He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother!

“But I’m strong, strong enough to carry him. He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.”
-- performed by The Hollies (1969)

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Are you strong? Are you in shape? Can you run a mile? How about running a ½ mile carrying another person? Sound like a lot of work? Not for Andover High School cross-country runner, Josh Ripley. This past September, Ripley was competing with his team in the Applejack Invite in Lakeville Minnesota. 261 competitors had entered the race. For Ripley, the race started out like any other race; ordinary until about a mile into the race when Josh heard the sound of someone in distress. After rounding a corner, Josh found fellow competitor, Mark Paulauskas, bleeding profusely and clutching his ankle. Paulauskas had been spiked (cleated) and was unable to walk. The runners ahead of Ripley were either too focused to notice Paulauskas or simply chose to ignore him.

The 6’5” Ripley scooped up the 5’5” Lakeville freshman into his arm and began running with him. Ripley asked Paulauskas if he could say a prayer for him. Paulauskas agreed. Paulauskas said that Ripley kept trying to assure Paulauskas that he would be alright. After running with Paulauskas for almost a ½ mile, Ripley was able to hand off the injured freshman to the Lakeville coach.

Ripley was in last place and considerably far behind the other runners when Paulauskas was handed off to Paulauskas' coach. Filled with adrenaline and a competitive spirit, Josh Ripley was determined to finish the race. Finish the race he did; he passed 50 runners on his way to the finish line. Ripley finished 211 out of 261 competitors.

Mark Paulauskas was taken to an emergency room and was given twenty stitches to close the wound. Paulauskas said he was incredibly grateful for Ripley’s act of compassion and selflessness. Some are lauding Ripley as a hero; a label that Ripley quickly discounts. Ripley said, “I did nothing special. I really feel I just did the right thing. Any of my teammates would have done the same thing. It wasn't an act of heroism. It was an act of kindness that I know I needed to accomplish."

Josh Ripley's story sounds familiar; it is a modern day Good Samaritan story. The runners who passed by Paulauskas are like the priest and Levite who ignored the injured traveler. Ripley is the Good Samaritan who "being moved with compassion" stopped to render assistance to a fellow man in need. (Luke 10:25-37)

I ask you: How many times have you turned a blind eye when someone was in need? With our busy lives it is not difficult to offer a variety of excuses why we cannot lend a hand to someone in need: "I'm too busy," "It will make me late," or "someone else will help them." What about the occasions where we were too preoccupied with our lives that we did not even notice someone in need? How many times have we missed the chance to do what Josh Ripley referred to as "The right thing?" Stopping to help someone in need is always the right thing; it may not be the easiest or the most popular thing to do; it might even disrupt your plans. But, one thing is for certain, the right thing is always the right thing to do. Ripley stopped to do the right thing. It most certainly cost him a chance to win the race. However, the true winner of the event was not the person who crossed the finish line first; the true winner was a competitor by the name of Ripley.

Today, take time to step outside of your world. When you do so, you will find plenty of opportunities for you to come to the aid of another. Remember, demonstrating compassion not only benefits a person in need; it makes you a better person and in turn the world a becomes a better place to live.

His welfare is my concern
no burden is he to bear
we'll get there

For I know
He would not encumber me
He aint heavy, he's my brother

- The Hollies

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It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Live Like You Were Dying

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”
~ Abraham Lincoln

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In 2005 Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Inc., addressed the graduating class at Stanford University. During his commencement address, Jobs talked about work, life, and death. Yesterday (10/5/11), the world lost Steve Jobs: an inventor, a pioneer, a visionary, and a world changer. Steve Jobs died at the age of 56 after a battle with cancer.

The year prior to his commencement address Jobs was diagnosed with a rare form of pancreatic cancer. Below is a portion of his address where Jobs speaks to the students about death.

"When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: 'If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me.

Remembering that I’ll die is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life."

"It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true."

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Steve Jobs - thank you for following your heart and intuition. You’ve truly changed the world! And, thank you for reminding all of us that our time here is limited, and how important it is to live like you were dying!

Heaven’s Headlines: The Pearly Gates Have Gone Digital – Welcome Steve Jobs!
Rest in Peace – Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Life's Not Fair

"Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not." ~Oscar Wilde I hear quite often, "That's not fair." I hear it from children and adults alike. What makes us think that all things have to be fair? It bothers me that such disillusioned thinking has such a grasp on our society today. The other day, I heard two parents talking how it wasn’t fair that at a sports banquet only a couple of athletes were recognized for their performance during the season. Well, not everything is intended to be fair. “Life is not fair!” The sooner one understands this concept the better off they will be. I grew up in an era when we all knew that life was not fair nor was supposed to be. People were recognized and rewarded based on their attitude, work ethic and ultimately their performance. Rewards were earned! I’ve found in today's culture, children participating in youth sports get rewarded regardless of their performance, effort, and attitude. That wasn’t the case when I was young; there were no juice boxes and snacks for just showing up and, most certainly not, if you were a member of a losing team. When you lost; you lost, period! The only thing you might get from a loss was a lecture from your coach or your dad on what you and/or your team needed to do to win your next game. In the early 70’s, I played Little League baseball. The baseball facility had a concession stand where players from the winning teams would gather for their just reward – a treat from their coach and/or parents. No player from a losing team would venture near the concession stand; a reward after a loss, unthinkable! That’s just the way it was; never once did we think, "That's not fair." We understood winning brought rewards; losing brought nothing. We did not complain; we accepted the reality that our performance and ultimately winning would determine the reward. Understanding the “Life’s not fair,” principle only made us want to work harder. I understand the "rewards for participation" philosophy. It is about protecting the child’s ego; it is about making sure a child feels good about them self and the experience. While I believe that a positive self-image is critical for happiness and success, I also believe that rewarding a child merely for "showing up" sends the wrong message. According to Behavioral psychologists, behavior is learned through conditioning (rewards and punishment). Yes, children playing youth sports should be recognized and rewarded for their performance. They should also be recognized for how they embrace sportsmanship and teamwork, and for their attitude and work ethic. Participating in sports can teach children valuable life lessons. One very valuable lesson is that one does not become successful "by just showing up." The "rewards for participation" philosophy leads to a sense of entitlement. What type of lesson do we teach a child when he/she misses practices; complains about practice drills/exercises; does not put forth their best effort; is selfish and does not get along well with teammates; yet, the child plays the same amount of time as the other players and is rewarded for his/her participation or lack thereof. We are teaching entitlement! Whatever happened to the hard lessons of "You reap what you sow," or "You only get what you deserve?" So what did my youth sports experience teach me? It taught me that "Life's not fair." It taught me that if I want to be successful (win) in the baseball world, the academic world, the business world, or in any "world" for that matter, I need to work incredibly hard and never give up. It taught me that the only thing I am entitled to is that which I truly deserve. As I look back, I can say that I'm glad there were no treats when we lost a little league baseball game, for it taught me one of life’s most valuable lessons; that being, "Life's not fair" nor should it be! It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it! MJD