thing to do; it might even disrupt your plans. But, one thing is for certain, the right thing is always the right thing to do. Ripley stopped to do the right thing. It most certainly cost him a chance to win the race. However, the true winner of the event was not the person who crossed the finish line first; the true winner was a competitor by the name of Ripley.

Today, take time to step outside of your world. When you do so, you will find plenty of opportunities for you to come to the aid of another. Remember, demonstrating compassion not only benefits a person in need; it makes you a better person and in turn the world a becomes a better place to live.

His welfare is my concern
no burden is he to bear
we'll get there

For I know
He would not encumber me
He aint heavy, he's my brother

- The Hollies

***
It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Live Like You Were Dying

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”
~ Abraham Lincoln

***
In 2005 Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Inc., addressed the graduating class at Stanford University. During his commencement address, Jobs talked about work, life, and death. Yesterday (10/5/11), the world lost Steve Jobs: an inventor, a pioneer, a visionary, and a world changer. Steve Jobs died at the age of 56 after a battle with cancer.

The year prior to his commencement address Jobs was diagnosed with a rare form of pancreatic cancer. Below is a portion of his address where Jobs speaks to the students about death.

"When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: 'If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me.

Remembering that I’ll die is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life."

"It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true."

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Steve Jobs - thank you for following your heart and intuition. You’ve truly changed the world! And, thank you for reminding all of us that our time here is limited, and how important it is to live like you were dying!

Heaven’s Headlines: The Pearly Gates Have Gone Digital – Welcome Steve Jobs!
Rest in Peace – Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Life's Not Fair

"Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not." ~Oscar Wilde I hear quite often, "That's not fair." I hear it from children and adults alike. What makes us think that all things have to be fair? It bothers me that such disillusioned thinking has such a grasp on our society today. The other day, I heard two parents talking how it wasn’t fair that at a sports banquet only a couple of athletes were recognized for their performance during the season. Well, not everything is intended to be fair. “Life is not fair!” The sooner one understands this concept the better off they will be. I grew up in an era when we all knew that life was not fair nor was supposed to be. People were recognized and rewarded based on their attitude, work ethic and ultimately their performance. Rewards were earned! I’ve found in today's culture, children participating in youth sports get rewarded regardless of their performance, effort, and attitude. That wasn’t the case when I was young; there were no juice boxes and snacks for just showing up and, most certainly not, if you were a member of a losing team. When you lost; you lost, period! The only thing you might get from a loss was a lecture from your coach or your dad on what you and/or your team needed to do to win your next game. In the early 70’s, I played Little League baseball. The baseball facility had a concession stand where players from the winning teams would gather for their just reward – a treat from their coach and/or parents. No player from a losing team would venture near the concession stand; a reward after a loss, unthinkable! That’s just the way it was; never once did we think, "That's not fair." We understood winning brought rewards; losing brought nothing. We did not complain; we accepted the reality that our performance and ultimately winning would determine the reward. Understanding the “Life’s not fair,” principle only made us want to work harder. I understand the "rewards for participation" philosophy. It is about protecting the child’s ego; it is about making sure a child feels good about them self and the experience. While I believe that a positive self-image is critical for happiness and success, I also believe that rewarding a child merely for "showing up" sends the wrong message. According to Behavioral psychologists, behavior is learned through conditioning (rewards and punishment). Yes, children playing youth sports should be recognized and rewarded for their performance. They should also be recognized for how they embrace sportsmanship and teamwork, and for their attitude and work ethic. Participating in sports can teach children valuable life lessons. One very valuable lesson is that one does not become successful "by just showing up." The "rewards for participation" philosophy leads to a sense of entitlement. What type of lesson do we teach a child when he/she misses practices; complains about practice drills/exercises; does not put forth their best effort; is selfish and does not get along well with teammates; yet, the child plays the same amount of time as the other players and is rewarded for his/her participation or lack thereof. We are teaching entitlement! Whatever happened to the hard lessons of "You reap what you sow," or "You only get what you deserve?" So what did my youth sports experience teach me? It taught me that "Life's not fair." It taught me that if I want to be successful (win) in the baseball world, the academic world, the business world, or in any "world" for that matter, I need to work incredibly hard and never give up. It taught me that the only thing I am entitled to is that which I truly deserve. As I look back, I can say that I'm glad there were no treats when we lost a little league baseball game, for it taught me one of life’s most valuable lessons; that being, "Life's not fair" nor should it be! It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it! MJD

The "Ike Special"

“Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.”

-- 1 John 3:18

***
Fall is in the air; cooler temperatures, falling leaves, and, oh yes, football season! Football season ushers in bonfires, tailgates, and cookouts throughout the weekend. Each weekend, thousands of football games are played from the high school level through the pro ranks. Typically, professional football games are scheduled on Sundays, college football is reserved for Saturdays, and high school stadiums are alive on Friday nights. No other sport attracts more spectators week in and week out like football.

To me, the very best football takes place under the lights on Friday night. Sure college and pro football is exciting, but if you want to watch two teams playing for the spirit of the game, you need to go no further than your local high school. On Friday night, you will not find players with exorbitant contracts; you will not sit through television timeouts; and you are not likely to find much of the narcissistic behavior that is so prevalent on Saturdays and Sundays.

On Friday nights you will find kids playing for the love of the game, not for money and fame. You will find players with a wide range of abilities – some very good players and some not so good. It is Friday night, not Saturday or Sunday, that you are likely to witness the best display of character and sportsmanship. On September 24, 2010 at a high school football game in the State of Washington, the unlikely occurred. A player with Down Syndrome became the center of attention when he scored his team’s only touchdown. The touchdown was a culmination of character and sportsmanship displayed by both teams.

The story of Ike Ditzenberger depicts everything that is right about high school athletics. With 10 seconds left to play in a 35-0 football contest, Ike Ditzenberger scampered 51 yards for his team’s only touchdown. Ike a junior at Snohomish High School (WA) was called into the game to run the last play of the game. Coach Mark Perry called the “Ike Special”; a running play designed for Ike to carry the football. Ike was well familiar with the play since his team ends each practice with the running of the “Ike Special.”

The players from the opposing team, Lake Stevens, demonstrated the true meaning of sportsmanship. They gave up a shut-out to allow Ike Ditzenberger an opportunity to score a touchdown. Ike fell in love with football watching his older brothers play the game. For Ike, scoring a touchdown would be a dream come true. Lake Stevens players chased Ike all over the field, making his long touchdown run possible. When Ike crossed the goal line he was surrounded by his teammates. It was not long before Ike burst into a touchdown dance with his teammates. On that September night, Ike Ditzenberger’s dream came true. The coaches and players from both schools stepped outside of themselves and the game to give one player a special moment in time.

Ike Ditzenberger’s story is not just a story about a touchdown. It is a story about inclusion; it is story about compassion; and it is story about character and sportsmanship. You are not likely to hear many stories like the “Ike Special” at a collegiate or professional game. No, the “Ike Specials” take place on Friday nights. If you are looking for some good, hometown, entertainment, take in a high school football game, who knows, you just might witness something “special.”

To see Ike’s touchdown run visit:

***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Heal the World

“Heal the world – make it a better place – for you and for me and the entire human race.”
-- Michael Jackson

***
In 1991 Michael Jackson released the song Heal the World. It has been reported the Jackson maintained that out of all of the songs he recorded, he was most proud of Heal the World. Heal the World speaks to the heart of what each us can do to heal the world; we just need to care! In the song Jackson says, “There are ways to get there if you care enough for the living, make a little space, make a better place.”

The world is more in need of healing today than it was in 1991 when Michael Jackson recorded the song. The world is broken and is in need of healing. You do not need to look any further than the daily news: war, poverty, starvation, homelessness, disease, discrimination, corruption, hatred, murder, violence and drugs. How did we get here? Our society has been transformed from a “culture of we” to a “culture of me.” Too many people have stopped caring about one another; they only care about what is best for them. Do not get me wrong there are several good, kind, and caring people in the world – just not enough!

It is the responsibility of all to hand off to the generations to come a world better than they way we found it. We will never create a better world if we choose to care only about ourselves. Malcom Forbes once said, "People who matter are most aware that everyone else does, too." We need to put the brakes on this “culture of me” and get back to the “culture of we.” Why, because there is strength in numbers. It has been said, “Individually we are but one drop, together we are an ocean.” Keep in mind, one drop can easily dry up, whereas oceans will endure. If we choose to continue to live like one drop, the world will never heal.

I ask you, can you care just a little bit more? Ask yourself, what can I do to heal the world? It does not take some extraordinary event on your part. No, it just takes a little bit love; love for one another. Love is something we have an endless supply of. Since you can never run out of love, why not give more. Remember, the Good Lord taught us the second greatest commandment is “to love your neighbor as yourself” – Mark 12:31. Let us all begin today by loving our neighbor so we can start healing the world one encounter at a time!

Do your part - Heal the World!

Happy Birthday – Michael Jackson (1958 – 2009)

Watch Heal the World performed by Judith Hill at Michael Jackson’s memorial service by clicking here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwARI0VV5hY&feature=player_embedded

It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Luck - Preparation Meets Opportunity

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it.
-- Thomas Jefferson

***
Why is it that some people seem luckier than others? Why do some people always seem to be in the right spot at the right time? Do you believe in Luck? Webster’s Dictionary defines luck as “An event, good or ill, regarded as occurring by chance or fate.” It is true; some people seem to have their fair share of good fortune, while others seem to attract ill fortune.

So, if you believe in luck, you have to take the good with the bad – both good luck and bad luck. What causes a person to be lucky or unlucky? Luck, good or bad, will be determined by preparation and opportunity. Preparation is the antecedent. Opportunity is about timing. So, luck is really about preparation, good or ill, meeting opportunity.

Preparation is about doing the work. It is about rolling up your sleeves and getting dirty. Preparation is a willingness to do the work, being disciplined, and acquiring the necessary knowledge and skills. If you have prepared properly, when an opportunity presents itself, you will have put yourself in a good position to experience good fortune. Some might attribute your good fortune to luck. They are quick to say, “he/she is always lucky.” These people do not understand luck. These people fail to recognize and/or appreciate the preparation that preceded your good fortune. They fail to see the sweat and toil you endured; the discipline and perseverance you underwent; and the time and sacrifice you put forth.

Conversely, when an opportunity presents itself and you are ill-prepared, the opportunity seems to quickly vanish. Opportunities come and go quickly. Hence, you must be prepared. If not, you are going to “miss the boat” and the boat is not likely to come around your way again. Understand, you will not be in a position to tell the boat to wait while you go get prepared. Those that miss the boat fail to see the importance of preparation and prefer to blame it on “another case of bad luck.”

Opportunity is about timing. The timing has to be right and everything has to line up accordingly. Opportunity is manifested in two ways: self created and random. A self-created opportunity is about doing the right things (preparation) so that over time you create the opportunity. You position yourself so that when the work is done the opportunity presents itself. Is the young executive that quickly ascends the corporate ladder lucky, or has he/she done the work. Chances are they have done the work! The young executive was willing to do the work while his/her colleagues were sleeping (figuratively).

A random opportunity is simply about being in the right spot at the right time. Winning the lottery is about being in the right spot at the right time – a random opportunity. It is about purchasing a ticket at the right store at the right time. Even though the purchase of the winning ticket is considered to be random event, one cannot overlook the importance of doing the work to be in the right spot at the right time. You have to be willing to go to a vendor to purchase a ticket. And, you have to be willing to part with your money, knowing the odds are not in your favor (between 16 million to 1 and 120 million to 1, depending upon the game you play). The point is simple; if you are not willing to do the work (do what it takes to play the game), you cannot create an opportunity to win.

There you have it! Luck is about preparation meeting opportunity. It is about work and timing. You may not be able to control timing, but you certainly can control doing the work. Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonalds, says it best, “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat the luckier you get.” Today is the day to start creating your own good luck; expect good things to happen, do the work, and in due time the opportunity will present itself!

“Good luck creating good luck,” or should I say, “Good luck with your preparation meeting opportunity,”

***
It's your life: live it, love it, celebrate it!
MJD

Are You Contagious?

“A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.”
-- Tom Stoppard

***
Recently, I heard a colleague say they had just come from the doctor’s office and were diagnosed with a viral infection. Someone asked “Are you contagious?” The colleague advised, “You should probably keep your distance, I still might be. Hearing the word “contagious” and not wanting to be affected (infected) by my colleagues condition, I decided to distance myself.

Distancing myself, I began thinking about our contagious effects. I thought about how just being in the presence of others can affect others. Contagious comes from the word “contagion.” A contagion is anything that has the tendency to spread. Contagions are not limited to the biological realm (spreading of viruses and bacteria). Our behavior and actions have a contagious effect too. So I ask you “Are you contagious?” Are you conscious of the affect your attitude and behavior has on others? Or, do you just go about your day affecting people you come in contact without much thought or consideration?

You can catch more than a virus or bacteria from someone else. A person’s bad mood and negative attitude will have an affect on those around them. The more exposure you have to negative person the more likely you are to display negative tendencies. One employee in your office, one player on your team, or one person in your group is capable of creating negative environment for all. One’s attitude definitely affects others! A rude waiter can ruin your dinner. A complaining co-worker can disrupt the office environment. A cantankerous relative can cut short the family outing - the list goes on.

There is good news! Positive attitudes are contagious too. Think about it – a smile really is contagious. It is hard not to smile when somebody smiles at you. Do you not feel somewhat energized in the presence of an enthusiastic person? What type of affect does an affable person have upon you? Being around positive people certainly has a positive effect.

It is not only important to think about how your attitude and behavior affect (infects) others, it is also important to think about how you allow the attitude and behavior of others to affect (infect) you. Pay close attention to those around you. Some associations you can choose, others, like you work co-workers, you are sort of stuck with. When you choose, choose people who will have a positive affect on you. If you happen to be stuck with a “Negative Nellie” or a “Pouting Paul” distance yourself as much as possible and keep your guard up by maintaining a positive attitude. The Good Book reminds us that keeping poor company will destroy good character - 1 Corinthians 15:33.

Remember, you are not an island. Your attitudes, both good and bad, not only affect you, but have an affect on a multitude of others. So I ask you “Are you contagious?” Are spreading a good attitude or a bad attitude. If you are one of those people who have a bad attitude, please stay home because nobody wants want you have.

***
It’s your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD!

Your Wish is Your Command

“The absolutely awesome incredible power of belief is the genie in your life.” ~ Eldon Taylor

***
In most stories and tales about magical lamps and genies, a genie emerges from the lamp and offers to grant three wishes to whoever finds (rubs) the magical lamp. The genie is often quick to admonish that you cannot wish for more wishes. It is always three wishes; no more, no less. Perhaps, no story depicts this better than the 1992 Disney animated film, Aladdin. After Aladdin finds the lamp, the genie advises Aladdin there is a wish restriction. The genie says, “Three wishes, to be exact. And, ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's all. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.”

In the world of make believe, it is always just three wishes. Not so in the real world! There are no wish restrictions. In addition, we have no need to seach for a magic lamp. Each one of us already has a genie and our genie is with us for life. It is just too bad we do not understand the power of our genie and rely on our genie more often. Your genie has the power to grant your wishes; and there are no wish restrictions.

Our genie is our beliefs – what we believe. The power of our genie is dependent solely upon the strength of your beliefs. The more you believe the more power your genie possesses. Likewise, the more power the genie possesses the more likely your wishes will come true. Conversely, if belief is lacking, your genie is powerless, and your wishes will likely never come true.

Belief is a powerful thing. No man or woman has ever accomplished anything great without first believing it was possible. Belief is what turns a wish into reality. It has the power to the turn the intangible into the tangible; the abstract into the concrete.

Today is the day to awaken the genie within you. Your genie is ready to go to work and accomplish great things for you. There is no magic lamp to rub, no wish limitations. All you have to do is believe. Remember, in order to achieve you must first believe. Hence, your wish really can be your command.

If you want to double your chances of your wishes coming true, listen to what the Good Book says, “ And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.” -- Matthew 21:22

***
It’s your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

It's Too Hot!

“Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”

~Chinese Proverb

***
There is no doubt about the weather being unpredictable in the great State of Michigan. You have heard it said, “If you don’t like the weather in Michigan, wait five minutes.” The saying is indicative of the fickleness of “Mother Nature” here in the Wolverine State. Case in point: Less than a week ago the temperatures were in the 60’s, the last couple of days the mercury hit the mid-90’s, and now forecaster are predicting the upper 60’s in the coming days.

The weather in Michigan can be enigmatic. This year the vernal equinox (spring) began March 20th. Spring is characterized by a gradual transition from the cold, harshness of the winter winds to the warm, softness of summer breezes. However, this year, somebody forgot to remind Mother Nature of spring’s annual role. This spring was the coldest, wettest spring that I can remember. April Showers are supposed to bring May flowers. This year, lots of April showers brought May showers and more May showers and more May showers. I cannot tell you how many times this spring I have heard people complain about the weather; rain and cold, rain and cold, rain and cold! All spring, I heard people saying things like, “It’s too cold,” “It’s too rainy,” “I wish it would warm up,” or “This has been a horrible spring.”

Yes, “Mother Nature” was not so kind to us “Michiganians” or “Michiganders” (whatever demonym you prefer) this spring. Yes, we all waited patiently for the warm weather to arrive. And, yes the warm weather is now here. But now, it is too hot! Now, people are complaining it is too hot. How quickly they forget that less than a week ago they were begging and praying for warmer weather. Now, it is too hot! Instead of being thankful that we can say good-bye to a miserable spring, now, it is too hot!

Is it really too hot, or are some people not happy unless they have something to complain about? Lets see, cold and wet – complain; hot and dry – complain. For you complainers, please do not tell us when it is too hot or too cold. We can make that decision for ourselves.

For you complainers, there are things that you can control and things that you cannot control – please understand the difference. Accept the things that you cannot control (like the weather) and make the best of the situation. And, oh yes, do it without complaining. We are not interested in your negative spin. For the things you can control, do something about it. Nothing will change unless you are willing to take action. And, oh yes, do it without complaining. We are not interested in hearing you complain about something you can fix, but choose to do nothing about it.

Are you a constant complainer? Do you have a permanent seat on the “complain train?” Remember, except for God’s love for us, nothing in life will ever be completely perfect. So, it is time that you really start appreciating life, even with its imperfections. Do not complain about what you have or what you don’t have. Be thankful! The opposite of complain is gratitude. You can complain and wallow in negativity and lack, or you can practice gratitude and bask in happiness and abundance. The choice is yours!

Young children are taught say to thank you upon receiving a gift. Children learn that demonstrating a lack of appreciation can be offensive to the gift giver. More importantly, a child should never complain about a gift received. Remember, each day is gift from God. Spending the day complaining is offensive to the gift giver. I urge you to make it a daily habit to practice gratitude. You can begin by reciting each morning, “This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad.” – Psalms 118:24

This truly is the day the Lord hath made. It may be 95 degrees, but you will not hear me complaining. And no, it is not too hot!

***
It is your life: live it, love it & celebrate it
MJD

A Blessing in Disguise

“What seems to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.”
~Oscar Wilde

***
Trials are difficult! Trials can cause anxiety and suffering. Trials can result in loss and separation. Trials can leave you feeling disappointed, hurt and/or frustrated. So, how could one ever find blessing from a trial? You are not likely to find a blessing from trial unless you have faith; faith that there will be a blessing. You have to believe that every adversity has within it an opportunity. The key is to believe. When you believe in something, you create an expectation. The expectation causes an awakening. Soon you begin looking for what you expect. Why do so many people miss the blessing in a trial? It is because they are not looking for it. It is really quite simple; you cannot find something unless you are willing to search for it.

Believe it or not, we create most of the trials in our life. We create the trials in our lives, because we are the ones in control of our lives. Some trials, like the loss of a love one or the physical/emotional suffering of a loved are surely beyond our control. But, most trials are created by the decisions we make or have made. Some decisions have an immediate effect; a decision is made and the trial commences soon thereafter. Other decisions have a delayed effect. The trial may not appear for days, months, or years. Since we create our trial(s), it is up to us to accept responsibility for our trial(s). It is only when you accept responsibility for your trial(s) that you can begin moving forward with ending the trial(s). Sure, the initial outcome may not always be pleasant. But, those with faith, know that the blessing in disguise will be revealed in due time. Remember, the Good Book tells us, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance.” – Romans 5:3.

So, the next time you are experiencing a trial know that your trial is a blessing in disguise. Have faith and be patient. An old Chinese proverb says it best, “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.”

It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Will You Stay?

DON'T QUIT

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but dont you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint on the clouds of doubt,

And you can never tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar.

So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit

It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

~ Unknown

***

A look at history demonstrates that this nation has persevered. Many, many Americans have suffered trials and tribulations, yet persevered. Some are quite famous and easily recognizable, while others have persevered without much fanfare or notice. Some are great inventors, scientists, entrepreneurs, athletes and artists. Some are your neighbors, relatives, parents and siblings. When you feel like giving up, look no further than the examples in history or the living examples that have demonstrated perseverance. Most, if not all, people who have persevered were/are common people with an uncommon desire to never quit.

When Glenn “Bo” Schembechler began his coaching tenure at the University of Michigan in 1969, he coined the slogan, “Those that stay will be champions.” Schembechler’s slogan is a statement about perseverance. “Those that stay,” is indicative that some will not have what it takes and will quit. “Will be champions,” is a testament that success will come to those that persevere. Schembechler was paraphrasing the old adage, “Quitters never win and winners never quit.” You cannot become a winner unless you are willing to persevere. The Good Book also teaches us about the benefits of perseverance, “Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” – Galatians 6:9. In other words, we shall reap, if we do not quit.

I ask you, are you willing to stay as long as it takes to become a champion?

***
It is your life: live it, love it & celebrate it
MJD

What Did You Say?

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”
~ Attributed to Plato

****

The wise are adept at managing their mouth. They know when to speak, what to say, and how to say it. The foolish, on the other hand, have a reckless mouth. They speak out of selfishness. Feeling compelled to hear themselves speak, their timing, content and/or presentation is ineffective. Remember, The Good Book tells us, “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble” (Proverbs 21:23).

Today, be like the wise and start managing your mouth. I ask you, the next time you speak will you have something to say or will you have to say something?

Its your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

The Scorpion and the Frog

"One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised,"
--Chinua Achebe

***
The lesson of the scorpion and the frog teaches us to always do what we know is right. It reminds us what is inherently bad always results in something bad, no matter how one tries to deceive you.

One day, a scorpion wandered the banks of wide, swift moving river. He came upon a frog that was sitting on the bank of the river. The scorpion greeted the frog with, “Hello Mr. Frog, it certainly is a nice day.” Somewhat suspicious of the scorpion’s amicable greeting, the frog responded with a cautious, “Hello.” The frog thought about what his parents had taught him about scorpions: frogs should always distance themselves from a scorpion. It is a scorpion’s nature to sting and a scorpion can kill a frog almost instantly with its sting.

The frog, possessing an inquisitive nature, could not help but wonder why the scorpion was wandering the banks of the river and making conversation with a frog. The frog asked, “What are you doing wandering the banks of this river? Aren’t you afraid you might get swept into the river and drown?” The scorpion replied, “Oh, I’ve been to the other side of the river and life is so much better on the other side. Therefore, I wander these banks, because I so desperately want to get to the other side once again. Since I can’t swim, I search for someone who can assist me with getting to the other side.”

Now, the frog’s parents had told the frog him that he must never swim to the other side of the river. The frog told the scorpion that he been told that the river’s current was much too treacherous and life on the other side was savage and dangerous. The scorpion retorted, “I told you that I’ve been to the other side of the river and there is nothing quite like it. The scorpion continued, “your parents tell you such things because they are afraid; they are afraid that once you make it to the other side you’ll never want to leave and they will have lost you forever. Capturing the frog's attention, the scorpion continued to speak about all the wonderful things on the other side of the river. When finished, the scorpion politely asked the frog, “How about if you and I go to the other side just for a little bit? That way you can get a little glimpse of the other side and we can come back anytime you like.” The scorpion with a convincing tone said, “We can make it easily. I can climb on your back and help to navigate the rough waters.”

Now the frog, remembering the lesson from his parents said, “No way, I’m not giving you a ride on my back you’ll sting me.” The scorpion quickly responded, “Not so, for if I sting you, we both would surely drown and I’m not really interested in dying.” The frog thought to himself, I really do want to see the other side and I won't be gone that long. Besides, that would be foolish of the scorpion to sting me for he would surely die too. The frog told the scorpion, "hop on my back – we’ll both go to the other side."

The frog, with the scorpion on his back, began the venture to the other side of the river. Things appeared to be going well until about half way through the trip when the frog felt a paralyzing sting in his back. The sting caused the frog to quickly lose feeling in his legs and he began to helplessly sink. The frog gasping for air struggled to reach the top. With the scorpion still on his back, the frog, with his last breath, said, “Why did you deceive me, you stung me?” The scorpion said, “you knew that I am scorpion and you knew it was my nature to sting.” With that, both the frog and scorpion slowly descended to the bottom of the river.

The story of the scorpion and the frog has a simple lesson: What you know to be good is good; what you know to be evil is evil; what you know to be right is right; and what you know to be wrong is wrong.

Temptation will always be a part of your life. You will be tempted with things that you know are wrong or just do not seem right. Remember, they are wrong or do not seem right for a reason. The philosophy, “I’ll try it just once or a little bit won’t hurt – can and will hurt. Remember the frog was just going to the other side for just a little bit.

So the next time you are tempted, I hope you stop and think about the Lesson of the Scorpion and the Frog. Remember, the things that you have been taught that can hurt you, will hurt you, no matter how cleverly disguised they might be.

If you are ever in a situation where you are little confused between what is right or what is wrong, what is good or what is bad, and you really do not know where to turn; you can always find the answers you seek. Just turn to the one who said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.” For he will surely guide your way, reveal you the truth and renew your life.

***
It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Angels Among Us

"I expect to pass through this life once. If, therefore, there can be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, for I shall not return this way again."

-- William Penn***
A very poor, eight year old boy lived in the inner-city with his family. One cold, autumn day he stood peering in the window at the local store. Standing barefoot, a new pair of tennis shoes had caught his eye. A woman, who was passing by, asked the young boy, "Young man, what are you doing staring so intently into the window?" Shyly, he said, "I was just sort of praying and hoping that God would see to it that someday I might get a new pair of sneakers.”

Without hesitation, the woman took the young boy into the store and purchased the tennis shoes that the boy had been admiring. When she handed the shoes to the young boy, he could not believe it; he had a brand-new pair of tennis shoes. It was the first time in his life that he would not have to go barefoot or wear hand-me-down shoes. Nobody had ever been so kind to him. With tears streaming down his cheeks, he said, "Ma'am can I ask you a question?” “Certainly,” she responded. The young boy looked at her and asked, “Are you God's wife?"

POINT TO PONDER: Today, make it a point to do something nice for someone you do not know. Be kind to strangers by engaging in random acts of kindness; give a needy person a few spare dollars; feed an expiring parking meter; help a stranded motorist. Opportunities for random acts of kindness are all around us. However, when we get so caught up in our own world, we become be oblivious to the needs of others. Worse yet, sometimes we purposely turn a blind eye. When you take the time to step outside of yourself, you will see people in need all around you. Imagine how great this world would be if each one of us engaged in just one random act of kindness each day? No doubt, the world would be a better place. Remember, a random act of kindness helps two people: you and the person in need. Booker T. Washington tells us, “If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.”

One never knows what good might become of helping a stranger in need. The Good Book reminds us, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing people have entertained angels without knowing it.” -- Hebrews 13:2. Remember, the next time you do something nice for a stranger, he/she just might be an angel. And, we all could use a few more angels among us.

Its your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

Are We There Yet?

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
~Benjamin Franklin

***

We just recently returned from vacationing in Florida – Spring Break 2011. We no longer make the annual trip by car. We now fly! During our recent flight, I could not help but recall the many times we made the trip to Florida in the family vehicle. Seeing America by car was adventurous, while at the same time it offered its share of challenges. One such challenge was answering the redundant question, “Are we there yet.” I could not begin to count the number of times we (my wife and I) heard, “Are we there yet?” One thing was for sure; the first question would come no less than an hour into the 20 hour trek. The only uncertainty was which child would be the first to ask the question.

Planning a vacation has a fancy name; it’s called goal setting. Like all goals, a vacation must begin with a vision. The vision results in a destination. The next phase in goal setting is the planning stage. Once the destination has been set, the planning phase kicks in. After planning comes the “work stage.” It is during this stage that it is critically important that you continually monitor your progress.

When we work towards a goal, we need to be excited. Excited like a child in the backseat of a vehicle en route a vacation destination. That same excitement will cause us to ask ourselves “Are we there yet?” The question should help us focus on our goal and allow us to make any necessary adjustments in advancing toward the goal. To a child, traveling in a car to a vacation destination seems like an eternity. Hence the redundant question, “Are we there yet.” The same can be true for us when pursuing a goal. You may find that you have worked extremely hard in pursuit of your goal; yet, you have nothing to show for it. Ask yourself, “Are we (Am I) there yet?” Be like a child; continue to ask yourself the question. The question will help to bring you back to the vision.

The question will allow you to assess where you are. You may be right on track. It could be that your design was a little off or you have lost a little passion, and a few adjustments are in order. Or, possibly you might find that the physical, mental and emotional toll is no longer worth the pursuit of a once worthy goal.

The question will allow you to enjoy the journey. The answer “no” reminds us that good things are worth waiting for. In a car, children have a tendency to ask the question repeatedly because they have not learned how to enjoy the ride. For them, the question is precipitated by games or activities that quickly become monotonous and boring. Remember, when the answer to your question is “no,” take time to enjoy the pursuit of your goal. Don’t be like the child in the back seat who gets so fixated on the end result, that they cannot enjoy the ride. Most times, the journey has more to offer than the destination.

The question will allow you to take credit for the road thus traveled. Although the answer might be “no,” you can look back and take credit for how far you have come. Each mile traveled brings you that much closer to your destination. The fact that you are moving in the direction of your goal is an accomplishment. Each step you take towards your goal puts you that much closer to attaining it. And, that in itself is something to be celebrated. Take the time to celebrate how far you have come.

When vacationing by car you are likely to encounter a few problems; traffic jams, bad weather and fatigue to name a few. In pursuing your goal, there will be times when nothing seems to be moving – everything is at a standstill; times when things seem dark, gloomy and sometimes even turbulent; and times where you just feel wore out. It is during these times that you have to maintain a steady focus. Remember, the Good Book tells us, “The plans of the diligent leads to abundance.” - Proverbs 21:5

Think about the child in the backseat. The child is the epitome of perseverance. Several times they have asked, “Are we there yet?” Each time, they hear, “No, not yet.” Nonetheless, they keep on asking. They will not give up; they have their eyes on the prize. What I find most impressive is that I have never heard of a child giving up after being told, “No, not yet.” I doubt a child would ever say, “Mom and Dad, I have had enough, let’s turn around and go back home. Instead, you can count on hearing again, “Are we there yet?”

There is something we all can definitely learn from that child in the backseat who wants to know, “Are we there yet?”

It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

What's the Score

"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it."
~Fyodor Dostoevsky

***
A score is kept in athletic contests, recreational games and even most board games. Keeping score is nothing more than counting. The reason we keep score is to determine who wins. Dostoevsky is right on point! In the game of life, most people have a tendency to count and focus on losses (troubles) more so than wins (joys).

Counting troubles is negative thinking. Negative thinking produces negative results, which leads to more counting, more negative thinking, and more negative results. The cycle perpetuates itself. Understand, If you choose to count an event as troublesome, you are inviting more trouble into your life. Why? – Because negative thinking produces a negative expectation. We as humans do not like to be wrong, so we look to validate what we perceive (expect) to be true. If one begins with a negative expectation, one will immediately start looking for something negative in an event. It does not matter what happened or what did not happen, a negative person, not wanting to be wrong, will find the event as negative.

Keep in mind though, that an event is neither negative or positive. It is simply an event. An event is an objective occurrence. The value (positive or negative) we place on a event is subjective and is influenced by our expectation of the event (before) and the meaning we ascribe to the event (after). Negative people have a negative expectation, look for the negative, and will ascribe a negative meaning to the event. On the other hand, positive people expect positive, look for the positive, and will see the event as positive. How is it that two people can experience the exact same event and view it completely differently; one as positive and the other as negative? It is all a matter of choice!

Positive people face adversity too. Unlike the negative person, they choose to look for something good out of the adversity. Positive people live by three important principles when it comes to adversity: first, in every adversity there is something good; second, it is through adversity that growth and development takes place; and third, the good may not be evident for some time, nonetheless it is still there. So when adversity befalls a positive person, they choose to count the event as something good instead of something troubling.

If you need a little more convincing that the way you think influences your results, I urge you to contemplate the wisdom of King Solomon, “for as one thinks in his heart, so is he.” Think positive, be positive; think happy, be happy.

As life goes on, we will undoubtedly continue to keep score of our troubles and our joys. You will always win when you choose to focus on and count the joys. Remember, you are the scorekeeper in the game of life and you get to decide the outcome!

***
It's your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD

Furnishing the Mind

"A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself."
~Louis L'Amour

***
How will you furnish your mind? Will it be with thoughts of happiness, gratitude and achievement, or thoughts of sadness, lack and failure. Unlike furnishing a home, which is limited to what you can afford, your mind is not limited. It possess great power and potential. The key is too furnish it with the “right stuff.”

If things do not appear to be going right in your life, then it is time to get rid of some of the old furnishings to make room for new furnishings. Remember, you are the sole designer of your life, choose your furnishings wisely.

It's your life: Live it, Love it, & Celebrate it!
MJD

A Matter of Perspective

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, and a stranger into a friend.
~Melody Beattie

***
How was your Day? When asked, most people will respond without giving much thought. A typical response is “OK” or “Alright.” It is only when something extraordinary occurs that you might hear “Great.”

The next time someone asks you, “How was your day?” … Try not to respond with a rote response. Instead, respond enthusiastically with, “Great,” even if it does not appear that anything extraordinary happened. Why, respond so enthusiastically? … Because, your ordinary day is really an extraordinary day. It is all a matter of perspective.

When you woke up this morning, did you wake up in a bed, with a roof over your head? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t. Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a homeless person who sleeps under a card board box, one night’s sleep in your bed would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!

Were you able to get out of bed and get yourself dressed this morning? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a bed-ridden patient, getting up on your own and dressing yourself would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!

Did you have a choice regarding what you would eat today? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to someone starving in the streets, having food, let alone a choice of food, would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!

Are you able to see and hear nature’s beauty? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a blind person, watching the sun set would be a “great” experience; to a deaf person, listening to birds sing would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!

I could continue, but, I’m quite sure you get the picture. We have so many things to be thankful for. Yet, we seem to take them for granted. The sad truth is we really do not appreciate what we have until it is gone. And, when it is gone, it is too late. Another sad truth is spending so much time and energy chasing after all the things we don’t have, instead of being thankful for the things we do have. Stop the chase, be thankful and enjoy what you have. You already live like royalty. Don’t believe me, just ask a person residing in a third-world country. It is all a matter of perspective.

If we think about it, we really have been blessed abundantly. The Good Book tells us, “give thanks always and in everything.” For it is when we are thankful for our blessings that an ordinary day is transformed into an extraordinary day. So the next time you are asked, “How was your day?” you will have a multitude of reasons to enthusiastically state “Today was Great!”

***
It's your life: Live it, Love it, & Celebrate it!
MJD

Life's Urgent Question

“Life's most urgent question is, what are you doing for others?”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

***
There are two key words in life’s most urgent question: “are” and “doing.” “Are” is present tense, not past tense or future tense. “Are” means now; not what you have done or what your are planning to do The other word is “ Doing.” “Doing” is action. Life’s urgent question does not ask, what are you thinking about doing for others? No, the question focuses on action.

Life poses many, many questions for us. So why is this particular question the most urgent of all life’s questions? Because, right now somebody is in need of your help. All too often, we are so busy with ourselves that we neglect to see others in need. We develop tunnel vision, rushing from here to there and there to here, right smack in our own little worlds. Right now, somebody needs you! It is time you step outside of yourself and take a look around. Somebody needs a smile, a pat on the back, a hand to hold, a listening ear. Somebody needs your time, your talent, your treasure. Remember, when you lift someone else up, you lift yourself up as well. When two people are lifted up, two people win! And, when two people win as a result of an act of kindness, the world becomes a better place.

The Good Book tells us, “Let us not love with words or speech but with action and in truth” (1 John 3:18). So, I now ask you, what ARE you DOING for others?

***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

The Whole Orange

"If I do not speak in a language that can be understood there is little chance for a dialogue." ~Bell Hooks

***
Two ladies found themselves quarreling over an orange. They both protested they needed it more than the other. Both were convinced they had there hands on the orange first and intended to buy before the other. Refusing to give in to the other, they eventually agreed to split the orange in half. The first lady ate the fruit and threw the peel away. The second lady used the peel in a recipe and tossed the fruit away. Both ladies could have got what they wanted (the whole orange), if they would have effectively communicated.

Are you getting only half of the orange because you are not communicating effectively? Miscommunication leads to misunderstanding. Misunderstandings can cause a fight, divorce and even war. Never assume that another person knows how you feel or what you are thinking. You are not being fair to yourself or another if you are not speaking what you think and feel. You are not being true to yourself and you are misrepresenting yourself to someone else. A word of caution, just as the “Good Book” tells us there is a time for everything, there is a time and a place to tell someone how you think and feel. A good communicator not only knows the time and the place, but waits for the appropriate time and place to deliver the message. In addition, a skilled communicator will deliver a message in terms that the recipient will understand, not in terms that is understood only by the sender.

Today, commit to becoming a better communicator: read a book on communication, attend a seminar, or observe others who are good communicators. When you learn how to effectively communicate your wants, needs, dreams and desires, you are that much closer to getting “the whole orange.”

It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it
MJD

Choose Wisely My Friend

Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.
~W. Clement Stone

***
Look no further than your current environment and you associations to determine what is important to you and what you have become. If your not happy with your current life, there is good news; you can choose to change. Since you have created your current circumstance(s) by the choices you have made regarding your environment and associations, you can also choose a different environment and different associations. A change may be exactly what you need to bring out the very best in you. Choose wisely my friend – our environment and friends really do shape us!

***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Make That Change!

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
~Leo Tolstoy

***

There is a story of young man whose imagination had no limits. He dreamed of changing the world. As he grew older and wiser, he discovered the world would not change. Still ambitious, he set his sights on changing his country. Over the years, he learned that like the world, his country would not change either. During his twilight years, he was certain that he could change those closest to him. Hence, he made a desperate attempt to change his family. Like the world and his country, his family would not change.

On his deathbed, he parted wisdom to his son. He said, “Son, don’t try to change the world, change yourself. I have come to realize that if I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.”

Do you know anyone like the man in the story? Are you someone who looks to change others, but fails to realize that it is you that must change? It is always another person's problem, mistake, or inadequacy. One of the biggest mistakes a person can make is to try and change somebody. It is a mistake because a person will not change unless the motivation to change exists. Just because you are motivated to change someone else, does not mean the person you wish to change shares the same motivation or has any motivation for that matter. Change has to come from within. Most often your attempt to change someone is met by them with resistance, hostility, or withdrawal. And, you are left to feel resentful, bitter, or frustrated. Instead of fighting a losing battle of trying to change someone else who does not want to change, look first to change yourself.

How do you change yourself? It starts with attitude. Because you control your attitude, you can change your attitude. Because you can change your attitude, you can change your behavior. Because you can change your behavior, you can change! Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” If you are unhappy and trying to change everybody and everything, stop right now. If you want things in your life to change, you must change. The Good Book tells us, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

Remember, you did not get where you are at overnight. Change takes time. Understanding the need and the willingness to change is half the battle. The song, Man in the Mirror (1988), performed by the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson, and written and composed by Siedah Garrett and Glen Ballard tells us that in order to change things we have to start with ourselves:

I’m starting with the man in the mirror,
I’m asking him to change his ways,
And, no message could have been any clearer,
If you want to make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.

Make that change!

***
It is your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Still in the Game

"The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better."
~Barbara Pletcher

***

The recent warm weather has created a bit of spring fever. The weather has got me excited for the 2011 baseball season. Pitchers and catcher reported to spring training early this week. Teams will commence full workouts beginning this weekend. The first game of spring training is just about a week away. Each new season brings new hope of winning a championship. Optimism is at its peak for players and teams during spring training. Just what does the future hold -- a championship, batting title, maybe a gold glove? As a tribute to the 2011 baseball/softball season, from pee-wees to the big leagues, I offer this little story of baseball and optimism:

An eldery gentleman stopped by a local playground to watch some young kids play baseball. The gentleman man was very fond of America’s favorite past time. He loved watching baseball so much that he would sit for hours watching a game; from little league to the pros it did not matter, it was a baseball game. The gentleman was curious about the score and asked one of the youngsters the score. "We're behind 17 to nothing," the youngster answered. The gentleman replied, "I must say you don't seem too discouraged.” The youngster replied, “Why should we be discouraged? We haven't even been up to bat yet."

What an attitude; down 17-0, but still in the game. How about you? When things are not going right for you, do you still believe that you are in the game? It is all about attitude. Maybe the youngster’s team came back and won, maybe they did not. The point is he believed they could win. It was that belief that gave his team a fighting chance. When you do not believe something is possible, it becomes impossible. When you believe something is possible, it moves into the realm of being possible. I urge you to develop/maintain an optimistic attitude. You get what you expect. Plain and simple: If you think you can’t, you can’t; think you can, you can. Remember, when you are down 17-0, having an optimistic attitude will always keep you in the game.

Remember, you are always a winner with Jesus on your team. Invite him to join you today.

***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Love Is ...

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." 
 ~Henry Drummond 

 ***
 Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Millions of Valentine’s Cards will be exchanged today. Some estimate that if you include e-cards, over a billion cards will be delivered to that special valentine. Some cards will have a cute, funny theme, while others will bear a serious, romantic theme. Funny or romantic, nothing describes love better than the following verse.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy.
 Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; 
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered. 
It keeps no record of wrongdoing. 
It does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. 
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves. 
There is nothing love cannot face; 
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance. 
In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.”

-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

There you have it! The essence of real love -- right from the Good Book. 

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romantic love; it is about all love! Valentine’s Day is about love between parents and children, love between siblings, love between relatives, love between friends – it is about love between people. Valentine’s Day is a day set aside to celebrate love.  Yet, it only comes once a year. Eventually, the cards will be put away, the candy boxes will be discarded, and the flowers will wilt and die.  Make it a point to keep love alive by making a commitment to celebrating the gift of love every day.  A good way to start: recite Paul’s missive to the Corinthians each morning. There is no better way to start your day than by thinking about love.  Love is a gift!  It costs nothing – so, give it freely!  !  And, remember what you put out there will come back to you. 

To my family and friends, LOVE YOU! 

It's Your Life: live it, love it, & celebrate it! 
MJD

Ponce, What Were You Thinking?

Ponce, What Were You Thinking?

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
~ Madeleine L'Engle

***
The legend of the “Fountain of Youth” was born in the 5th Century BC. Herodutus, an ancient Greek Historian, wrote of a fountain, which contained a very special kind of water; water which would restore the youth of anyone who drank from it. Over the years, the legend spread and continued to grow in popularity. By the 16th century, the legend had become so popular that Ponce de Leon, a Spanish explorer, was determined to discover the “Fountain of Youth.” Ponce and crew set sail in 1513, but never did discover the magical fountain.

Today, the search for the “Fountain of Youth” continues. Being youthful is glorified by the media. People spend hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to look and feel younger. Those seeking to reclaim their youth are on a quest to turn back the hands of time. What is all the fuss about being youthful? Whatever happened to aging gracefully? Sure you may not be as quick as you once were. It may take you longer to get out of the bed in the morning. And, it certainly takes longer to heal from an injury or recuperate from an arduous physical task. But, growing older definitely has advantages over youthfulness.

When you are young, you have a tendency to get caught up in what others think of you. Because you seek approval and want to “fit in,” you are not being true to yourself. You allow others to define you. Hence, you lack authenticity. As you mature, you become less concerned with the opinions of others. This allows you to be the real you. You come to realize that it is only when you define yourself that you are being authentic. And, there is something liberating about being who you are and not caring what others think.

When you are young, you have a tendency get caught up in trivial matters. Also, you attempt to take on too much and create unnecessary stress in your life. Minor things can easily get blown out of proportion. As you grow older and gain wisdom from experience, you develop a different perspective about life. Things that were previously thought to be important no longer seem to carry that same importance. With age comes the ability to see things from a different perspective. There is a sense of peace when you come to know the difference between what is really important and what is not.

The older you get the better you understand yourself. Youth is a period of confusion. Confusion brought on by the process of self-discovery: Who am I? What will I become? Do I fit in? As you age, you begin to have a better understanding of your talents, your strengths and weaknesses, and what works for you and what does not. It is during our youth that we struggle to find ourselves; many will try to be something there are not. There is a sense of fulfillment that comes from finding ourselves, which can only come as a result of growing older.

With age comes wisdom. Wisdom is gained from experience. It only makes sense that the older you are the more experience you have gained. How often have you heard someone say, “I wish I would have known that when I was younger.” The statement implies that we make plenty of mistakes during our youth due to a lack of experience. It is through our experiences (growing older) that we learn life’s lessons. The “Good Book” tells us how valuable wisdom really is: “For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.” – Proverbs 8:11.

So there you have it – If you are one of those people who are chasing after the “Fountain of Youth,” look no further. Ponce de Leon never found the “magical fountain” and neither will you. Stop trying to fight what is natural – growing older. Rather, enjoy all the benefits of what aging has to offer. Sure, you may have lost some hair, your hearing, and even muscle mass, but to me, it is more than worth it to grow stronger in both mind and spirit.

***
It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

The Big Game

"I can't imagine a person becoming a success who doesn't give this game of life everything he's got."
~Walter Cronkite

***
Super Bowl XXLVIII, “The Big Game,” features the Denver Broncos versus the Seattle Seahawks.  Friends and family will gather together to watch the “The Big Game.”  Parties, delectable food, refreshing beverages, and an all-around good time are the staple of Super Bowl Sunday.  Super Bowl Sunday highlights the two best teams in professional football squaring off and an exposition of entertaining television commercials.  No other media event gets more media coverage than the Super Bowl.  The Super Bowl really is a “big event” on a “big stage” and has earned the name, “The Big Game.”

Not so fast, there is another game that is much bigger than the Super Bowl.  This game does not have pigskin, a state-of-the-art stadium, or goal posts.  It’s time is not measured by quarters and the outcome is not determined by points scored.  A win-loss record does not determine who gets to play.  There are no playoffs or a process of elimination.   In this “big game,” each and every one of us is required to play.   It’s an exclusive game; a game all our own.  We are directly responsible for its outcome.  This big game is the “game of life, ” and there is no bigger game! 

Just like the Super Bowl, the “game of life” requires a game plan and execution of that game plan.  Successful execution of that game plan requires hard work, focus, and passion and belief.  You can bet that both the Broncos and the Seahawks have worked tirelessly designing a game plan.  They have analyzed their strengths and weaknesses and that of their opponent.  The players and coaches understand that just showing doesn't guarantee victory.  Winning takes a well-designed and well-executed game plan.  

In the biggest game you’ll ever play, do you have a well-designed game plan or are you just showing up?   Have you taken the time to analyze your strengths and weaknesses?  Do you have a plan to maximize your strengths and improve upon your weaknesses?   One of the biggest mistakes people make is not taking the time to both design and execute a game plan for their own life.  Be it known, in five, ten, twenty years from now, life’s journey will take you somewhere.   Wouldn't you prefer to arrive at a well-designed destination instead of arriving just somewhere?  Most people do not take enough time to plan their lives.  Yet, they’ll spend weeks planning and fretting over their next vacation.  I just don’t get that!  The Broncos and the Seahawks wouldn't dare compete without a game plan, and neither should you! 

Once a game plan has been devised, the coaches, players, and all those associated with the team must go to work executing the plan.  This is where the hard work comes in.  Long hours, repetition, toil and sweat become the mainstay.  Nothing comes easy and there are no built-in shortcuts.  Successful people are disciplined.  They are willing to work hard; giving up immediate gratification in the here in and now, for much greater benefit in the future.   They understand that the most successful people are working when everyone is sleeping.  Are you working hard in the “game of life?” The Broncos and the Seahawks wouldn't dare compete without putting in long hours and working hard, and neither should you.

With all of the media hype surrounding such a big event it would be easy to get distracted and lose focus.   Coaches and players know that maintaining focus and success go hand-in-hand.   If a player or a coach allows an outside distraction to cause them to lose focus, it affects the way they think and feel; inevitably affecting their performance.  You cannot give 100% to a task at hand, if 1%, 5%, 10%... is somewhere else.   Do you allow outside influences to distract you and cause you to lose focus?  Do you allow people to have a negative influence on you?  Do you complain about things?  Do you get caught up in the lives of others?   Life is full of static (interferences.)  It’s static that will cause you to lose focus. Much of the static in our lives is by our own doing.  For the most part, we have control over what we allow to influence of lives.  Rid yourself of all the unnecessary static in your life and maintain your focus on that which is truly important in your life.  The Broncos and Seahawks wouldn't dare compete with a lack of focus, and neither should you.

The cornerstone of success is passion and belief.  You can’t have one without the other.  The Broncos and the Seahawks would not have made it the Super Bowl without both.  Passion is the insatiable want.  Belief is the unshakable thought.   At the beginning of the year, if the Broncos believed they could win the Super Bowl, but didn't have the passion to go along with it, they never would have put in the necessary work to get them to the “Big Game.”  It’s an attitude of “Yea, we’re sure we can do this, but it’s just not that important to work that hard – so why start.”  If the Seahawks had the want to get to the” big game,” but did not believe it to be possible, they may have started the season strong, but would have given up when things got tough.  It’s an attitude, “we want this, but it’s just not possible - so why keep trying.”  Do you bring both passion and belief to the game of life?   The Broncos and the Seahawks wouldn't dare compete without passion and belief, and neither should you.

This year it’s Super Bowl XLVIII.  Next year, it’s Super Bowl XLIX and it too will be called, “The Big Game.”   The “Big Game” is only played once a year.  But remember, there is a much bigger game being played right now and it’s not just played once a year.   This game is played each and every day.  It’s the “game of life” and it’s the biggest game you’ll ever be a part of.  The best part of this game is you get to play the entire game, make the rules, and call and run all of the plays.  Hence, you get to determine its outcome.  Bear in mind though, this game will not last forever.   Someday, there will be a final tick of the clock and when it’s over it’s over.  There will be no second chances, no overtime, no next game, no next season.  So my question to you: when the clock expires on your game, will you be declared a winner?  

I cannot predict who will win Super Bowl XLVII, or any other game for that matter, with any scientific accuracy.  But, what I can predict is that if you have a well-designed game plan, work hard, remain focused and possess passion and belief, you’ll have a great shot of winning in the “game of life.” If you want a sure bet on winning the game, no questions asked,   simply invite the Good Lord to join your team!  

Enjoy “The Big Game” and more importantly, always enjoy the “Bigger game!”

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

How an Optimist Sees it

“The optimist sees the opportunity in every danger; the pessimist see the danger in every opportunity.”

~Winston Churchill

***

A man came home to find his young son in the backyard with a baseball bat and a ball. He was practicing his hitting by throwing the ball up in the air and then swinging at it.

"Watch me, Dad," the boy yelled to his father. "I can hit the ball a mile." The boy threw the ball up in the air, took a mighty swing ... and missed. "That's okay," said the boy. "It's only strike one. Watch this next one, because I'm going to knock the cover off the ball."

Again the boy tossed the ball up in the air, and missed "Strike two," the boy called out. "But that's okay. It only takes one good swing to hit it out of the park. And that's just what I'm going to do; you just watch Dad!"

With that, the boy carefully threw the ball up in the air, took his biggest swing yet…and missed it again. "Strike three!" he yelled. His father, quick to console his son, put his arm around his son and said “Son you can’t get a hit every time. The son smiled at his father and said, “I know that dad, I’m just glad that I’m a great pitcher.”

The boy represents the epitome of optimism. One definition of optimism is “an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome.” In short, it is “looking for silver lining.” Some believe that the optimist is in denial; they live in a “Pollyanna” world. Nothing could be further from the truth. The optimist is aware that problems exist. However, they simply choose to believe that problems become opportunities. They understand that they will face hard times. But, they have a steadfast belief that whatever the problem is, they shall overcome. They acknowledge the negative, but focus on the positive. They too haven reasons to complain, but find a way to smile.

Being optimistic or pessimistic is a choice. It is all about attitude. You see, because optimists expect good, they constantly look for the good and eventually find it. Hence, the attitude is continually reinforced. When something bad happens to an optimist, they “look for the silver lining.” They know that the good is not likely to be evident right away; rather, it may take years before it is manifested. The optimist is diligent and patient. The storms clouds have to pass before the sun can shine. But, the sun will shine!

Research has shown that optimists achieve more and are healthier than pessimists. It takes a lot of mental energy to perpetuate a pessimistic state. “The sky is falling” philosophy of life generates negative emotions; such as worry, fear and, anxiety. These emotions elicit the stress response. The stress response, when chronically activated, wears down the body’s immune system, making a person more susceptible to illness and left feeling chronically fatigued. Charles Spurgeon said it best. "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength."

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Remember the difference between optimism and pessimism is determined by your thoughts. It is difference between positive thinking and negative thinking. Since you control your thoughts you are choosing whether you see the “glass as half empty or the glass as is half full.”

If you are a pessimist, today is the day to begin the transformation from negative thinking to positive thinking. Positive thinking will do so much more for you than negative thinking. If you are not convinced, try this exercise: take out a piece of paper and write down all of the benefits you derive from negative thinking. I’m pretty optimistic that you will not have much to write.

***
It’s your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD

Sand or Stone

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
-- Lewis B. Smedes

***
There is a story about two friends, named Steven and Saul. One day, they were walking through the desert and an argument ensued. The argument became so heated that Steven slapped Saul in the face. Without saying another word, Saul bent down and wrote in the sand, “Today my best friend slapped me in the face.”

The two continued their walk until they came upon an oasis. Deciding to take a swim, Saul found himself caught up in the mire and started to drown. Steven raced over to Saul, pulled him from the mire, and saved his life. After recovering from the near drowning experience, Saul found a large stone and wrote upon it, “Today my best friend saved my life.”

Steven, being perplexed, asked Saul, “After I hurt you earlier today, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

Saul responded, "When we have been hurt by someone it should be written in the sand where the winds of forgiveness will blow and erase it away. But, when someone has done good favor for us, we should engrave it upon a stone where it shall remain forever.”

How about you, when you have been hurt, do you write the hurt in the sand or on upon a stone? When someone does something nice for you, do you write the good deed upon a stone or in the sand? Far too many do the opposite of Saul’s lesson. They quickly forget the good; yet, hold onto the hurt for a lifetime.

When you hold onto the hurt, you are not in a position to grow. Holding on is the opposite of letting go. You can not change or grow if you’re intent upon staying the same; intent upon holding on. Real healing and growth can only take place when you let go. Holding on is self-sabotaging behavior. It ensures that the hurt keeps hurting and only serves to perpetuate bitterness, anger and /or depression.

Sure, bad things happen and you may have been the victim of someone’s anger, rudeness, insensitivity, or cruelty. They made you a victim by there actions, but you have kept yourself a victim by engraving the hurt upon stones and carry the stones around with you. Some of us are carrying around so many stones that it becomes difficult to function on a daily basis. Remember, the hurtful stones will continue to keep us in the past and and living in hurtful past is like a thief; robbing us of the present and stealing away our future.

Today is the day to begin casting away the hurtful stones of the past. You are not ready to cast until you are ready to forgive. Don’t let the stones serve as a reminder of the past any longer. The “Good Book” tells us “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32).

I ask you to be committed to writing your hurts in the sand and good deeds done unto you upon the stones! Mahatma Gandhi reminds us, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”

***
It is your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD

Give and Take

"A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses."
-- Chinese Proverb

***

You have probably heard a hundred times before that a relationship should be “give and take.”

I’m not sold on the concept of “give and take.” The concept promotes the expectation of receiving something (take) from what you give. Giving should be from the heart, because it is the right thing to do. If you are not giving from the heart, then you are actually engaged in the taking process. Taking is self-centered. When someone decides to give because they feel guilty, they are not giving from the heart. They are giving to feel less uncomfortable, less guilty. Hence, they are engaged in the taking process. Their giving is about them getting something out of it; less guilt.

Worse yet is giving with the expectation of receiving something from somebody in return. When you are motivated to give because you expect something in return, you are taking. You might convince yourself that you are giver, but you are not. In fact, you are manipulator; you manipulate a circumstance so that you can be a taker.

The Great Teacher said, “It is blessed to give than to receive.” To be blessed means to be highly favored or fortunate. The root word of fortunate is fortune. And, to have a fortune is to have much. Your fortune may not be made up of material things. No, your fortune will be made up of something much more valuable; character. Character is the one thing that no one can take away from you. The late John Wooden said, “You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.”

So enough with the “give and take” philosophy; Rather, adopt the “give and be blessed” philosophy. If you are in a give and take relationship, it implies that a score is being kept; “I’ve done this much giving, it is about my turn to take.” It is time to throw away the scorecards. Give without the expectation of anything in return and you will get more than you could ever imagine.

***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD