Why Not You?

“The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.”

- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

***

Why Not You? by Steve Marobli

Today, many will awaken with a fresh sense of inspiration. Why not you?

Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty that surrounds them. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?

Today, many will break through the barriers of the past by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?

Today, for many the burden of self doubt and insecurity will be lifted by the security and confidence of empowerment. Why not you?

Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they will be a positive role model for children. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to free themselves from the personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live free of conditions and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?

Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?

Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim mentality, but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why not you?

Today, many will take the action necessary to make a difference. Why not you?

Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother, father, son, daughter, student, teacher, worker, boss, brother, sister, and so much more. Why not you?

Today is a new day!  Many will seize this day. Many will live it to the fullest. Why not you?

***

News Flash!  You are in complete control of your life, nobody else, just you!   People that don't understand this concept believe that they are only capable of   responding to the events and circumstances that go on around them.  Hence, it’s events and circumstance that shape the person.   These people do not understand the concept that we become what we think about.   So in essence, it’s our thoughts that create our circumstances and events.  Since it is impossible for someone else to think for you, you alone have the power to choose your thoughts.   You can choose to think negatively and focus on your limitations, or positively and think about possibilities.  Negative thinking can only produce negative results.  Conversely, positive thinking can only produce positive results.

Remember, you are where you are at in your life today, because of the choices YOU have made.   Just as you had the power to choose your thoughts up to this period in your life, you have the power to choose the thoughts that will shape who you become in the future.   Take heed, your future begins with the how you think in the present.   Now that you know that you create the events and circumstances in your life and it is not the events and circumstance that create you, you can choose to create a better you. 

It’s true, beginning today, many people will choose to live their lives differently.  They have come to the realization that they possess the sole power to make a change in their lives.  I applaud those who will choose to think differently today .  I only ask, Why not you?

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!

MJD

Anniversary Gratitude

In the past, I talked about the positive energy that one derives from being grateful. Life is about energy and when we're grateful for our gifts, more gifts come our way. If you have gratitude in your heart, you'll have abundance in your life. Make it a point to be grateful for the many gifts you possess.

Today, I find myself reflecting particularly on one aspect in my life that I have much to grateful for. April 28th is one of the most significant days of my life. This day serves as reminder to me of the following gifts that I have in my life :

the gift of love,

the gift of a soul mate,

the gift of companionship,

the gift of friendship,

the gift of raising children,

the gift of family

the gift of marriage, and

most importantly, the gift of my wife, who makes all of the above possible.

Happy Anniversary Cindy!

It's your life; live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Whose Defining Who?

“Don’t let someone’s opinion of you become your reality.”
- Les Brown

***
A baby learning to walk is the epitome of determination. A baby repeatedly falls down; yet, gets back up and tries again. With an unshaken determination, a baby learns to walk one step at a time. Parents, family and friends provide the positive encouragement needed. It is through a baby's determination and encouragement from others that a baby confronts the fear of falling down and learns to walk.

A child learning to ride a bike is no different. A child faces the fear of falling down too. A child understands that falling down is a part of the process of learning how to ride a bike. With training wheels off, a child embraces the challenge because they believe the reward to be worth the risk. More importantly, a child believes that they are capable of learning a new skill. If not, they would never get on the bike. Their belief is solidified from the encouragement and support of their parents and/or family members; nobody is telling them they can't ride a bike. Like a baby learning to walk, a child learns to ride a bike through determination and encouragement from others.

Both a baby and a child are able to accomplish these developmental milestones because of support and encouragement from those they love and trust. With the right support and encouragement a child comes to believes they can conquer the world. Children are dreamers. They believe that dreams are destined to come true. Unfortunately with age, dreams begin to die a slow death. What causes a wide-eyed, adventurous youth who believed nothing was impossible to begin doubting themselves? They begin to listen to people who do not offer encouragement and support. They hear things like: “You don’t have what it takes,” “You will never make it,” and “That’s just not possible.” Those statements are quite a contrast to a period in their lives where developmental milestones were achieved by people constantly encouraging them and supporting them.

Over the years, children/adolescents begin to encounter situations where someone negatively influences their belief about themselves and what they can accomplish. These negative influences begin to cause a child to doubt their abilities. A child's relationship with those closest in their lives is based upon trust. It is because of trust that parents, siblings, teachers and coaches have the greatest impact on a child's/adolescent's belief system. As a child’s cognitive abilities develop, they begin to believe what is said about them by the people they trust the most. When a person close to a child uses negative or restrictive words to describe the child’s abilities, the child assumes it to be true. Often times the remarks are unintentional, but the outcome is always the same; a child believing they are not capable. Unfortunately, a child with limited cognitive skill begins generalizes the comment; leaving them to feel that they are not worthy or capable of achievement.

People will always have opinions. A key to happiness is not allowing yourself to be controlled by the opinions of other. Remember, they are simply opinions; neither right nor wrong. An opinion should not define who you are. You define who you are! You define who you want to become and what you are capable of achieving. When you allow yourself to be defined by others, you allow yourself to be robbed of your uniqueness and the potential within you. If you have suffered from the negative opinions/comments from others, today is the day to let go. Do not allow the negative and restrictive comments of the past to control your life any longer. In most cases, the comments were not intended to define you. They were merely someone’s opinion.

You have the power to choose your thoughts. Nobody else has control over your thoughts. That being the said, you can choose to believe that you are a person with unlimited potential and value. You also have the choice to ignore the opinions of others. Remember, you are the only one who truly knows what you are capable of. If you allow others to define you, with their negative or restrictive opinions, you'll never be able tap into your true potential.

I urge you to let go of any negative or restrictive comments from the past. Don’t allow them to define you any longer. You define You! When you define you, you can become that wide-eyed, adventurous youth you once were. That youth that believed nothing was impossible. If you believe in yourself and your unlimited potential, who knows, you may find that you're back on your way to living the life you once dreamed of.

It's your life; live it, love it & celebrate it
MJD 

Let it Be

"And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me; shine until tomorrow, let it be."

- Paul McCartney - Let it Be

***
The Beatles released Let It Be in 1970.  Contrary to popular belief, the reference to Mary, “When I find myself in trouble mother Mary comes to me,” does not have a biblical overtone.  The lyrics were penned by Paul McCartney.  McCartney is referring to his mother, Mary, who died when he was a teen.  The song is about leaving the past behind and moving on.

Far too many people are too caught up in their past that they stop living; living is about the present.  Those that choose to live in the past are unable to move forward, which leads to no foreseeable future.   Being unable see and shape their future, one’s past becomes their present.   People who choose to live in the past do so for a variety of reasons, with most being self-defeating.  Instead of living in the past, one needs to allow the past to serve them.   The past is intended to teach us, not haunt us.  If one is able to learn the lessons from the past, one is equipped to live effectively in the present.   It is living in the present that allows one to look to a future that he/she desires.

For whatever reason you might be hanging on to the past, now is the time to "Let it be."  If it is a grudge,"Let it be."  If it is an old, hurtful relationship, "Let it be."  If your are living in the past out of guilt or regret, "Let it be."  If your are holding on to the past, because you fear change or are fearful of the future, "Let it be."

Our greatest teacher should be the past.  However, the past should teach us not control us.  There is no opportunity for growth when you live in the past.  Remember, it is impossible to see ahead of you when you're looking behind you.   Personal growth comes from learning from the past, not living in the past.   Allow the past to serve you; not dominate you.

Learn from the past.
Live in the present.
Look to the future.

Remember the past holds memories, the present holds reality,and the future holds possibilities.  If you're struggling with issues from the past, McCartney tells us, "There will be an answer, let it be."

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

For the Love of the Game

Every spring, I anxiously await the arrival of a new baseball/softball season. From the pros to the pee-wees, there nothing like an umpire commencing a game of America's favorite past-time by saying, "Play ball." The springtime reminds me of youthful days of rushing home from school, grabbing my baseball glove and playing baseball until dark. During my youth, I developed a love and passion for the game of baseball. There were very few things that would keep me away from a chance to play the game. It was my love and passion for the game, as well as the support from my parents that helped extend my playing career to the collegiate level.

This spring has been no different. I anxiously awaited the Detroit Tigers to begin their run as a World Series contender. I, along with several other Tiger fans, were excited about this season. Over the winter months, the Tigers were billed as the most "Explosive" team in baseball. What happened? The Tigers have limped through April with a disappointing 7-13 record and are sitting at the bottom of the Central Division of the American League. The Detroit Tigers have played sluggishly. There is a lack of spark, a lack of passion. In many of the games, it has appeared that the players didn't really want to play; they were just going through the motions.

This Spring I've followed my daughter's high school softball team. They, like the Tigers, are struggling. Like the Tigers, they appear to be going through the motions; they lack passion. Sure, they say they talk like they want to win, but saying and doing are different things. Talking doesn't produce results. It is difficult to produce results, when you're simply going through the motions. Their actions tell a different story; winning is not that important to them. If winning were important, they would play with passion. They would have that burning desire to "Do whatever it takes." They have the talent to be successful, but going through the motions only results in a loss of focus. This lack of focus has led to far too many physical and mental errors this season. It is hard to focus when don't care enough. A loss of focus will ultimately result in underachievement. Underachievement promotes finger pointing. Finger pointing creates dissension. Dissension not only promotes further underachievement, but destroys the very fabric of what it means to be a team. Something needs to change! It has been said, "If you always do what you've always done, you always get what you always got." If this team ever decides to play with passion, they will be a team to be reckoned with.

I'm amazed at the number of people who are "going through the motions" in life. They lack passion. They lack vitality. Life just seems to happen to them. Hence, they don't create their circumstance; they react to their circumstances. They often feel victimized and make no attempt to change their lot. It is much easier to blame others and circumstances than accept responsibility and change things. They get the results that the Tigers and my daughter's softball team are getting; underachievement.

I'm equally amazed by those people that live life to the fullest. Whatever they do is done with passion. They really care about what they do. Their passion for living generates positive energy. It is their positive energy that fuels their success.

If your one of those people who are going through the motions in life, make a decision today, April 22, 2008 to begin living life. Find that passion for living and embrace it. Your passion will generate focus and good things will follow. Get excited. Love life and live it!

As for the Tigers and my daughter's softball team, I will continue to have faith that they will develop the passion to win and turn things around. I do realize that baseball/softball is "just a game." But, life is a game too; a game we all should want to win!

It's your life; live it, love it, & celebrate it!

The Grand Illusion

“Before you keep up with Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you."

~ Erma Bobeck

***

In 1977, the band Styx released the album entitled, The Grand Illusion. The album was an instant success and became a triple platinum seller. The lyrics to title track tells of the struggle that many people endure when they define their lives by the lives of others. The lyrics state:

“So if you think your life is complete confusion

'cause your neighbors got it made

Just remember that it’s a grand illusion

And deep inside were all the same."

The confusion the lyrics speak of is the byproduct of viewing the apparent effect of things and not of the things themselves.  When one only views the apparent effect of things, "Cause your neighbor has it made," the perception can distort the reality.  People who constantly try to measure up to others will live life confused.  Why? They're living a life that’s not consistent with who they actually are.  They become so consumed with what others have that they lose focus of what they have.  Hence, they examine their life from what they don’t have.  Because of this focus, they create their own external circumstances to produce more of what is lacking.   They desperately seek what they perceive to be lacking: wealth, material goods, success, happiness and/or fame.   Since these variables are subjective variables, they measure their value based upon the standards of others; resulting in a lifestyle that robs them of their uniqueness.  They will constantly struggle with who they are and who they want to become.  

Styx reminds us not to be influenced by appearances.  Appearances can be a grand illusion. So forget about "The Joneses" and their lifestyle. It’s time to embrace your own uniqueness.   There is a reason why there is only one you. You were created to be special. Be proud of who you are and live your life according to your standards!  It was Shakespeare who said, “To thine self be true” and that statement cannot be any more true!

It’s your life: live it, love it and celebrate it!

MJD

Understanding Your Purpose

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."
- Friedrich Nietzcshe

A recent USA today poll revealed that 53% of American workers are not happy with their jobs. It is amazing to think that over half of the workforce in the United States does not enjoy going to work. Our jobs require that we spend more time performing our jobs than any other activity that we engage in when we are awake. There are a variety of reasons why a person may not be happy with their job. The main reason that people are not satisfied with their jobs is not related to money, time, responsibilities, coworkers or supervision. It is related to a lack of an understanding of their purpose in life. You see, most people are working in jobs that do not fulfill their purpose in life. If you understand your purpose in life and can work in a field that supports that purpose, the issues related to money, time, responsibilities, coworkers and/or supervision become unimportant. Why? Because you work fulfills your purpose. When one understands his/her purpose and works and lives in a manner to fulfill that purpose, he or she finds happiness and success.

My father understands his purpose in life and lives his purpose. I consider my father a simple, but successful man. He lives a simplistic life and has never sought out an elegant or stylish lifestyle. He does not possess material wealth and never has. He has a high school education. He owns one suit. He doesn’t travel outside of Michigan. He has never been on an airplane. He prefers casual dining over fine dining.

Yet, my father is a successful man. He understands his purpose in life. He has been a coach/athletic director for 52 years. During those years, he has coached and mentored thousands of children and adults. He can’t go anywhere in Jackson without a player, former player, parent or community member greeting him and thanking him for the positive impact he has had on youth and the sports community. My father is a well respected man. I have heard from people time and time again that my father is a great person as well as a great coach.

My father success is rooted in his understanding of his purpose. His purpose in life emerged from a tragic event that occurred when he was 6-months old; his father was killed in a train accident. Having grown up without a father, my father always yearned to forge a father/son relationship. Life dictating otherwise, my father was determined to be the best father that he could be, not only to his own children, but to several children. At the age of 18, he began his coaching career. At the age of 70, he is still coaching and serving as an athletic director. A coach has a unique opportunity to be a father figure to his players. Coach Dillon has been a father figure to many. He has spent nights in hospital rooms with injured players, attending court proceeding with players/former players, counseled players, stood in for fathers, who were either unable to or refused to attend the sporting/school/social events of their children. He has attended far more milestone events of players and former players than one could ever imagine. .

My father has many great virtues, but perhaps his best is humility. You see, it has never been about him; it has always been about kids. A reporter once asked me, why I thought my dad was so successful. I replied, “It’s a simple equation, he loves kids plus he loves sports.” If a reporter were to ask me that question today, I would reply, “He is living his purpose.” Awhile later, I was asked, “What was it like growing up with a dad who was as a coach and father figure to so many kids?” I replied, “I really didn’t mind. I’ve been the fortunate one. They only get him for a couple of hours a night. I got him for a lifetime.”

This weekend, find a quiet place and begin some serious introspection concerning your purpose in life. Once you understand you purpose, and begin living your life according to that purpose, happiness and success will naturally follow.

By the way Dad, thanks for another of the many lessons in life you have taught me

Have an AWESOME Weekend.
It's your life; live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Becoming an Expert

Everyone has a talent; what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.

~ Erica Jong

***

What is an expert? Webster dictionary defines an expert as "One with the special skill or knowledge representing mastery of a particular subject."

On the lighter side, I have heard a jest definition of an expert as someone who wears a suit and lives fifty miles away. This definition corresponds to the biblical passage from Matthew 13:57: "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor." Most people would have you believe that you have to be an outsider to be taken as an expert. I disagree. I believe that each and every one of us has the potential to be an expert at something, regardless of where we live. I say this because I've have the opportunity to meet with some incredibly brilliant, successful men and women right here in my hometown. These people are definitely experts.

God has given each and every one of us talents. These talents are gifts from God. For some of us, our talents are readily noticeable; others may have to do some soul searching to find their gifts. Sometimes we don't recognize our talents until we figure out our purpose in life. Once you have recognized your talents, your gift back to God is the perfection of these talents. If we diligently perfected our talents, in due time, we should be considered an expert.

It has been said, "If you were devote an extra hour a day studying in your field, you would be a national expert in less than five years." Think about it: one hour a day, 360 hours a year, 1800 hours over five years to be considered an expert. If you figure that there is 43,800 hours in a five year time period, 1800 hours seems like a small investment of time to be considered an expert.

Take some time today to thank God for the talents he has given to you. Next, make a serious commitment that you will spend time to perfect your talents. Who knows, maybe someday you'll be called an "Expert."

Remember there will never be another April 9, 2008 so make sure, you make the best of it!

It's your life; live it, love it, & celebrate it!

MJD

Jayhawk Perseverance

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
-William Feather

******

Late last night, the University of Kansas Men's Basketball came from behind to beat the University of Memphis and claim the NCAA National Championship. During the final minute of regulation play, Memphis made only 1 of 5 free throws. Had Memphis made those free throws, the game would have ended in regulation with Memphis being crowned as champions. Memphis did not capitalize on opportunities and allowed a determined Kansas Jayhawk team to send the game into an overtime period. Kansas took charge in the overtime period and won the game 75-68.

I was extremely impressed with a Kansas team who was down by nine points with two minutes left to play in the game. The Jayhawks played team basketball and took advantage of every opportunity afforded to them in the final minutes of the game. What impressed me the most was the perseverance Kansas showed. They were focused and never stop believing it what could happen.

The Jayhawk victory has a very important lesson about achievement. The Jayhawks demonstrated passion, belief and perseverance. The foundation of achievement lies in passion and belief. You can't have one without the other. Passion is the why? Why is it important to you. Belief, on the other hand, is knowing that you have what it takes to achieve. If you have belief, but no passion, chances are you won't even put forth the effort; it's just not that important to you. If you have passion, but no belief, passion may get you started, but you'll soon give up because you can't see yourself achieving.

The ultimate test of passion and belief is adversity. Is your belief strong enough and your why big enough to keep you going in the face of adversity? Perseverance is the glue that bonds passion and belief together in difficult times. Every significant accomplishment is born out of passion and belief, but it is perseverance that keeps passion and belief alive. It is amazing to think of how many times people have thrown in the towel in when success was right around the corner. What could have been accomplished if they only persevered a little longer?

Last night the Jayhawks could have thrown the towel in with two minutes left to play in regulation. They didn't! Most people thought the game was over. Not Kansas! They showed us they had a big enough why and believed they could win the game. They persevered and won!

The next time you're faced with adversity, remember the Jayhawks: Persevere and Win!

Have a great Tuesday, April 8th and keep on persevering!
It's your life; live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD