People Will Talk!

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
- Steven Covey

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I’ve found that people like to talk. And, boy do they like to talk about others! During my younger years it would bother me when I learned that people were talking about me. I would think to myself, “You don’t even know me” or “You really do even know all of the facts.” However, I’ve also found that with age wisdom cometh! Thank the Lord! Wisdom is the integration of knowledge and understanding gained through life’s experiences.

Experience has taught me that people will talk behind my back. Wisdom tells me that they are behind my back for a reason.

Experience has taught me that people will harshly criticize me. Wisdom tells me their opinion is not my reality.

Experience has taught me a person’s perception of me is a reflection of them. Wisdom tells me how I react is a reflection of me.

Experience has taught me that I create a self-imposed prison of fear and anxiety when I’m bothered by what others say (think) about me. Wisdom has taught me what other people think of me is none of my business.

It is human nature to want to be liked and respected. It is important to me to earn the respect of others and I try hard to earn that respect. However, experience has taught me that for one reason or another there will always be people who do not like me, and, therefore, will utter mean things about me. Wisdom tells me to focus on what I think about myself; for the rest will take care of itself.

So one might think that I do not care about what anyone says about me. That is the furthest from the truth. Experience has taught me that I need to care about what is said about me by the people I love and respect. Wisdom tells me to listen and learn for they have my best interest at heart.

Yes, experience has taught me that people will talk. And, people will talk about me; some for my betterment and some for my degradation. Wisdom tells me that when it comes down to it I really should only care about what God thinks of me.

So, go ahead and just be you! Stop worrying about what others think or say about you; because in the words of Dr. Suess, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

It's your life: live it, love it, and celebrate it!
MJD

Love Don't Judge

“Judging a person does not define who they are … it defines who you are.”

- Unknown

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Why are we so quick to judge others?  Why do some seem to focus in on the inadequacies, misfortunes, and failures of others?  Is it because judging makes us feel better about ourselves?  Statements like, “I would never do anything like that” or “He/She needs to grow-up” is passing judgment.  Passing judgment derives from a comparison of personal values and standards.  “Since I would never do anything like that,” that makes me better than you.  Since “He/She needs to grow-up” that means I’m much more mature than he/she.

It is human nature to compare ourselves to others.  Comparing ourselves to people we admire or aspire to be like can be a healthy comparison if the comparison serves as a catalyst for self-improvement.  Comparing ourselves to people less fortunate than us can be a healthy comparison if the comparison leads to action designed to help those who are less fortunate.  Passing judgment on another is different than making a comparison of another.   Passing judgment means that we have a strong dislike or disapproval of someone or something they did.  When we pass judgment on others, we put ourselves in a position of superiority over others, which generates a false sense that we are entitled to be their judge.

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Good Lord speaks to us about judging others (Matthew 7: 1-5) First,  we are told if we judge others, we are certain to be judged, and our judgment will be the same manner that we judge others.  Next, we are admonished about judging others when our “own house is not in order.”

There is only one true Judge.  And all of us, someday, we stand before that Judge.  The Judge has warned, “Judge, lest not be judged.”  This same Judge has told us that the second greatest commandment is “To love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31).  So, if our Judge has instructed us to love our neighbor and refrain from passing judgment, to that I say, “Love, don't judge - because love doesn’t judge.” 

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD