Be Careful What You Ask For

Be careful of what you set your heart on, for it will surely be yours.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Feelings and thoughts will determine our actions. Your heart serves as an interchange between thoughts and feelings. Thus, the heart becomes a powerful mechanism for determining what you get in life. Emerson's quote is much like the popular quote, "Be careful what you ask for." How many times have you wanted something so badly, only to be disappointed with the outcome? It’s likely that heart was misaligned with your value system. Our values are those things that we deem important, and should influence our behavior. Unfortunately, this is not always so. We are often influenced by the media, popular culture or others who do not have our best interest at heart. These influences propel us to go after the things we think are important to us, yet are inconsistent with our value system. We may get what we want, but often we are left feeling empty and shallow.

What are the costs when one searches for something that is inconsistent with their values: anxiety, depression and disappointment? How can one be content or happy with a result that is incongruent with what they deem as important? Picture the man who claims to value family life, but spends the majority of his waking hours at work. How can he be content or happy? Or, picture the woman who claims to value her faith, but spends little time practicing it. Can she be content or happy? Does the man really value his family? Does the woman really value her faith? Perhaps, but it is likely the man and woman are allowing outside sources to influence their value system. Often times, the influence starts subtle, but over a period of time, the outside sources take root in your life and sabotage your values.

When we lose focus of our core values, the outside influences can surely bring about unintended consequences. A powerful example of this is the betrayal of Jesus by Judas Iscariot. Judas’ love of money prompted him to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. The “Good Book” tells us that once Judas had realized what he had done, he was filled with remorse and tried to return the money. After the chief priests threw Judas out of the temple, he went off and hanged himself. Judas had set his heart on acquiring money. He got wanted he wanted, but did not like the person that he had become.

With a new year upon us, this is a good time to spend some time reflecting on what is really important to you. Make a list of your values. Next, take a look back at 2010 and determine if your actions are consistent with your values. If your actions and values are inconsistent, make a list of the things that you can do to bring your actions in line with your values.

Be careful what you ask for – you just might get it. Remember, you’ll never be disappointed if you stay true to your values.

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It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD