The Exam

“Life is the most difficult exam. Some people fail because they try to copy others, not realizing everyone has different questions.  ” –Author Unknown

30-Second Timeout Talk:

                       

Life is one great big exam.  Every day we must answer questions.  Some questions don’t require much thought and we can answer them almost instinctively; while other questions can be very complex and require a great deal of careful consideration.  Just like any other test our answers (words & actions) will determine our results. 

Charles Caleb Colton is credited with saying, “Imitation is the highest form of flattery.”  It’s perfectly alright to espouse the redeeming qualities of people we admire.  Who would not want to espouse the way Mother Teresa’s demonstrated love and compassion? How about the leadership qualities and visioning of Dr. Martin Luther King?  What about the qualities of your favorite teacher, favorite coach or favorite boss.  We all need role models and people we admire.  The examples they have set forth should help us in our journey of becoming the person we were designed to be.  There is and will only be one Mother Teresa, one Dr. Martin Luther King, and one you.  So be you! 

Life is a big exam and the questions on the exam are different for each and every one of us.  The Good Lord created your exam specifically for you.  Moreover, he’s created you with a unique set of DNA.  DNA designed to equip you with getting high marks on your exam.  So it does you no good to try and copy (be just like someone else) others.  Their exam is different – with a different set of questions and designed specifically for them.  Always remember, you are unique; unique purposely!  Mike Robbins says it best, "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken

Here are my tests taking tips:

1. Be self-aware.  Know who you are and determine the person that you want to become.
2. Understand what is important to you and why it is important.
3. Don’t be in hurry – you have the rest of your life to complete your exam. 
4. Be willing to change.  You can always change your answers.  Progress comes from change.
5. Live in the moment.  Appreciate the people and the experiences that that are occurring in the present moment. 
6. Love don’t judge.  Since everyone has a different exam and you don’t know their questions, don’t judge them.  Instead, love them!  When you love others, you’ll easily find all the right answers to the questions your exam.  Love always prevails!  Remember, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (wrong answers).” 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV). 

Here’s to achieving 100% on your exam!  

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!

MJD

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You've Been Robbed!

“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.”

- Abraham Maslow

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You’ve been robbed! However, there is no sense in calling the police. You see, not only are you the victim, but you’re the perpetrator too. You might ask, “How can that be so?” A victim is a person who suffers harm. A perpetrator is a person who carries out a harmful act. Hence, you become both a victim and perpetrator when you allow fear to take hold in your life and rob you of living a happy, exciting, and fulfilled life.

Fear is a powerful and primitive human emotion. It’s actually intended to serve us by alerting us to the presence of real danger. The innate, physiological response to a fearful situation is referred to as the “fight or flight response.” When confronted with a fearful situation the body engages in a readied state to either fight or flee.

When you allow the fear of failure, the fear of commitment, and/or the fear of rejection to “rob” you, you are the person committing the harmful act. When you choose to “flee” (avoid) a fearful situation, you become a victim and remain a victim each time you “flee” the situation. Although “fleeing” from the fear of failure, the fear of commitment, and/or the fear of rejection may seem like the safe thing to do, it’s actually detrimental; detrimental to your personal growth and development. You see, real personal growth and development will take place when you “step outside your comfort zone.” The “comfort zone” is a safe place. It’s everything you’ve known and have experienced. It is predictable! That’s why it is called the “comfort zone.” Uncertainty lurks outside the “comfort zone.” The further you venture from your “comfort zone” the more fear you're likely to encounter. However, in return, when you venture outside your comfort zone, you'll learn things about yourself that you never knew, you’ll experience opportunities that you never knew existed, and you’ll meet all kinds of interesting and diverse people.

Researchers at the University of Cincinnati found that 85% percent of what we worry about never happens. Moreover, the researchers found that 79% of people handle the 15% that does happen in ways that turn the situation around or teach a very valuable life lesson.

Research has demonstrated that the stress hormone, cortisol, which is released during stressful/fearful situations, can interfere with cognitive functioning (impairs memory and learning), emotional states (increase the risk of depression and mental illness), and physiological processes (lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart disease).

So, if research has demonstrated that the much of what we fear never happens (and what does happens, people generally handle well) and it has demonstrated the damage caused to the body by elevated levels of cortisol, why do we continue being a perpetrator and a victim?

A happy, exciting, and fulfilled life awaits all of us. We just have to create it. It’s time to arrest the perpetrator within you so that you’re no longer a victim to the fear of failure, fear of commitment, or fear of rejection. You can arrest the “perp” within you by stepping outside your comfort zone and facing your fears head-on!

Here's to taking a step forward!

It's your life: live it, love it, and celebrate it!

MJD

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

"Other people are like a mirror which reflects back on us the image that we cast."

- Fulton J. Sheen

***

30-Second Timeout Talk:

When you look at other what do you see?  What are the things that you like or dislike about others?  You see, our view of the people in our world is actually a reflection of the way we view ourselves.

It’s easy to comprehend this notion when we see the positive traits in a person.  When we see the positive traits in others, it’s easy to embrace the concept that the positive traits we observe are a reflection of the traits we see in ourselves.  The concept is much more difficult to embrace when we see negative traits in others.   How could I possibly possess the same traits of people that annoy me? 

Look at it this way – our ego protects us from our true reality.  Nobody really wants to see them self in negative light.  It’s difficult to admit that we might have some work to do.  Hence, our ego projects these undesirable traits onto others.  You’re probably saying, “No way, I’m not like that.”  Oh but you are, you’re just not capable of seeing it because of projection.   Projection inhibits ownership!

  

You "can’t have your cake and eat it too": you can’t see a reflection of yourself in the people you admire and not see the reflection in those who annoy you.   If you want to see more positive reflections, embrace the fact that as humans we are imperfect – this includes you!  We all have work to do and growth should never stop.  No growth will ever occur until we take a good look at our life and take ownership of our shortcomings.  So the next time you have a negative reaction to someone don’t reflect and project;  instead, reflect and accept!

A mirror is an object that reflects an image of an object placed in front of it.  So when we look at others, remember that the reflection we see is intended to give us a glimpse of what our inner-self is really all about. 

Take a good, long, and deep look - Here’s to inner beauty!

It’s your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!

MJD

Everyone Has One

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice.”

- Steve Jobs

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30-Second Timeout:

There once was a farmer who took his grandson to town on a donkey.  The grandson rode the donkey while the grandfather walked alongside the donkey.  A man passed by and said, "Look at the selfish boy making his grandfather walk."  The grandfather heard the comment and took the boy off the donkey.   The grandfather began riding the donkey while his grandson walked along side.  Then someone said, "Look at that selfish man making that little boy walk while he sits and rides. Hearing that, the grandfather pulled the little boy up with him and they rode the donkey together. Then somebody said, "How cruel of that man and little boy to place such a heavy load on that donkey."  By the time they got to town the grandfather and the grandson were carrying the donkey. 

The point of the story is that no matter what you do you're not going to please everybody.  People will view things from their own perspective and they're certainly entitled to their own opinion.  Don't live your life trying to please others.  It a lose-lose situation.  You rob yourself of creating your own happiness based upon a strategy this is doomed to fail from the very start!  Take heed of the wisdom of Dr. Seuss, who said, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Remember, everyone has an opinion.  It is neither right nor wrong.  It is simply a characterization of a person or an event based upon one's own values, beliefs, and experiences.  Hence, their opinion is not your reality.  Yes, everyone has the right to their opinion and you have the right to ignore it!

It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!

MJD

The Price Tag

“The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.  Hard work is the price we must pay for success.  You can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price."

- Vince Lombardi

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30-Second Timeout Talk:

In the retail industry, prior to making a purchase, one examines the price tag affixed to the item.  Nowadays, if a price tag is missing one can easily scan the barcode to find the cost of the item.  When purchasing an item, one must first determine two things: how bad do they want the item and is the item worth the price.  You’ve done this before: because of a want or perceived want, you pick up an item for sale, examine the price tag and then walk away without the item in hand.  It’s simple logic; the price tag trumped the want!

Goal setting is similar to shopping!   First, you determine the degree of the want.  Once the want has been determined you must examine its price tag.  Is it worth it?
  

Anything worth pursuing comes with a price tag.  Often times, the price tag is high.  Generally, the more you want something the higher the cost.  It was Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra that said, “That which costs little is less valued.” Pursuing a goal will come at a cost to you (i.e., time, money, and effort). It also requires a trade-off.  The pursuit means you’ll likely have to give-up something, something that may be important to you.  Understand, although there is a price to pay,  there is no greater satisfaction than when the want trumps the price tag and the goal gets accomplished.
   

I write this not to discourage you from setting goals.  In fact, I encourage you to set goals, lofty ones at that. Michelangelo said, “The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." 

I couldn’t agree more with Mark Twain’s quote, “Throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover."  Goal setting should be like a voyage - Just make sure you check the price tag first!

It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Making a Difference

“It takes each of us to make a difference for all of us."
~ Jackie Mutcheson

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30-Second Timeout Talk

A boy was playing along the seashore when he noticed an elderly man off in the distance tossing things into the ocean.  Being curious, the boy stopped playing and walked toward the man.  As the boy approached the man, the boy noticed starfish everywhere on the sand.  The boy watched the elderly man pick up a starfish and gently toss it back into the ocean.  The young boy, being inquisitive, asked the man, “What are you doing?  The elderly man quietly said, “Trying to make a difference.”  The boy, still puzzled, responded, “but there are so many – what difference does it make saving a few of them?”  The elderly man didn’t say a word.  He bent down, picked up a starfish, tossed it back into the ocean and with a smile turned toward the boy and said, “It certainly makes a difference to that one.”   

Will you make a difference in someone's life today?  Or, will you choose to be apathetic – believing what difference will it make?   Reaching out to another always makes a difference.  It doesn’t have to be an act of grandeur.  It can be a simple as a friendly smile, a soft touch, or a kind word.   Bernard Meltzer, once said, “There is no better exercise for your heart than reaching down and helping to lift someone up."  

So today, make it a point to make a difference in another person’s life.  That difference will certainly make a difference in your life too! 

It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

The Right Thing

"Doing the right thing is not always easy and it’s not always popular, but isn’t enough that it's right.”
- Senora Ray

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30-Second Timeout Talk:

This morning I heard someone say, “Wow, that’s convenient!”  When something is convenient it requires less time and/or work.  In essence, convenience really means easier.  Who doesn’t want easier?   So convenience is a good thing, right?  Not necessarily - especially when doing the “easy thing” trumps doing the “right thing.”
   

Sometimes it’s more convenient for us to conceal the truth instead of telling the truth (the right thing).

Sometimes it’s more convenient for us to turn a blind eye to a person in need instead of offering assistance (the right thing).

Sometimes it’s more convenient for us to make excuses instead of accepting responsibility (the right thing).

Sometimes it’s more convenient for us to avoid challenges instead of confronting them head on (the right thing).

You see, the right thing is usually not the convenient thing.   Most often, the right thing is the hard thing.  It requires more time, effort and work on your part.
  

Understand that if you choose convenience over doing the right thing it will come at a cost to you.  Choosing the convenient thing over the right thing compromises your values and when you compromise your values, you begin to damage your character.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said. “No change in circumstances can repair a defect in character.  Hence, when making a choice always remember this - the right thing will always be the right thing!   Choose wisely!

It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!

MJD