The Small Room

"One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody."
~Mother Teresa

***
Today, I heard a conversation about LeBron James.  The talk was about the phenomenal season he is having thus far.  He is averaging 29.2 points per game, 8.3 assists and 7.1 rebounds. He is shooting 55.1 percent from the floor.  LeBron’s stats are most impressive.   If this trek continues, some may claim that he could be the best basketball player to ever take the hardwood.  But, would he be?   His statistics alone could dictate that.  But there is more to basketball than just statistics.  There are the intangibles: things like character, leadership and work ethic. 

Some believe that in order for LeBron James to be identified with the likes of Bird, Magic and His Airness, LeBron must win a championship.  Why is it so important that Mr. James win a championship to take his place among the great ones?  It is because winning a championship speaks to a complete player.   No doubt, statistics can be impressive.  But alone, statistics do not win championships.   Basketball requires teamwork.  LeBron has four other players on the court with him.  If LeBron is going to win a championship, he has to be able to do what the great players that went before him did.  Bird did it; Magic did it; and Jordan dit it!. The great ones made those around them better.  They knew they could not win a championship by themselves.  Everyone on the team had to get better.  The great ones have a leadership style that brings out the best in people.  If LeBron James is going to win a championship, he has to become a person of influence.  It is imperative that he must make those around him better.
 
Congratulations to LeBron James – his statistics are stunning.  But, until he wins a championship, he will not find his name among the truly great ones.  Sure, LeBron is extremely talented.  Someday, he will retire with Hall of Fame type statistics.  Absent a championship, he will not be entitled to enter the "small room."  A room reserved only for the truly great ones; those who not only put up big numbers, but made everyone else better while doing so. 

So I ask you, do you make those around you better?  Or, are you so caught up in your statistics (your own affairs) that you either don't have the time or you don't care to make those around you better.  I encourage you to become a person of influence.  When you make those around you better, it is only natural that you become better too; your family becomes better; your organization becomes better and so on.  The truly great ones understand and embrace the responsibility of making others better. 

Here's to making those around you better.  I only hope that someday you find yourself in some "small room" among the truly great ones!
 
It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

If Only You Believed in Miracles

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle, or you can live as if everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein

***
Just what is a miracle? A miracle is an extraordinary event in human affairs that is considered to be attributed to divine intervention. So do you believe in miracles? I do! Miracles happens everyday: the birth of a baby; the rising and setting of the sun; stars shining brightly at night; are to name but a few. Some will explain these incredible events as purely scientifically. Others will profess that there is nothing amazing about these events as they are common day occurrences.

I believe in a God who created the universe; including the sun, moon, stars, mountains, valleys, oceans and everything in it. Most importantly, I believe in a God who creates life by blowing the breath of life into each new born. Nature in itself is a miracle! Einstein tells us, “We can live our lives as nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle.” The choice is ours. I believe in a God who performs miracles in our lives daily. Don’t be that person who takes the miracles in your life for granted or looks to science for an explanation. I’m choosing to live my life as if everything is a miracle and have yet to be disappointed. So I ask you, how will you live your life, as if nothing is a miracle or everything is a miracle?


It’s your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!


MJD

A Super Lesson

History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.
-- B.C. Forbes

***
Super Bowl XLVI is in the record books: New York Giants 21 – New England Patriots 17.

Congratulations to the Super Bowl champions! The New York Giants had a quintessential roller coaster season. At midseason they were 6-2. Four straight losses landed them with a .500 mark with 4 games to play. After week 15, they were still only a .500 team (7-7). With divisional rivals, Green Bay, New Orleans and San Francisco having stellar seasons, the thought of the Giants making it to the Super Bowl seemed all but a “pipe dream.” Besides, the Packer, Saints and 49ers beat the Giants during the Giants four game losing streak between weeks 10 and 13. At that point in the season, one might expect for the Giants to throw in the proverbial throw and begin focusing on next year; no, not the Giants!

Possessing an extraordinary will to win and believing it to be possible, the New York Giants found ways to win. Enough ways to find themselves in the Super Bowl and enough ways to win the big game! The Giants’ season and their Super Bowl victory define the cornerstone of success: passion and belief. It was their passion and belief that fueled the qualities necessary to become the top of their class: those qualities being discipline, hard work and perseverance. While the rest of the world was doubtful, the Giants believed it to be possible. It’s because of their unwavering belief and unbridled passion that they are now the best team in the National Football League. For sure, the Giants will have a target on their back next season. Will this year’s success breed complacency or will the Giants work that much harder to stay at the top?

Just as the Giants’ Super Bowl victory teaches us a valuable life lesson about winning, the Patriots loss teaches us a valuable life lesson about defeat. Defeat is only temporary. The quote from Marilyn vos Savant puts it into perspective, “Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent." Will the Patriots wallow in self-pity, make excuses and point fingers, or will they see their defeat as just a temporary condition and use it as a catalyst to come back stronger next year? One must understand a defeat/loss is not intended to punish us; it intended to serve us. Whether it punishes a person or serves a person depends entirely on the person. A defeat/loss tells us we are not quite there yet. Thus, affording us an opportunity to make the necessary adjustments that will put us in a better position to succeed next time around.

The Super Bowl teams remind us that in our life there will be times when we’ll feel like the Giants; experiencing the joys of success, and times when we’ll feel like the Patriots; coping with the sting of defeat. Yes, life is a series of wins and losses. Each win and each loss contains a lesson. It is not important that we keep a record of the wins and losses, for a loss can contain far greater value than a win. Instead of focusing too much on our wins and losses, we need to focus our attention on the person we become as a result of our wins and losses. Remember, time has a way of turning a win or a loss into nothing but a faded memory. What doesn’t fade away is the person that we have become because of triumphs we’ve encountered and defeats we’ve suffered. So, when our game of life finally comes to an end and we stand before the head referee, we will not be judged on the number of our wins and losses, but we’ll be judges on how we played the game and, more importantly, the person we became because of the game.

It’s your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!

MJD

A Tribute to Pete McDonough

There was a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on his tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of his birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
we spent alive on earth
And those that love us most
Know what that dash is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

- Adapted from The Dash by Linda Ellis

***

Peter Edward McDonough (1949 - 2012).

The Good Lord called his son, Pete McDonough home January 31,2012.  His life here on earth ended accidentally and tragically. He begins his new life in heaven purposely and magnificently. Purposely because it was God's plan to call him home. Magnificently, because he has seen the face of the Lord and now lives with him in paradise.

I can't begin to explain why God called Pete home in a sudden and tragic way.  But, I can tell you that it was God's plan, and God's plan is always the right plan.  Many will wonder why now, why so tragic. Those questions have no answers in our human existence.  There is no way that one could even begin to comprehend God's plan.  Unlike our earthly plans, God's plan is a divine plan.  Our earthly plans are subjected to external circumstances and our own human failings. Whereas, God's plans are executed with perfection and with divine intent.  It is in times of loss, sorrow, and pain that it is most important that our faith serves us and reminds us that God's plan is always the right plan.

The Dash tells us that each one of us has a beginning date and an ending date.  Our time between those dates (the dash) is both limited and precious.  Because we do not know when our ending time will come, time is our most valuable resource.  Time is not renewable and there are no "do overs."  You've heard it said, "What I do today is important, because I'm exchanging a day of my life for it."  The Dash also tells us, "What matters most is how we live and love, and how we spend our dash."  There is no doubt, Pete McDonough made the very best of his dash.

I did not get a chance to spend a great deal of time with Pete McDonough.  However, the time I spent with him was most enjoyable.  He was always friendly, upbeat, positive and looked for the good in people. Perhaps his most endearing quality was the way in which he made you feel special.  Pete McDonough had a gift.  A gift he shared with many.  To me, Pete was as person of  influence, not so much because he was well respected in the business and community circles.  But, because he was genuine, kind and cared about people.  Pete McDonough had a way of touching your heart.  I cannot think of a greater type of influence than to touch the heart of another.  When someone touches your heart, a part of them becomes a part of you; that's what you call influence.

Yes, it was God's plan.  January 30, 2012, Pete McDonough was called home.  Pete stood before our Heavenly Father, who took him into his arms, held him tightly and said  "Well done my son, well done!"

It may seem somewhat strange that a person who writes motivational and inspirational musings would venture off track and write about a topic that might be considered morose.  However,  I felt compelled to write about Pete McDonough.  Pete truly was a great guy and was an inspiration to many.  But more importantly, I write, because I'm one of those people that he made feel special.

Rest in Peace, Pete McDonough,
Rest in Peace!

***
Its your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

What Went Right?

"The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them."
- Jim Rohn

***
It’s bowl season, which means lots and lots of football! There will be winners and there will be losers. When the contest is over, one team will stay on the field to celebrate their triumph; the other team will sit in despair in a quiet locker-room, trying to figure out what went wrong. Winning a bowl game (or championship) is a goal that every football team sets out to achieve. Falling short of their goal, they will ponder: What went wrong?

What went wrong? Sure, the fans and media will have their own take. They will break down the game and speculate what “coulda” or “shoulda” been done differently. The players and coaches will question themselves. Was it preparation? Was it focus? Was it execution, or maybe something else? For the losing team, it may take days, weeks, maybe even months before the sting of defeat slowly begins to fade. That means days, weeks, or months wondering what went wrong.

When we fall short of a goal, it is important to ask ourselves what went wrong. Reflection is necessary so we can make adjustments that will put us in a better position to succeed the next time around. However, there is a much more important question needs to be asked: What went right? Falling short of a goal is no doubt disheartening. It doesn’t have to be though! Instead, shift your focus and ask yourself: What went right?

A problem with the goal setting process is there is too much emphasis on the end result and not enough on the process. Goal setting should be more about the pursuit and not so much about the result. Why? In some circumstances a goal may have been unrealistic. If you set an unrealistic goal, are you not setting yourself up for failure from the start? Most definitely, if you are only looking at the result. If you achieve a goal by engaging in unethical practices, did you accomplish your goal? Certainly, but then again, you are looking only at the result.

Eleven days into 2016!  How are you doing on your 2016 resolutions, or better yet your 2016 goals?   Are you still in active pursuit of your goals or has life got in the way of your goals and you’ve pretty much given up?  

Here’s a simple question for you - Can you fall short of a goal and consider the experience to be successful?  The answer - yes and no – not so simple after all!  If you look solely at the results the answer is no. You either accomplished the goal or you didn’t.  If you look at the pursuit of your goal the answer is yes.  In the big picture, it is the person you become in the pursuit of the goal that really counts. Instead of thinking results, reflect upon what the process has taught or is teaching you; more importantly, the person you have become because of the process.  The pursuit of any worthy goal should strengthen your character and make you a better you, regardless of the outcome.  

The following story illustrates the point of the importance of focusing on the journey and not so much the destination.  There once was a little boy and little girl who were allowed to choose a mutually agreed upon destination for their family's day trip.  During the ride, the boy's entire focus was on the destination.  He talked incessantly about where they were going and getting there as fast as they could.  Whenever a family member tried to get his attention to show him the interesting things that the journey offered, he completely ignored them.  He had no time for that, his focus was on reaching the destination.  When the family finally reached their destination, the little boy was sorely disappointed.  The spot was nothing like he imagined.  Overcome with frustration and anger, he pouted most of the day.  When it was time to return home, the little boy was emotionally drained.  He climbed into the car and fell fast asleep.  When the family arrived home, the little boy awoke and confessed, “This was the worst trip ever." His sister, on the other hand, exclaimed, “I think it was the best ever, I've never saw so many neat things along the way.”

As you continue pursuing your 2016 New Year’s resolutions (goals), make sure you focus on the journey and not so much the destination.  If you end up being disappointed with your result, remember to change your focus.  Don’t focus on the destination (the result)and ask what went wrong, focus on the journey and look for the things that went right along the way!


***
It’s your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

From Loser to Winner

“If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.”
-- Charles Schulz

***

The Story of Sparky:

For Sparky, school was arduous. He was not gifted academically, athletically, or socially. The 8th grade was especially difficult for Sparky; he failed every subject. While in high school, he flunked physics, Latin, algebra, and English. Sparky did not fare much better in sports. He appeared to his classmates as being socially awkward. It wasn’t that he was disliked by his peers; he just didn’t seem to fit in. Nobody ever went out of their way to include him. Outside of school, Sparky would be surprised if a classmate acknowledged him.

When it came to studies, sports and the social scene, Spark felt like a loser. However, there was one thing that Sparky felt particularly confident about; his drawing ability. Of course, no one else seemed to appreciate it. In his senior year of high school, he submitted some cartoons to the editors of the yearbook. The cartoons were turned down. Despite being rejected, Sparky was convinced that he had the ability to become a professional artist. Being an artist would be a great profession for Sparky. He could excel without the need for social interaction or additional schooling.

After completing high school, Sparky wrote a letter to Walt Disney Studios. Walt Disney Studios instructed him to send some samples of his artwork based upon a suggested theme for a cartoon. Sparky spent a great deal of time drawing the cartoon. Eventually, he completed it, submitted it, and waited patiently for a reply. Finally, the reply came from Disney Studios. He had been rejected once again; another loss in the long list of losses for the loser, Sparky.

Unwilling to give up on his dream of becoming a professional artist, Sparky decided to write his own autobiography in cartoons. Through cartoons he described his childhood as being a chronic underachiever, socially awkward, and feeling like a loser much of the time. His cartoon character, a self-image of his childhood, would one day become famous worldwide.

Sparky, the boy who failed over and over while in school and whose artwork was repeatedly rejected, was no other than Charles Schulz. Schultz was the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. The little cartoon character whose kite would never fly, who never succeeded in kicking a football and whose mantra was “good grief” is Charlie Brown. It is no wonder where Charlie Brown got his first name.

Thanks to the work of a young artist who refused to give up on his dream, A Charlie Brown Christmas premiered 46 years ago today. At the last moment, CBS thought about nixing the premier. It was believed that the audience might have a hard time identifying with a protagonist who was a loser. The show did air and has aired virtually ever year since its premier.

Charles Schulz’s life epitomizes that “in adversity lies opportunity.” Think of the millions of children, and adults for that matter, who have been entertained by Charlie Brown and company. Charles Schulz lived a life of rejection. Yet, he did not allow rejection to define him as an artist. What might have happened if Charles Schulz would have given up on his dream?

Charles Schulz’s life depicted in a comic strip teaches us life is hard and life is full of challenges, but in the end, things always seem to work out for the good. The next time you find yourself struggling or maybe feeling like you just don’t fit in, remember Sparky, the loser, who in time became a winner worldwide.

***
From A Charlie Brown Christmas:

Linus quotes the second chapter of the Gospel according to Luke, verses 8 through 14.

”8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. 12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and goodwill towards men.'"

"...And that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."***

It’s your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother!

“But I’m strong, strong enough to carry him. He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.”
-- performed by The Hollies (1969)

***
Are you strong? Are you in shape? Can you run a mile? How about running a ½ mile carrying another person? Sound like a lot of work? Not for Andover High School cross-country runner, Josh Ripley. This past September, Ripley was competing with his team in the Applejack Invite in Lakeville Minnesota. 261 competitors had entered the race. For Ripley, the race started out like any other race; ordinary until about a mile into the race when Josh heard the sound of someone in distress. After rounding a corner, Josh found fellow competitor, Mark Paulauskas, bleeding profusely and clutching his ankle. Paulauskas had been spiked (cleated) and was unable to walk. The runners ahead of Ripley were either too focused to notice Paulauskas or simply chose to ignore him.

The 6’5” Ripley scooped up the 5’5” Lakeville freshman into his arm and began running with him. Ripley asked Paulauskas if he could say a prayer for him. Paulauskas agreed. Paulauskas said that Ripley kept trying to assure Paulauskas that he would be alright. After running with Paulauskas for almost a ½ mile, Ripley was able to hand off the injured freshman to the Lakeville coach.

Ripley was in last place and considerably far behind the other runners when Paulauskas was handed off to Paulauskas' coach. Filled with adrenaline and a competitive spirit, Josh Ripley was determined to finish the race. Finish the race he did; he passed 50 runners on his way to the finish line. Ripley finished 211 out of 261 competitors.

Mark Paulauskas was taken to an emergency room and was given twenty stitches to close the wound. Paulauskas said he was incredibly grateful for Ripley’s act of compassion and selflessness. Some are lauding Ripley as a hero; a label that Ripley quickly discounts. Ripley said, “I did nothing special. I really feel I just did the right thing. Any of my teammates would have done the same thing. It wasn't an act of heroism. It was an act of kindness that I know I needed to accomplish."

Josh Ripley's story sounds familiar; it is a modern day Good Samaritan story. The runners who passed by Paulauskas are like the priest and Levite who ignored the injured traveler. Ripley is the Good Samaritan who "being moved with compassion" stopped to render assistance to a fellow man in need. (Luke 10:25-37)

I ask you: How many times have you turned a blind eye when someone was in need? With our busy lives it is not difficult to offer a variety of excuses why we cannot lend a hand to someone in need: "I'm too busy," "It will make me late," or "someone else will help them." What about the occasions where we were too preoccupied with our lives that we did not even notice someone in need? How many times have we missed the chance to do what Josh Ripley referred to as "The right thing?" Stopping to help someone in need is always the right thing; it may not be the easiest or the most popular thing to do; it might even disrupt your plans. But, one thing is for certain, the right thing is always the right thing to do. Ripley stopped to do the right thing. It most certainly cost him a chance to win the race. However, the true winner of the event was not the person who crossed the finish line first; the true winner was a competitor by the name of Ripley.

Today, take time to step outside of your world. When you do so, you will find plenty of opportunities for you to come to the aid of another. Remember, demonstrating compassion not only benefits a person in need; it makes you a better person and in turn the world a becomes a better place to live.

His welfare is my concern
no burden is he to bear
we'll get there

For I know
He would not encumber me
He aint heavy, he's my brother

- The Hollies

***
It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD