Look Beyond

“It’s judgment that prevents us from seeing the good that lies beyond the appearance."
-- Wayne Dyer

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Kent Nerburn is a highly acclaimed author of several books. Being a well known author requires travel. One day while traveling across Canada on a train, Nerburn learned the value of withholding judgment. During the trip, he took notice of an elderly man whom the other passengers were clearly avoiding. The old man was talking with slurred speech and had an unstable gait. Nerburg, like the other passengers, assumed the elderly man was a common drunk.

Nonetheless, Nerburg decided to strike up a conversation with the “old drunk.” Almost Immediately, Nerburg could tell this man was not a drunkard. It was not long into the conversation that Nerburg learned that the old man was recovering from a stroke. The man sitting next to him was actually an engineer who had commandeered many trains on the very tracks they were traveling. For the remainder of the journey the two of them talked. Nerburg was absolutely fascinated by the stories and tales being told by the old man. What Nerburg anticipated to be a long, dull ride, suddenly became much shorter and enlightening.

At the end of their journey, the old man thanked Nerburg for doing what nobody else would do; talk to him. Nerburg thanked the old man for sharing his time and life stories with him. As Newburg walked away from the train station he could not help but feel, both enlightened and grateful for the opportunity to share a ride with an intelligent, wise and charming old man; the same man that the other passengers chose to avoid.

How about you? Do you look beyond, or do allow your initial perceptions to create your reality. Everyday we make assessments of people and things. Often times, we make these assessments without having accurate or complete information. We are quick to assess, and even quicker to judge.

Let Kent Nerburg’s story serve as a lesson for you. The next time you look at another person, look beyond what you first see; ignore the outside and focus on the inside. Instead of finding every reason to avoid someone, first choose to like them. Like first and ask questions later. We don’t give people a fair chance when we allow our assumptions, notions, and stereotypes to dictate our reality.

Human beings don’t like to be wrong. Hence, we look for ways to validate what we believe to be true. Because of this phenomenon, we trick ourselves into a false reality. We want to be right, but we couldn’t be more wrong. Nerburg’s story illustrates the point. Every other passenger on the train assumed the old man was a drunk. His speech and gait clearly gave it away. Because he was a drunk, they avoided him. The other passengers who would not give the old man the time of day easily became fatigued with a cross-county train ride that seemed to last forever. Not Nerburg, Nerburg felt refreshed! While the other passengers engaged in trivial matters to pass the time, Nerburg spent his time being amused and enlightened. I ask you, who was right?

Nerburg's story certainly highlights the classic idiom, "Never judge a book by its cover." Remember when you judge a book by its cover, you could be choosing to miss out on a masterpiece.

Look Beyond!

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It’s your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD

Making a Donation

"The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but its donation."
~Corrie ten Boom

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What you get out of life is in direct proportion to what you put into life. You have no control over the duration of your life, but you do have control over your donation to life. Once you fully understand that you are where you are at in your life because of your own doing, you begin to harness the power to create the life you wish to attain. The theory is pretty simplistic, yet it can be life-changing: Donate positive, get positive; donate negative, get negative; donate much, get much; donate little, get little.

I ask you, what type of donation will you make today.

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It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Fable of the Porcupine

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."
-- Audrey Hepburn
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Today's inspiration was sent to me by a person who has been an inspiration in my life, my brother, Pat. Thanks big brother!

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Fable of the porcupine:
It was the coldest winter ever and many animals died because of the cold. Some porcupines, realizing the gravity of the situation, decided to group together to share warmth. This way they were better covered and protected; however - the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After a while they decided to distance themselves one from the other and soon after they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to accept the little wounds that were caused by these close relationships, in order to benefit from what their companions offered. It was this way that they were able to survive and thrive. Moral of the Story:The best relationships are not ones that bring together perfect beings, but are instead ones where individuals learn to live with the imperfections of others and can still accept the gifts they have to offer.

***

Today, make it a point to look for and focus on the good in others.

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It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

A Bright Light

"Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter."
- Bono

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Look about you and determine where your light should burn a little brighter.
When one candle lights another, instantaneously the light becomes brighter. Two lit candles produce more light and more energy than one.

Today, look for someone in need and light their candle with your light. Remember a candle does not lose its light by lighting another candle.

Keep your light burning brightly!

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It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

When Losing is a Good Thing

Your success or failure in life will not be decided by the number of setbacks you encounter, but rather how you react to them.
-Unknown
***
Tonight our eighth-grade football team suffered its first defeat of the season, losing 12 – 8. We did not play a very good first half, which resulted in being down 6-0 at halftime. At halftime we told our players if you want to win, you have to believe you can; you have to have the expectation that you will win; and you have to play with passion and desire to turn your belief and expectation into a reality.

We came out and completely dominated the second half on both sides of football, until our opponent scored on a 95 yard touchdown run with 3 minutes remaining in the game. Our players, indeed, played the second half with passion and desire. We were a completely different team and it showed.

Needless to say, our players, coaches and parents were disappointed with the outcome of the game. We had it won. Unfortunately, big plays (95 yd touchdown run) are a part of football. And in some games, the better team does not win because of a big play or two.

When addressing the players at the end of the game, I told them how proud if was of them for they way they responded in the second half. Former college football coach, Lou Holtz once said, “How you respond to the challenge in the second half will determine what you become after the game, whether you are a winner or a loser.” Although the scoreboard did not declare us winners, our players’ effort certainly did!

I informed the players that although I don't like to lose, a loss can be positive. Positive only if lessons are learned. I asked the players to remember the moment. Remember the sinking feeling, the disappointment, and the hurt of a loss. I wanted them to remember the feeling to serve as the motivator to work hard in the future to avoid such feelings again. I informed the players that if they learn from this loss, and become a better football player, the loss can be a good thing.

When the disappointment fades and our players are ready to learn from the loss, growth will take place. In junior high football, there are 32 minutes of actual playing time. 32 minutes does not seem like a lot of time, but within that 32 minutes there are plenty of lessons about life to be learned. Lessons learned tonight include: the importance of preparation, the importance of belief, the importance of passion, the importance of perseverance, the importance of teamwork, and at the "drop of a hat" things can change dramatically.

Hopefully the biggest lesson our players will learn from tonight is that setbacks are only temporary. Temporary if you learn a lesson(s) and apply the lesson(s) in your life. Temporary because the setback can become the catalyst for growth and development. Failure, losses and setbacks are natural part of the growing process. The more one grows and develops, the better overall person that person becomes. When you become a better person; you become a better parent, better child, better student, better employee, better friend, better neighbor, and even a better stranger. When you become better, you are in a position to make everyone around you better too.

I don’t like to lose. But, if a loss makes our players better football players, and, more importantly, better people, then a loss is a good thing. And so it is with you, look to turn your losses into wins. We all have them. Remember, its what you do with the loss that really counts!

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It's your life: Live it, Love it, & Celebrate it!
MJD