Give and Take

"A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses."
-- Chinese Proverb

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You have probably heard a hundred times before that a relationship should be “give and take.”

I’m not sold on the concept of “give and take.” The concept promotes the expectation of receiving something (take) from what you give. Giving should be from the heart, because it is the right thing to do. If you are not giving from the heart, then you are actually engaged in the taking process. Taking is self-centered. When someone decides to give because they feel guilty, they are not giving from the heart. They are giving to feel less uncomfortable, less guilty. Hence, they are engaged in the taking process. Their giving is about them getting something out of it; less guilt.

Worse yet is giving with the expectation of receiving something from somebody in return. When you are motivated to give because you expect something in return, you are taking. You might convince yourself that you are giver, but you are not. In fact, you are manipulator; you manipulate a circumstance so that you can be a taker.

The Great Teacher said, “It is blessed to give than to receive.” To be blessed means to be highly favored or fortunate. The root word of fortunate is fortune. And, to have a fortune is to have much. Your fortune may not be made up of material things. No, your fortune will be made up of something much more valuable; character. Character is the one thing that no one can take away from you. The late John Wooden said, “You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.”

So enough with the “give and take” philosophy; Rather, adopt the “give and be blessed” philosophy. If you are in a give and take relationship, it implies that a score is being kept; “I’ve done this much giving, it is about my turn to take.” It is time to throw away the scorecards. Give without the expectation of anything in return and you will get more than you could ever imagine.

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It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD