Look Beyond

“It’s judgment that prevents us from seeing the good that lies beyond the appearance."
-- Wayne Dyer

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Kent Nerburn is a highly acclaimed author of several books. Being a well known author requires travel. One day while traveling across Canada on a train, Nerburn learned the value of withholding judgment. During the trip, he took notice of an elderly man whom the other passengers were clearly avoiding. The old man was talking with slurred speech and had an unstable gait. Nerburg, like the other passengers, assumed the elderly man was a common drunk.

Nonetheless, Nerburg decided to strike up a conversation with the “old drunk.” Almost Immediately, Nerburg could tell this man was not a drunkard. It was not long into the conversation that Nerburg learned that the old man was recovering from a stroke. The man sitting next to him was actually an engineer who had commandeered many trains on the very tracks they were traveling. For the remainder of the journey the two of them talked. Nerburg was absolutely fascinated by the stories and tales being told by the old man. What Nerburg anticipated to be a long, dull ride, suddenly became much shorter and enlightening.

At the end of their journey, the old man thanked Nerburg for doing what nobody else would do; talk to him. Nerburg thanked the old man for sharing his time and life stories with him. As Newburg walked away from the train station he could not help but feel, both enlightened and grateful for the opportunity to share a ride with an intelligent, wise and charming old man; the same man that the other passengers chose to avoid.

How about you? Do you look beyond, or do allow your initial perceptions to create your reality. Everyday we make assessments of people and things. Often times, we make these assessments without having accurate or complete information. We are quick to assess, and even quicker to judge.

Let Kent Nerburg’s story serve as a lesson for you. The next time you look at another person, look beyond what you first see; ignore the outside and focus on the inside. Instead of finding every reason to avoid someone, first choose to like them. Like first and ask questions later. We don’t give people a fair chance when we allow our assumptions, notions, and stereotypes to dictate our reality.

Human beings don’t like to be wrong. Hence, we look for ways to validate what we believe to be true. Because of this phenomenon, we trick ourselves into a false reality. We want to be right, but we couldn’t be more wrong. Nerburg’s story illustrates the point. Every other passenger on the train assumed the old man was a drunk. His speech and gait clearly gave it away. Because he was a drunk, they avoided him. The other passengers who would not give the old man the time of day easily became fatigued with a cross-county train ride that seemed to last forever. Not Nerburg, Nerburg felt refreshed! While the other passengers engaged in trivial matters to pass the time, Nerburg spent his time being amused and enlightened. I ask you, who was right?

Nerburg's story certainly highlights the classic idiom, "Never judge a book by its cover." Remember when you judge a book by its cover, you could be choosing to miss out on a masterpiece.

Look Beyond!

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It’s your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD