When Losing is a Good Thing

Your success or failure in life will not be decided by the number of setbacks you encounter, but rather how you react to them.
-Unknown
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Tonight our eighth-grade football team suffered its first defeat of the season, losing 12 – 8. We did not play a very good first half, which resulted in being down 6-0 at halftime. At halftime we told our players if you want to win, you have to believe you can; you have to have the expectation that you will win; and you have to play with passion and desire to turn your belief and expectation into a reality.

We came out and completely dominated the second half on both sides of football, until our opponent scored on a 95 yard touchdown run with 3 minutes remaining in the game. Our players, indeed, played the second half with passion and desire. We were a completely different team and it showed.

Needless to say, our players, coaches and parents were disappointed with the outcome of the game. We had it won. Unfortunately, big plays (95 yd touchdown run) are a part of football. And in some games, the better team does not win because of a big play or two.

When addressing the players at the end of the game, I told them how proud if was of them for they way they responded in the second half. Former college football coach, Lou Holtz once said, “How you respond to the challenge in the second half will determine what you become after the game, whether you are a winner or a loser.” Although the scoreboard did not declare us winners, our players’ effort certainly did!

I informed the players that although I don't like to lose, a loss can be positive. Positive only if lessons are learned. I asked the players to remember the moment. Remember the sinking feeling, the disappointment, and the hurt of a loss. I wanted them to remember the feeling to serve as the motivator to work hard in the future to avoid such feelings again. I informed the players that if they learn from this loss, and become a better football player, the loss can be a good thing.

When the disappointment fades and our players are ready to learn from the loss, growth will take place. In junior high football, there are 32 minutes of actual playing time. 32 minutes does not seem like a lot of time, but within that 32 minutes there are plenty of lessons about life to be learned. Lessons learned tonight include: the importance of preparation, the importance of belief, the importance of passion, the importance of perseverance, the importance of teamwork, and at the "drop of a hat" things can change dramatically.

Hopefully the biggest lesson our players will learn from tonight is that setbacks are only temporary. Temporary if you learn a lesson(s) and apply the lesson(s) in your life. Temporary because the setback can become the catalyst for growth and development. Failure, losses and setbacks are natural part of the growing process. The more one grows and develops, the better overall person that person becomes. When you become a better person; you become a better parent, better child, better student, better employee, better friend, better neighbor, and even a better stranger. When you become better, you are in a position to make everyone around you better too.

I don’t like to lose. But, if a loss makes our players better football players, and, more importantly, better people, then a loss is a good thing. And so it is with you, look to turn your losses into wins. We all have them. Remember, its what you do with the loss that really counts!

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It's your life: Live it, Love it, & Celebrate it!
MJD