Until Mike Likes Mike...

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
~ Buddha

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We become what we think about. Our thoughts control our actions. If we think positively, we get positive results. Negative thinking produces negative results. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t. Put simply, failure to believe means failure to achieve

Belief is the foundation for all achievement. Belief comes from having self-confidence and/or self-esteem. Self confidence is task related. It comes from repetition and mastery of a specific thing. The more you do something, the better you should get at it. The better you get, the more self confident you become. Self-esteem on the other hand is a way of being. Self esteem is about liking oneself. It’s not a narcissistic, “Hey look at me,” type being; it’s about taking pride in yourself and having self-respect.

Those that posses both high self-esteem and self-confidence are no doubt primed to succeed. Those that possess high self-esteem, but low self-confidence may not necessarily succeed at a given task, but they’ll try anyway, and, will walk away with a positive experience. They know that the outcome of a specific task does not define who they are. Regardless of the outcome, the fact that they tried is personally satisfying. Moreover, they’ll look for the lessons to be learned from the outcome. The lessons will be used for self-development, which in turn fosters higher self esteem.

What about those people who have high self-confidence, but low self esteem. Professional athletes who fall from grace are often characterized by high self confidence and low self-esteem. Perhaps one of the best examples of a athlete falling from grace is Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson was a phenomenal prize fighter (boxer). He had great self- confidence as a boxer. Although Tyson’s self-confidence earned him a heavyweight championship and millions of dollars, his life was in shambles. Mike Tyson did not like Mike Tyson. Tyson did everything possible to sabotage his life. Mike Tyson earned over 300 million dollars over the course of his career; yet, he had to file bankruptcy. In addition, He was convicted and sent to prison in State of Indiana for a sexual assault offense.

When Tyson officially retired from boxing, he was quoted as saying, “My whole life has been a waste, I’m a failure.” Upon his retirement, Tyson attempted to get his life back on track; that is, until he was arrested again, this time for drunk driving and possession of narcotics. The man that people thought had everything; in actuality had nothing. Self-confidence without self-esteem can lead to material success; but will never lead to personal success and fulfillment. Until Mike likes Mike and develops a higher level of self-esteem, his life will continue to self-destruct.

How about you? Do you really like yourself? How's your self-esteem? The first step in developing higher self-esteem is accepting who you are you and where you are at in your life. It's about accepting responsibility for where you're at and moving forward. It's not about placing blame; blaming others or blaming circumstances. Placing blame allows you to shirk the responsibility for the necessity to make a change, and only perpetuates the current state of affairs. Next, it's about letting go of the heavy burdens of the past: the failures, the rejections and the embarrassments. It's about realizing what's done is done and that history cannot be changed. It's about living in the present and having faith that a better future awaits you. Developing higher self-esteem comes from believing that God created you as a unique person. It's impossible to develop self-esteem if your are denying your own uniqueness by trying to be like someone else. Shakespeare said it best in Hamlet, when Polonius said to Laertes, his son, "To thine Own Self Be True."

Tyson's rise and fall in the boxing profession teaches us a valuable lesson about life. Self-confidence is a situational belief that results in situational results. It speaks to the "state of affairs." Self-esteem, on the other hand, is a pervasive belief that defines your character, and your character will define your life. Self-esteem speaks to a "state of being."

It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD