Until Mike Likes Mike...

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
~ Buddha

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We become what we think about. Our thoughts control our actions. If we think positively, we get positive results. Negative thinking produces negative results. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t. Put simply, failure to believe means failure to achieve

Belief is the foundation for all achievement. Belief comes from having self-confidence and/or self-esteem. Self confidence is task related. It comes from repetition and mastery of a specific thing. The more you do something, the better you should get at it. The better you get, the more self confident you become. Self-esteem on the other hand is a way of being. Self esteem is about liking oneself. It’s not a narcissistic, “Hey look at me,” type being; it’s about taking pride in yourself and having self-respect.

Those that posses both high self-esteem and self-confidence are no doubt primed to succeed. Those that possess high self-esteem, but low self-confidence may not necessarily succeed at a given task, but they’ll try anyway, and, will walk away with a positive experience. They know that the outcome of a specific task does not define who they are. Regardless of the outcome, the fact that they tried is personally satisfying. Moreover, they’ll look for the lessons to be learned from the outcome. The lessons will be used for self-development, which in turn fosters higher self esteem.

What about those people who have high self-confidence, but low self esteem. Professional athletes who fall from grace are often characterized by high self confidence and low self-esteem. Perhaps one of the best examples of a athlete falling from grace is Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson was a phenomenal prize fighter (boxer). He had great self- confidence as a boxer. Although Tyson’s self-confidence earned him a heavyweight championship and millions of dollars, his life was in shambles. Mike Tyson did not like Mike Tyson. Tyson did everything possible to sabotage his life. Mike Tyson earned over 300 million dollars over the course of his career; yet, he had to file bankruptcy. In addition, He was convicted and sent to prison in State of Indiana for a sexual assault offense.

When Tyson officially retired from boxing, he was quoted as saying, “My whole life has been a waste, I’m a failure.” Upon his retirement, Tyson attempted to get his life back on track; that is, until he was arrested again, this time for drunk driving and possession of narcotics. The man that people thought had everything; in actuality had nothing. Self-confidence without self-esteem can lead to material success; but will never lead to personal success and fulfillment. Until Mike likes Mike and develops a higher level of self-esteem, his life will continue to self-destruct.

How about you? Do you really like yourself? How's your self-esteem? The first step in developing higher self-esteem is accepting who you are you and where you are at in your life. It's about accepting responsibility for where you're at and moving forward. It's not about placing blame; blaming others or blaming circumstances. Placing blame allows you to shirk the responsibility for the necessity to make a change, and only perpetuates the current state of affairs. Next, it's about letting go of the heavy burdens of the past: the failures, the rejections and the embarrassments. It's about realizing what's done is done and that history cannot be changed. It's about living in the present and having faith that a better future awaits you. Developing higher self-esteem comes from believing that God created you as a unique person. It's impossible to develop self-esteem if your are denying your own uniqueness by trying to be like someone else. Shakespeare said it best in Hamlet, when Polonius said to Laertes, his son, "To thine Own Self Be True."

Tyson's rise and fall in the boxing profession teaches us a valuable lesson about life. Self-confidence is a situational belief that results in situational results. It speaks to the "state of affairs." Self-esteem, on the other hand, is a pervasive belief that defines your character, and your character will define your life. Self-esteem speaks to a "state of being."

It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

A Lesson on Limitations

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
—Helen Keller
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Helen Keller was born June 27, 1880 in Tuscumbia, Alabama. Helen lived an active, normal life until nineteen months of age when she developed a high fever and became seriously ill. Although doctors did not offer much hope that Helen would live, Helen survived. Her illness left her blind and deaf.

As a young child, Helen acted out frequently. Her behavior was often so aggressive and violent that her family contemplated placing her in an institution. Helen’s mother refused to institutionalize her, and began seeking out people who might be able to help Helen.

Helen resisted communicating with others until Martha Washington, the daughter of the Keller's family cook, taught Helen how to communicate through sign language. Although Anne Sullivan is referred to as Helen’s “miracle worker,” it was young Martha Washington who first taught Helen that she could communicate with her outside world. Most communication specialists agree that the young Martha Washington’s had a profound influence in Helen Keller’s success.

At the age of six, Helen was introduced to Anne Sullivan. Anne Sullivan was a former student at the Perkins Institute for the Blind. Anne Sullivan, once completely blind herself, was able to gain partial vision after a series of medical operations. Anne was hired to be Helen’s teacher and continued to serve as Helen’s teacher, guardian and close companion until Anne's death in 1936.

At the age of twenty, Helen Keller enrolled in Radcliffe College. Four years later, she became the first blind person to earn a bachelors degree from a college. Helen Keller achieved many other extraordinary things in her lifetime, including: becoming a famous speaker and author; founding the Helen Keller International, a nonprofit organization for for vision, health and nutrition; helped found the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU); traveled to 39 countries; and On September 14, 1964, President Lyndon B, Johnson awared her the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the nation’s highest civilian awards. In 1965, she was elected to the Women’s Hall of Fame at the New York World’s Fair. Helen Keller passed away at the age of 87 on June 1, 1968.

It’s true that Helen Keller success can be attributed to those who had an influence in her life; mainly her mother for not giving up on her; The young Martha Washington for teaching her communication was possible; and Anne Sullivan for inspiring her and teaching her that nothing was impossible. One can never overlook the value of mentors, teachers and supporters when looking at the success someone has achieved. No successful person has ever gone it alone. However, all the support and guidance in the world will be to no avail, if no will exists. It was Helen Keller’s desire to learn and her courage to overcome her physical limitations that was the driving force in her success. Helen refused to allow her physical limitation to foster self-limiting beliefs. Ultimately, she knew that her ability to communicate, read and learn depended upon what she believed to be possible.

How about you? Do you have the courage to face your limitations? Courage is acting in the face of fear. You can bet that Helen Keller had significant fears. Helen lived in a world of darkness. How frightful that must be to a young child. Helen’s physical limitations were beyond her control. Yet, she possessed the will to overcome her limitations. All too often, our limitations are not beyond or control. Rather, they are self-imposed. We’ve created these limitations by our self-talk. We’ve talked ourselves into limiting our full potential. Our negative self talk causes us to limit what we can we experience, which in turn, limits our ability to learn new things and grow. Our self-imposed restrictions generally originate from fear; fear that if played out, would be proven to be unfounded.

Helen Keller demonstrated to the world that limitations are only limitations if you allow them to be so. When you begin doubting yourself about whether you can or can't do something, take some time think about a little blind, deaf girl from Alabama who refused to limit herself and in turn moved a nation.

It's Your Life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD