Make That Change!

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
~Leo Tolstoy

***

There is a story of young man whose imagination had no limits. He dreamed of changing the world. As he grew older and wiser, he discovered the world would not change. Still ambitious, he set his sights on changing his country. Over the years, he learned that like the world, his country would not change either. During his twilight years, he was certain that he could change those closest to him. Hence, he made a desperate attempt to change his family. Like the world and his country, his family would not change.

On his deathbed, he parted wisdom to his son. He said, “Son, don’t try to change the world, change yourself. I have come to realize that if I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.”

Do you know anyone like the man in the story? Are you someone who looks to change others, but fails to realize that it is you that must change? It is always another person's problem, mistake, or inadequacy. One of the biggest mistakes a person can make is to try and change somebody. It is a mistake because a person will not change unless the motivation to change exists. Just because you are motivated to change someone else, does not mean the person you wish to change shares the same motivation or has any motivation for that matter. Change has to come from within. Most often your attempt to change someone is met by them with resistance, hostility, or withdrawal. And, you are left to feel resentful, bitter, or frustrated. Instead of fighting a losing battle of trying to change someone else who does not want to change, look first to change yourself.

How do you change yourself? It starts with attitude. Because you control your attitude, you can change your attitude. Because you can change your attitude, you can change your behavior. Because you can change your behavior, you can change! Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” If you are unhappy and trying to change everybody and everything, stop right now. If you want things in your life to change, you must change. The Good Book tells us, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

Remember, you did not get where you are at overnight. Change takes time. Understanding the need and the willingness to change is half the battle. The song, Man in the Mirror (1988), performed by the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson, and written and composed by Siedah Garrett and Glen Ballard tells us that in order to change things we have to start with ourselves:

I’m starting with the man in the mirror,
I’m asking him to change his ways,
And, no message could have been any clearer,
If you want to make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.

Make that change!

***
It is your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Still in the Game

"The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better."
~Barbara Pletcher

***

The recent warm weather has created a bit of spring fever. The weather has got me excited for the 2011 baseball season. Pitchers and catcher reported to spring training early this week. Teams will commence full workouts beginning this weekend. The first game of spring training is just about a week away. Each new season brings new hope of winning a championship. Optimism is at its peak for players and teams during spring training. Just what does the future hold -- a championship, batting title, maybe a gold glove? As a tribute to the 2011 baseball/softball season, from pee-wees to the big leagues, I offer this little story of baseball and optimism:

An eldery gentleman stopped by a local playground to watch some young kids play baseball. The gentleman man was very fond of America’s favorite past time. He loved watching baseball so much that he would sit for hours watching a game; from little league to the pros it did not matter, it was a baseball game. The gentleman was curious about the score and asked one of the youngsters the score. "We're behind 17 to nothing," the youngster answered. The gentleman replied, "I must say you don't seem too discouraged.” The youngster replied, “Why should we be discouraged? We haven't even been up to bat yet."

What an attitude; down 17-0, but still in the game. How about you? When things are not going right for you, do you still believe that you are in the game? It is all about attitude. Maybe the youngster’s team came back and won, maybe they did not. The point is he believed they could win. It was that belief that gave his team a fighting chance. When you do not believe something is possible, it becomes impossible. When you believe something is possible, it moves into the realm of being possible. I urge you to develop/maintain an optimistic attitude. You get what you expect. Plain and simple: If you think you can’t, you can’t; think you can, you can. Remember, when you are down 17-0, having an optimistic attitude will always keep you in the game.

Remember, you are always a winner with Jesus on your team. Invite him to join you today.

***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Love Is ...

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." 
 ~Henry Drummond 

 ***
 Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Millions of Valentine’s Cards will be exchanged today. Some estimate that if you include e-cards, over a billion cards will be delivered to that special valentine. Some cards will have a cute, funny theme, while others will bear a serious, romantic theme. Funny or romantic, nothing describes love better than the following verse.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy.
 Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; 
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered. 
It keeps no record of wrongdoing. 
It does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. 
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves. 
There is nothing love cannot face; 
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance. 
In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.”

-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

There you have it! The essence of real love -- right from the Good Book. 

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romantic love; it is about all love! Valentine’s Day is about love between parents and children, love between siblings, love between relatives, love between friends – it is about love between people. Valentine’s Day is a day set aside to celebrate love.  Yet, it only comes once a year. Eventually, the cards will be put away, the candy boxes will be discarded, and the flowers will wilt and die.  Make it a point to keep love alive by making a commitment to celebrating the gift of love every day.  A good way to start: recite Paul’s missive to the Corinthians each morning. There is no better way to start your day than by thinking about love.  Love is a gift!  It costs nothing – so, give it freely!  !  And, remember what you put out there will come back to you. 

To my family and friends, LOVE YOU! 

It's Your Life: live it, love it, & celebrate it! 
MJD

Ponce, What Were You Thinking?

Ponce, What Were You Thinking?

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
~ Madeleine L'Engle

***
The legend of the “Fountain of Youth” was born in the 5th Century BC. Herodutus, an ancient Greek Historian, wrote of a fountain, which contained a very special kind of water; water which would restore the youth of anyone who drank from it. Over the years, the legend spread and continued to grow in popularity. By the 16th century, the legend had become so popular that Ponce de Leon, a Spanish explorer, was determined to discover the “Fountain of Youth.” Ponce and crew set sail in 1513, but never did discover the magical fountain.

Today, the search for the “Fountain of Youth” continues. Being youthful is glorified by the media. People spend hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to look and feel younger. Those seeking to reclaim their youth are on a quest to turn back the hands of time. What is all the fuss about being youthful? Whatever happened to aging gracefully? Sure you may not be as quick as you once were. It may take you longer to get out of the bed in the morning. And, it certainly takes longer to heal from an injury or recuperate from an arduous physical task. But, growing older definitely has advantages over youthfulness.

When you are young, you have a tendency to get caught up in what others think of you. Because you seek approval and want to “fit in,” you are not being true to yourself. You allow others to define you. Hence, you lack authenticity. As you mature, you become less concerned with the opinions of others. This allows you to be the real you. You come to realize that it is only when you define yourself that you are being authentic. And, there is something liberating about being who you are and not caring what others think.

When you are young, you have a tendency get caught up in trivial matters. Also, you attempt to take on too much and create unnecessary stress in your life. Minor things can easily get blown out of proportion. As you grow older and gain wisdom from experience, you develop a different perspective about life. Things that were previously thought to be important no longer seem to carry that same importance. With age comes the ability to see things from a different perspective. There is a sense of peace when you come to know the difference between what is really important and what is not.

The older you get the better you understand yourself. Youth is a period of confusion. Confusion brought on by the process of self-discovery: Who am I? What will I become? Do I fit in? As you age, you begin to have a better understanding of your talents, your strengths and weaknesses, and what works for you and what does not. It is during our youth that we struggle to find ourselves; many will try to be something there are not. There is a sense of fulfillment that comes from finding ourselves, which can only come as a result of growing older.

With age comes wisdom. Wisdom is gained from experience. It only makes sense that the older you are the more experience you have gained. How often have you heard someone say, “I wish I would have known that when I was younger.” The statement implies that we make plenty of mistakes during our youth due to a lack of experience. It is through our experiences (growing older) that we learn life’s lessons. The “Good Book” tells us how valuable wisdom really is: “For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.” – Proverbs 8:11.

So there you have it – If you are one of those people who are chasing after the “Fountain of Youth,” look no further. Ponce de Leon never found the “magical fountain” and neither will you. Stop trying to fight what is natural – growing older. Rather, enjoy all the benefits of what aging has to offer. Sure, you may have lost some hair, your hearing, and even muscle mass, but to me, it is more than worth it to grow stronger in both mind and spirit.

***
It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

The Big Game

"I can't imagine a person becoming a success who doesn't give this game of life everything he's got."
~Walter Cronkite

***
Super Bowl XXLVIII, “The Big Game,” features the Denver Broncos versus the Seattle Seahawks.  Friends and family will gather together to watch the “The Big Game.”  Parties, delectable food, refreshing beverages, and an all-around good time are the staple of Super Bowl Sunday.  Super Bowl Sunday highlights the two best teams in professional football squaring off and an exposition of entertaining television commercials.  No other media event gets more media coverage than the Super Bowl.  The Super Bowl really is a “big event” on a “big stage” and has earned the name, “The Big Game.”

Not so fast, there is another game that is much bigger than the Super Bowl.  This game does not have pigskin, a state-of-the-art stadium, or goal posts.  It’s time is not measured by quarters and the outcome is not determined by points scored.  A win-loss record does not determine who gets to play.  There are no playoffs or a process of elimination.   In this “big game,” each and every one of us is required to play.   It’s an exclusive game; a game all our own.  We are directly responsible for its outcome.  This big game is the “game of life, ” and there is no bigger game! 

Just like the Super Bowl, the “game of life” requires a game plan and execution of that game plan.  Successful execution of that game plan requires hard work, focus, and passion and belief.  You can bet that both the Broncos and the Seahawks have worked tirelessly designing a game plan.  They have analyzed their strengths and weaknesses and that of their opponent.  The players and coaches understand that just showing doesn't guarantee victory.  Winning takes a well-designed and well-executed game plan.  

In the biggest game you’ll ever play, do you have a well-designed game plan or are you just showing up?   Have you taken the time to analyze your strengths and weaknesses?  Do you have a plan to maximize your strengths and improve upon your weaknesses?   One of the biggest mistakes people make is not taking the time to both design and execute a game plan for their own life.  Be it known, in five, ten, twenty years from now, life’s journey will take you somewhere.   Wouldn't you prefer to arrive at a well-designed destination instead of arriving just somewhere?  Most people do not take enough time to plan their lives.  Yet, they’ll spend weeks planning and fretting over their next vacation.  I just don’t get that!  The Broncos and the Seahawks wouldn't dare compete without a game plan, and neither should you! 

Once a game plan has been devised, the coaches, players, and all those associated with the team must go to work executing the plan.  This is where the hard work comes in.  Long hours, repetition, toil and sweat become the mainstay.  Nothing comes easy and there are no built-in shortcuts.  Successful people are disciplined.  They are willing to work hard; giving up immediate gratification in the here in and now, for much greater benefit in the future.   They understand that the most successful people are working when everyone is sleeping.  Are you working hard in the “game of life?” The Broncos and the Seahawks wouldn't dare compete without putting in long hours and working hard, and neither should you.

With all of the media hype surrounding such a big event it would be easy to get distracted and lose focus.   Coaches and players know that maintaining focus and success go hand-in-hand.   If a player or a coach allows an outside distraction to cause them to lose focus, it affects the way they think and feel; inevitably affecting their performance.  You cannot give 100% to a task at hand, if 1%, 5%, 10%... is somewhere else.   Do you allow outside influences to distract you and cause you to lose focus?  Do you allow people to have a negative influence on you?  Do you complain about things?  Do you get caught up in the lives of others?   Life is full of static (interferences.)  It’s static that will cause you to lose focus. Much of the static in our lives is by our own doing.  For the most part, we have control over what we allow to influence of lives.  Rid yourself of all the unnecessary static in your life and maintain your focus on that which is truly important in your life.  The Broncos and Seahawks wouldn't dare compete with a lack of focus, and neither should you.

The cornerstone of success is passion and belief.  You can’t have one without the other.  The Broncos and the Seahawks would not have made it the Super Bowl without both.  Passion is the insatiable want.  Belief is the unshakable thought.   At the beginning of the year, if the Broncos believed they could win the Super Bowl, but didn't have the passion to go along with it, they never would have put in the necessary work to get them to the “Big Game.”  It’s an attitude of “Yea, we’re sure we can do this, but it’s just not that important to work that hard – so why start.”  If the Seahawks had the want to get to the” big game,” but did not believe it to be possible, they may have started the season strong, but would have given up when things got tough.  It’s an attitude, “we want this, but it’s just not possible - so why keep trying.”  Do you bring both passion and belief to the game of life?   The Broncos and the Seahawks wouldn't dare compete without passion and belief, and neither should you.

This year it’s Super Bowl XLVIII.  Next year, it’s Super Bowl XLIX and it too will be called, “The Big Game.”   The “Big Game” is only played once a year.  But remember, there is a much bigger game being played right now and it’s not just played once a year.   This game is played each and every day.  It’s the “game of life” and it’s the biggest game you’ll ever be a part of.  The best part of this game is you get to play the entire game, make the rules, and call and run all of the plays.  Hence, you get to determine its outcome.  Bear in mind though, this game will not last forever.   Someday, there will be a final tick of the clock and when it’s over it’s over.  There will be no second chances, no overtime, no next game, no next season.  So my question to you: when the clock expires on your game, will you be declared a winner?  

I cannot predict who will win Super Bowl XLVII, or any other game for that matter, with any scientific accuracy.  But, what I can predict is that if you have a well-designed game plan, work hard, remain focused and possess passion and belief, you’ll have a great shot of winning in the “game of life.” If you want a sure bet on winning the game, no questions asked,   simply invite the Good Lord to join your team!  

Enjoy “The Big Game” and more importantly, always enjoy the “Bigger game!”

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

How an Optimist Sees it

“The optimist sees the opportunity in every danger; the pessimist see the danger in every opportunity.”

~Winston Churchill

***

A man came home to find his young son in the backyard with a baseball bat and a ball. He was practicing his hitting by throwing the ball up in the air and then swinging at it.

"Watch me, Dad," the boy yelled to his father. "I can hit the ball a mile." The boy threw the ball up in the air, took a mighty swing ... and missed. "That's okay," said the boy. "It's only strike one. Watch this next one, because I'm going to knock the cover off the ball."

Again the boy tossed the ball up in the air, and missed "Strike two," the boy called out. "But that's okay. It only takes one good swing to hit it out of the park. And that's just what I'm going to do; you just watch Dad!"

With that, the boy carefully threw the ball up in the air, took his biggest swing yet…and missed it again. "Strike three!" he yelled. His father, quick to console his son, put his arm around his son and said “Son you can’t get a hit every time. The son smiled at his father and said, “I know that dad, I’m just glad that I’m a great pitcher.”

The boy represents the epitome of optimism. One definition of optimism is “an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome.” In short, it is “looking for silver lining.” Some believe that the optimist is in denial; they live in a “Pollyanna” world. Nothing could be further from the truth. The optimist is aware that problems exist. However, they simply choose to believe that problems become opportunities. They understand that they will face hard times. But, they have a steadfast belief that whatever the problem is, they shall overcome. They acknowledge the negative, but focus on the positive. They too haven reasons to complain, but find a way to smile.

Being optimistic or pessimistic is a choice. It is all about attitude. You see, because optimists expect good, they constantly look for the good and eventually find it. Hence, the attitude is continually reinforced. When something bad happens to an optimist, they “look for the silver lining.” They know that the good is not likely to be evident right away; rather, it may take years before it is manifested. The optimist is diligent and patient. The storms clouds have to pass before the sun can shine. But, the sun will shine!

Research has shown that optimists achieve more and are healthier than pessimists. It takes a lot of mental energy to perpetuate a pessimistic state. “The sky is falling” philosophy of life generates negative emotions; such as worry, fear and, anxiety. These emotions elicit the stress response. The stress response, when chronically activated, wears down the body’s immune system, making a person more susceptible to illness and left feeling chronically fatigued. Charles Spurgeon said it best. "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength."

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Remember the difference between optimism and pessimism is determined by your thoughts. It is difference between positive thinking and negative thinking. Since you control your thoughts you are choosing whether you see the “glass as half empty or the glass as is half full.”

If you are a pessimist, today is the day to begin the transformation from negative thinking to positive thinking. Positive thinking will do so much more for you than negative thinking. If you are not convinced, try this exercise: take out a piece of paper and write down all of the benefits you derive from negative thinking. I’m pretty optimistic that you will not have much to write.

***
It’s your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD