I Don't Want to Grow Up!

"The secret of a genius is to carry the spirit of a child into old age."
- Aldous Huxley

***

Just the other day, my son officially made the leap from childhood into adolescence. March 22nd was his 13th birthday. On the night before his transformation from one stage of life to the next, as customary, I kissed him good night. I told him tomorrow was his big day. With a bit of trepidation, he responded, “Dad I don’t want to grow up.” Somewhat surprised, I asked, “Why don’t you want to grow up?” He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I love being a kid and when you grow up you have so much responsibility.”

I acknowledged that he was correct and told him, “Yes, you do take on more responsibility. But, just as you take on more responsibility, you’ll find greater opportunities and more privileges.” I wasn’t convinced that he bought into my “opportunities and privileges” discourse. Rather, he wanted to be reassured that childhood doesn’t have to come to an end. I told him, “Cole, you don’t ever have to stop being a kid. You can always be a kid at heart.” I went on to inform him that there is a big problem with adults today, and that would be that most adults have forgot what it was like to be a kid.” I kissed him one last time, wished him happy birthday, and said, “I don’t care how old you get, never, and I mean never, stop being a kid at heart.”

”Never stop being a kid at heart,” I told him. Later that night, I thought to myself was I living my own advice, or was I too, like all the other adults who let both the magic and simplicity of childhood fade away as they got older.

How about you? Are you a kid at heart? Do you remember how you could create something out of nothing; like taking a take a trip without actually going anywhere; like having an imaginary friend appear out of nowhere; or like being a superstar of a game that was never really played? Our childhood creativity kept us occupied and allowed us to be satisfied. Our creativity fueled our dreams, and no dream seemed too big. As children we all had one thing in common; we were dreamers.

What happened to our dreams? Life happened to us, that’s what happened. Somewhere between childhood and becoming an adult our dreams began to fade away and slowly died. Life told us we needed to get busy and there is no room for dreamers. People told us we needed to be responsible. Besides, responsible people don’t dream their lives away. We were told that we needed to get serious, settle down and make something out of their lives. It was when we started listening to people who told us what we could do, or what we could not do, that our dreams became a thing of the past. Are you one of those adults who have stopped dreaming? .

And, what about childhood excitement? Do you remember sleepless night because of the excitement that tomorrow would bring; like Christmas presents, birthday parties, sleepovers, vacations and so many other things. Childhood excitement is magical and packed with loads of pure energy. Joseph Cornell said, “Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first time, with eyes of a child, fresh with wonder.” Are you one of those adults who no longer gets excited about things? Do you believe that you are just too mature, or too old to get excited or express your excitement?

How about curiosity? Do you remember wanting to learn new things and searching for answers to your questions? Do you remember asking lots of questions over and over until you got it right? And, even when you thought you got it right, you asked more questions. Do you remember being so curious about something that you wouldn’t stop until you got the answers you were looking for? It’s a child’s curiosity that fuels their desire to learn and grow. There are so many things that children are curious about. Socrates once said, “ Wisdom begins in wonder.”; Do you still possess the curiosity of a child?. Do you continue to look for things until you find what our looking for?

What about faith? Faith develops out of trust. Children are trusting by nature. From birth, a child develops trust that others will take care of their needs. When learning to walk, a young child must trust that the outstretched arms will catch them if they fall. The child learning to ride a bike for the first time, trust that their parents will not let them fall. Children don’t need proof to believe in others or believe in things. Children live by faith; faith borne out of trust. And, because faith is borne out of trust, it always trumps fear. Children are generally happy because they have faith that things will work out. Do you possess the faith of child, or have you become cynical and a person of doubt?

And, then there is play! Do you still take time to play? When a child is at play, a child is at play. They invest their whole self into the activity. Even with their imaginations running wild, they never appear to get sidetracked. Their main purpose is to have fun. They could care less about what they look like or, what others say or think about them. Children can play by themselves or with others; it doesn’t matter to them. What does matters is that they have fun. Do you still take time to play? And, when you do play, do you play like a child or has your life become so hectic that there is no time for real play?

On Cole's birthday, as he unwrapping the gifts we gave him, I could not help but think of the gift he had given to me the night before. The gift he gave me did not come wrapped. It came from the heart of child. It didn’t come in a box. It came from childhood wisdom. Cole’s gift to me was a reminder; a reminder that I should never stop being a kid at heart. Thanks Cole! Thanks for reminding me to never stop dreaming, to never lose excitement for life; to look at things through the eyes of child, with curiosity; to have faith in people and things; and to take time to play like a child.

***
Its your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it
MJD

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Fielding Life's Ground Balls

Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

- Dale Carnegie

***

With the recent stretch of warm weather, I can’t help but get excited about the upcoming baseball season. The weather has also taken me down a trip through memory lane; where I recall the fond memories of my playing days. Baseball was fun! I can’t say that all of the practices were fun, but the games definitely were. I can remember some practices where it was quite cold; where nobody wanted to be there, including the coach, I would suspect. I remember seeing my breath, stinging hands from the bat, muddy fields, wet gear, and wanting to be somewhere warm. But, practice is practice; it is in practice where we hone our skills. It is the practices that prepare us for games. Repetition is the key for being prepared for game time situations. It is through repetition that we come to master a skill and gain confidence. There’s an old Russian Proverb that says, “Repetition if the mother of all learning.” I certainly can remember fielding ground ball, after ground ball, after ground ball to get me prepared for game time situations.

I can remember playing shortstop and third base in my youth. I moved to the outfield in high school and college. I can tell you that it is a lonely feeling running to the fence with your back to bases because you misjudged a fly ball or a grounder in the outfield. In the infield, if you misjudge a grounder, you always have your outfield to back you up. To me, catching a fly ball is easier than fielding a grounder. Sure, on occasion, you have to deal with the sun in your eyes and the wind doing funny things to the ball, but it is nothing compared to the bad hops that you might encounter when trying to field a ground ball.

It was during “pee wees” that I came to understand what, “Charge the ball,” and “Don’t let the ball play you meant. It meant you have to be proactive. You can’t stand on your heels waiting for the ball to come to you; you must go get it. If you wait for the ball to come to you, you risk the chance of the ball taking a bad hop. The purpose of charging the ball is two fold; to end up with a shorter throw to a base, and more importantly, to minimize the chance of the ball taking a bad hop. By charging the ball, the fielder is in control of the play, not the ball! The fielder can determine which hop they’ll play the ball and get themselves in the right position to make the throw.

When it comes to fielding a ground ball, the game of life is no different than the game of baseball. When fielding a ground ball in baseball, you’ll have plays with routine hops, easy hops or difficult hops. In the game of life, you’ll encounter situations, or using the baseball analogy, “plays”, that are easy, ordinary or difficult to manage. How can we make sure that we manage the plays in our lives the right way?

First, don’t settle for complacency. Complacency can be the gateway to failure. Since a complacent person is not proactive, he/she will likely miss out on new opportunities. A complacent person is like the fielder who stands on his/her heels waiting for the ball to come to them. Remember, the easy and routine plays can be deceiving. Ground balls that appear to be easy and routine can end up with a bad hop at the end. Be proactive!

Second, continue to be a student. Make learning a lifelong process. The more you learn the more knowledge you’ll acquire to assist you with the difficult plays in life. Continue to hone your skills. Repetition leads to mastery. Mastery leads to self-confidence. Self confidence helps to build self-esteem. Those with high self-esteem are best suited to make difficult plays and will like themselves regardless of the result.

Next, listen to your coaches. What constitutes a coach? They are your mentors. They are the people in your life that you respect and they are the one’s that have your best interest at heart. Take heed of the counsel of other. Pay careful attention to how your mentors live their lives. Why not learn from those who have not only played the game, but also understand it, and better yet, can teach it.

Lastly, if you happen to make a mistake, or in baseball terms, “commit an error,” get over it! We are all human. And, as humans, we all make mistakes. Mistakes are actually the precursor to success. If you commit an “error,” your attitude towards the error can affect the way you’ll continue to play. Dwelling on a mistake, blocks the learning phase of the mistake to success process. True learning and growth takes place, when you determine what went wrong, you accept responsibility, and take action to correct the mistake.

When it comes to fielding the ground balls in life, remember what my “pee wee” coach said to me, “Dillon, charge the ball! You’ll never be an all-star if you let the ball play you.”

Play Ball!
It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

What Direction Are You Heading In?

"The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

***

Oh how true! Where we are at is a culmination of all our past choices. Where we are going is a culmination of our hopes, dreams, passion and beliefs. Where we are is about experience. Where we are going is about potential. Your hopes, dreams, passion and belief will serve as your compass for the direction that you are heading in. Hard work, discipline and perseverance will keep you on your path. Just remember, reaching your destination is not the most important thing; what's more important is the person that you've become
enroute to your destination.

***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

The Best of Luck!

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Seneca

It's only fitting that on St. Patrick's Day the topic is luck!

Maewyn (St. Patrick) was held captive by Irish marauders at the age of 16.  He spent six years as a servant to his captors.  It was during those years that Maewyn became enlightened and developed his passion for Christianity. Maewyn eventually escaped from the marauders and entered the monastery.  It was in the monastery that Maewyn took the name Patrick and pledged to devote his life spreading the good news of Christianity throughout Ireland.  Legend has it that St. Patrick used the shamrock (clover leaf) to explain the doctrine of the trinity (the three leaves, although viewed as separate, are one, just as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one.)

From a historical perspective, one might conclude that St. Patrick was lucky.  In his youth, luck was in his favor as  he was able to escape from the Irish marauders.  As an adult, luck found his way as he spent much of his life avoiding arrest by the Druids, a group of priests, judges and teachers, who objected to his ministry.

Was luck on St. Patrick’s side or did St. Patrick create his own luck?  Do you consider yourself to be lucky, or does luck just seem to always be the fortune of others?   Luck doesn’t just happen!  Luck occurs when four things are present.  First, one must have the right mindset.  Second, one must be prepared for an opportunity to present itself.  Third, the timing must be right.  Lastly, one must take action when the opportunity occurs.

Since one never knows when an opportunity might present itself, possessing the right mindset is a must.  It has been said that, “If you believe that life just happens to you, then the best you can hope for is lots of luck and a good disaster plan.”  Just like luck, life doesn’t just happen to you either.   It’s your attitude that determines what happens to you.  People with a positive attitude experience positive results.   Whereas, possessing a  negative attitude will produce negative results.  Sure, there are unfortunate events that will occur in everybody’s  life, but it’s your response to those events that count, not the event itself. In order for an opportunity to present itself, you have to be in a state of awareness.  Since people with a negative mindset fail to believe in possibilities, they become blind when an opportunity presents itself.

Since one never knows when an opportunity will present itself, one must also be prepared.  So, how does one prepare for an opportunity?  You prepare for an opportunity by going to work on yourself; by improving your skills, expanding your network, and acquiring knowledge.  Louis Pasteur once said, “Fortune favors the prepared mind.”  You’ve heard the cliché, “Timing is everything.” But, in order for timing to be everything, there is an element of preparation that must be considered.  We often will hear people talk about others whom they perceive to be “just one of those lucky people.”  What they fail to talk about is the hard work and discipline that preceded the so-called lucky event.   Thomas Jefferson described the importance of hard work as it relates to luck when he said, “I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”

There are those rare instances, like winning a lottery, that are pure happenstance.  But in most cases, opportunities are self-created.  A series of events have been performed or not performed, consciously or unconsciously, that set the stage for an opportunity to present itself.  The person with the right mindset knows that opportunities come and go.  They prepare for the opportunity and engage in some type of action to make the most of the opportunity.

So here is my Four Leaf Clover Theory concerning luck: luck is a combination of the right attitude, the right preparation, the right timing, and taking the right action.

Wishing you the best of luck!
    

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

The Ultimate Gift

The Ulitmate Gift is a must read book. It is a book that focuses on what is truly important in life. The Ultimate Gift make a great gift to give as a gift.

The Ultimate Gift is a story about a self-made billionaire, Red Stevens, who gave his family everything and in doing so robbed them of everything that is wonderful in life. After his death, his self-serving and greedy relatives wait in anticipation to find how his multi-billion dollar estate will be divided amongst them. Family members gather for the reading of will. One by one they learn of their inheritance until one family member is left, Jason Stevens.

Jason, the great nephew of Red Stevens, is anxious to find out what his rich great uncle had left him. He soon finds out there is no immediate inheritance. Rather, Jason is told that each month he will be given one gift. If he can last the full year and embrace each gift, those gifts will lead to an ultimate gift. Jason reluctantly and angrily agrees to take on what he believes is an unfair challenge.

The First Gift: The Gift of Work
Jason is sent to work on a farm for a month. From sun up to sun down, Jason is forced to engage in manual labor; something he had never had to do before. Red Stevens wanted Jason to know that everything Red had earned in his life came from hard work, and if a person can work with pride and quality they can do just about anything. At the end of the month, Jason learns not only the value of a hard day’s work, but the pride that comes from it.

The Second Gift: The Gift of Money
Jason is given $1,500 and is told that he must spend it on five people that need it the most. Jason quickly learns how badly off many people are. Uncle Red wanted Jason to learn that money is nothing more than a tool; it can be a force of good or of evil. At the end of the month, Jason learns the lesson that it is in giving that you receive.

The Third Gift: The Gift of Friends
Jason is instructed that he must find the principles that underlie true friendship. Although Jason believes he has friends, none would be called a true friend. His friends are more interested in themselves than others. Jason comes to learn that a true friend is one who will do anything to help you out. More importantly, Jason learns how to be a true friend.

The Fourth Gift: The Gift of Learning
Jason is sent to a small town in Africa to learn and assist a librarian. The library was built by his Uncle Red as a gift to the village people. Jason develops a new found respect for learning as he watches how the villagers will walk for miles to get a book to read. Jason learns that desire and hunger for education is the real key to learning.

The Fifth Gift: The Gift of Problems
Jason is instructed to find four people of different ages with different problems. Jason learns that in life everybody has problems; some are a lot bigger than others. Problems are intended to be learning experiences. Jason learns that for most of his life he has been avoiding problems, and therefore never learned the valuable lessons that problems can teach us.

The Sixth Gift: The Gift of Family
Jason is sent to a home for Boys that his uncle had built. While in working in the home, he learns the importance of family and how so many people take their family for granted. At the end of a month, Jason learns that family isn’t as much about be related by blood as it is about be related by love.

The Seventh Gift: The Gift of Laughter
Jason is instructed to seek out someone who going through a hardship but still finds a way to laugh. Jason learns that one must be able to laugh at themselves, their problems and life in general. People take things far too seriously. If one can laugh in the face of adversity, the person will find happiness.

The Eighth Gift: The Gift of Dreams
Jason is instructed to make a list of his goals and dreams, and then prioritize them. Jason learns that dreams are the essence of life; not as is it is, but as it can be. Jason finds that the world’s great men and women all started off with some type of dream; seeing and believing that better things lie ahead.

The Ninth Gift: The Gift of Giving
Jason is instructed to give something of his away each day for the entire month. Jason learns that the more one gives, the more one receives. He also learns that giving is more than giving material things, it also includes a much more important type of giving; the giving of yourself.

The Tenth Gift: The Gift of Gratitude
Jason is asked to make a list of ten things he is most grateful for. The list is called the “Golden List.” Jason’s “Golden List” has the things in life that most people take for granted: health, family, friends, his home, and education to name a few. Jason learns that it’s ironic that people who have the most to be thankful for are often the least thankful, and those with the least are most thankful.

The Eleventh Gift: The Gift of a Day
Jason is asked to plan things he would do if he had one day left to live. His plan for his last day on earth is simple and ordinary. He would arise early, recite his “Golden List, spend time with family and friends, enjoy the beauty of nature, and conclude his day with a special banquet. At the special banquet he would tell his family and friends about the special gifts that his Uncle Red had left to him. Jason learns how precious life is and that each day should be lived with gratitude and to fullest.

The Twelfth Gift: The Gift of Love
Jason is instructed to relate the gift of love into the other eleven gifts he has been given. Jason learns that anything good, honorable or desirable in life is based on love. The gift of love is the goodness that comes from God. When we truly love others, our love makes each of us a better person.

The Ulitmate Gift
At the end of the twelve months, Jason is thankful for the gifts that his uncle had bestowed upon him. He admits that the gifts have forever changed his life and who he is. He is no longer an angry, greedy and selfish person. Jason figures out that the twelve gifts together become the ultimate gift. Jason is told that not only does he have the privilege of enjoying the ultimate gift; he has the responsibility to live his life to the fullest with each gift in balance. In addition, he has the responsibility to pass along the ultimate gift whenever possible.

In the end, Jason is put in charge of Red Steven’s charitable trust fund of over 1 billion dollars. He eagerly accepts the responsibility and pledges to use the funds to spread the ultimate gift around the world.
The Ultimate Gift was written by Jim Stoval and is now a major motion picture.

***
It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

The Seasons of Life

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

***

The snow is melting and spring is just around the corner. Soon, we will officially say good-bye to old man winter. Gone will be a season characterized by coldness, darkness and dormancy. Winter will be replaced by a new season. The dormancy of winter will give way to Spring’s rebirth.

Just like nature's seasons, we also experience seasons in our lives. Unfortunately, we will all experience “winters.” "Winters" are the times when we face adversity and hardship. We get through the “Winters” of our lives by having faith that things will change. It is our faith that pulls us through the cold and darkness of the “winters.” We have faith that a new season will emerge, leaving the old season behind. Our faith in the seasons tells us winter won’t last forever and that Spring always follows Winter.

The seasons teach us that nothing last forever. Winter gives way to Spring, Spring gives way to Summer, Summer to Fall and Fall to Winter. The seasons teach us that life is a circular process; opportunity follows adversity and adversity follows opportunity. We will all have times of opportunity and abundance, and times of adversity and deficiency. It is during the times of opportunity and abundance that we should prepare for the seasons of adversity and deficiency. Whereas, it is during the times of adversity and deficiency that we must have faith and look forward to seasons of opportunity and abundance.

If you are struggling with one of those "winters” in your life, take heed that Spring will come. Most times, it doesn’t come as soon as we wish for, but it will come! The Good Book tells us, “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.” (Gen 8:22)
The best way to weather the “winter” is to have faith and stay close to those who will warm your spirit and your soul: God, your family and friends.

Hang in there! It won’t be long before you can hear the birds of the air singing in jubilation that Spring has arrived.

***
It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

You Can

By all the means you can,In all the ways you can,To all the people you can,For as long as you can.- John Wesley

***

When you do all the good you can, for as long as you can, and to as many people as you can, you invoke the law of giving and receiving. And, in essence, you gain far more than what you give. The Good Book tells us that it is better to give than to receive. Why is it better to give than to receive? When you give with no expectation of receiving, you are giving from the heart. When you give from the heart, not only do you improve the lot of someone else, you demonstrate good character, and good character attracts good things.

***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD

Nothing Like the Present

“Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.”
—Albert Camus

***

There is nothing like the present time. Present time is really all we have. None of us are guaranteed to live another day, let alone another second. One could perceive the preceding statement as morbid. On the contrary, the statement is actually about life and living. It’s about living a fulfilled life by living in the present moment. It’s about being released from the prisons of the past and about being free from the worry of a time that has yet to come.

For most of us, living in the present moment is hard. The past seems to want to drag us back into the past, and the future seems to want to instill in us fear of what is, or, what isn’t to come. Take into account the influence of the past and the future on our present thinking, and throw into the mix our 21st Century, busy and hectic, schedules, and who in their right mind could begin to live in the present moment?

You can! You just need to practice. Your simple practice plan is below. Make it a point to practice daily and the present moment will begin to seem more and more like the present moment each day.

1) Learn to appreciate the gifts of nature. Look around you. God is artist and nature is his artwork. There is just something about crystal clear blue skies, freshly fallen snow, the roaring sea, a winding brook, majestic mountains and colorful meadows to a name a few. Take it all in, there’s plenty of beauty before your eyes.

2) Learn to appreciate the people in your life: People will come and go in your life. But, the most important people are the people in your life right now. Tell them you love them. Thank them for their love and support. When you’re with them, make them your number one focus. Nothing tells someone that you care and appreciate them more than excluding out the rest of the world, and making the person you’re with “your world” for the moment. In other words, when you’re with someone, be with them!

3) Learn to appreciate yourself: You’ll never be able to enjoy the present moment, if you’re constantly critical of yourself and comparing yourself with the Jones’. The Jones’ are the Jones’ and let the Jones’ be the Jones’. We don’t need two Jones’. God made us all unique for a reason. And yes, God is an artist and you are his masterpiece. When you don’t appreciate yourself, you are in essence telling God that you don’t appreciate his work. Make it a point to be quick to forgive yourself, always be kind to yourself and above all, love yourself.

Years back, there was a commercial that said, “It doesn’t get much better than this.” To me, it doesn’t get much better than the following scenario: Taking a walk with someone you love and being with them in the present moment, both of you taking in the beauty of nature, and you privately saying to God, thank you for everything you have given to me and thank you for the masterpiece of me!

***
Its Your Life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD

Putting the Extra in Ordinary

"The difference between extraordinary people and ordinary people is a simple as the difference between the two words. Extraordinary people are committed to doing the extra things that ordinary people won't."
~ Christine Kinney

***

Nothing in life is free: You want something, you need to work at it. It is the law of reaping and sowing. The farmer cannot have an extraordinary harvest, unless he plants an extraordinary field and cultivates it extraordinarily. It takes extraordinary work! If the farmer plants and cultivates with mediocrity the harvest will be mediocre. What do you think the harvest will look like, if the planting and cultivating was done poorly?

If you want to be an extraordinary person, then you need to commit to working when everyone else is sleeping. This is not to be taken in the literal sense, as sleep is important for recharging the body and mind. What this means is that you have to be willing to put forth the extra effort. For the basketball player, it may mean staying after practice every night and working on your game while the others players have left to go home. For the "A" student, it may mean studying while all of your friends are at the big game. For the young professional it may mean working on your group project over the weekend while the other members of your team spend their weekend socializing. You get the picture!

Extraordinary people know that if they work extraordinarily hard early on in life, a bountiful harvest awaits them. They know that working as hard as they can, as early as they can, gives them the opportunity to do the things that they want to do, as long as they can.

Want to be extraordinary, simply put the extra in the ordinary!

***
It's your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!