“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward
into growth or step back into safety.”
- Abraham Maslow
***
You’ve been robbed! However, there is no sense in calling
the police. You see, not only are you the victim, but you’re the perpetrator
too. You might ask, “How can that be so?” A victim is a person who suffers
harm. A perpetrator is a person who carries out a harmful act. Hence, you
become both a victim and perpetrator when you allow fear to take hold in your
life and rob you of living a happy, exciting, and fulfilled life.
Fear is a powerful and primitive human emotion. It’s
actually intended to serve us by alerting us to the presence of real danger.
The innate, physiological response to a fearful situation is referred to as the
“fight or flight response.” When confronted with a fearful situation the body
engages in a readied state to either fight or flee.
When you allow the fear of failure, the fear of commitment,
and/or the fear of rejection to “rob” you, you are the person committing the
harmful act. When you choose to “flee” (avoid) a fearful situation, you become
a victim and remain a victim each time you “flee” the situation. Although
“fleeing” from the fear of failure, the fear of commitment, and/or the fear of
rejection may seem like the safe thing to do, it’s actually detrimental;
detrimental to your personal growth and development. You see, real personal
growth and development will take place when you “step outside your comfort
zone.” The “comfort zone” is a safe place. It’s everything you’ve known and
have experienced. It is predictable! That’s why it is called the “comfort
zone.” Uncertainty lurks outside the “comfort zone.” The further you venture
from your “comfort zone” the more fear you're likely to encounter. However, in
return, when you venture outside your comfort zone, you'll learn things about
yourself that you never knew, you’ll experience opportunities that you never
knew existed, and you’ll meet all kinds of interesting and diverse people.
Researchers at the University of Cincinnati found that 85%
percent of what we worry about never happens. Moreover, the researchers found
that 79% of people handle the 15% that does happen in ways that turn the
situation around or teach a very valuable life lesson.
Research has demonstrated that the stress hormone, cortisol, which is released during stressful/fearful situations, can interfere with cognitive functioning (impairs memory and learning), emotional states (increase the risk of depression and mental illness), and physiological processes (lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart disease).
So, if research has demonstrated that the much of what we fear never happens (and what does happens, people generally handle well) and it has demonstrated the damage caused to the body by elevated levels of cortisol, why do we continue being a perpetrator and a victim?
A happy, exciting, and fulfilled life awaits all of us. We
just have to create it. It’s time to arrest the perpetrator within you so that
you’re no longer a victim to the fear of failure, fear of commitment, or fear
of rejection. You can arrest the “perp” within you by stepping outside your
comfort zone and facing your fears head-on!
Here's to taking a step forward!
It's your life: live it, love it, and celebrate it!
MJD
