"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it."
~Fyodor Dostoevsky
***
A score is kept in athletic contests, recreational games and even most board games. Keeping score is nothing more than counting. The reason we keep score is to determine who wins. Dostoevsky is right on point! In the game of life, most people have a tendency to count and focus on losses (troubles) more so than wins (joys).
Counting troubles is negative thinking. Negative thinking produces negative results, which leads to more counting, more negative thinking, and more negative results. The cycle perpetuates itself. Understand, If you choose to count an event as troublesome, you are inviting more trouble into your life. Why? – Because negative thinking produces a negative expectation. We as humans do not like to be wrong, so we look to validate what we perceive (expect) to be true. If one begins with a negative expectation, one will immediately start looking for something negative in an event. It does not matter what happened or what did not happen, a negative person, not wanting to be wrong, will find the event as negative.
Keep in mind though, that an event is neither negative or positive. It is simply an event. An event is an objective occurrence. The value (positive or negative) we place on a event is subjective and is influenced by our expectation of the event (before) and the meaning we ascribe to the event (after). Negative people have a negative expectation, look for the negative, and will ascribe a negative meaning to the event. On the other hand, positive people expect positive, look for the positive, and will see the event as positive. How is it that two people can experience the exact same event and view it completely differently; one as positive and the other as negative? It is all a matter of choice!
Positive people face adversity too. Unlike the negative person, they choose to look for something good out of the adversity. Positive people live by three important principles when it comes to adversity: first, in every adversity there is something good; second, it is through adversity that growth and development takes place; and third, the good may not be evident for some time, nonetheless it is still there. So when adversity befalls a positive person, they choose to count the event as something good instead of something troubling.
If you need a little more convincing that the way you think influences your results, I urge you to contemplate the wisdom of King Solomon, “for as one thinks in his heart, so is he.” Think positive, be positive; think happy, be happy.
As life goes on, we will undoubtedly continue to keep score of our troubles and our joys. You will always win when you choose to focus on and count the joys. Remember, you are the scorekeeper in the game of life and you get to decide the outcome!
***
It's your life: Live it, Love it & Celebrate it!
MJD
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Furnishing the Mind
"A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself."
~Louis L'Amour
***
How will you furnish your mind? Will it be with thoughts of happiness, gratitude and achievement, or thoughts of sadness, lack and failure. Unlike furnishing a home, which is limited to what you can afford, your mind is not limited. It possess great power and potential. The key is too furnish it with the “right stuff.”
If things do not appear to be going right in your life, then it is time to get rid of some of the old furnishings to make room for new furnishings. Remember, you are the sole designer of your life, choose your furnishings wisely.
It's your life: Live it, Love it, & Celebrate it!
MJD
~Louis L'Amour
***
How will you furnish your mind? Will it be with thoughts of happiness, gratitude and achievement, or thoughts of sadness, lack and failure. Unlike furnishing a home, which is limited to what you can afford, your mind is not limited. It possess great power and potential. The key is too furnish it with the “right stuff.”
If things do not appear to be going right in your life, then it is time to get rid of some of the old furnishings to make room for new furnishings. Remember, you are the sole designer of your life, choose your furnishings wisely.
It's your life: Live it, Love it, & Celebrate it!
MJD
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
A Matter of Perspective
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, and a stranger into a friend.
~Melody Beattie
***
How was your Day? When asked, most people will respond without giving much thought. A typical response is “OK” or “Alright.” It is only when something extraordinary occurs that you might hear “Great.”
The next time someone asks you, “How was your day?” … Try not to respond with a rote response. Instead, respond enthusiastically with, “Great,” even if it does not appear that anything extraordinary happened. Why, respond so enthusiastically? … Because, your ordinary day is really an extraordinary day. It is all a matter of perspective.
When you woke up this morning, did you wake up in a bed, with a roof over your head? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t. Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a homeless person who sleeps under a card board box, one night’s sleep in your bed would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!
Were you able to get out of bed and get yourself dressed this morning? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a bed-ridden patient, getting up on your own and dressing yourself would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!
Did you have a choice regarding what you would eat today? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to someone starving in the streets, having food, let alone a choice of food, would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!
Are you able to see and hear nature’s beauty? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a blind person, watching the sun set would be a “great” experience; to a deaf person, listening to birds sing would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!
I could continue, but, I’m quite sure you get the picture. We have so many things to be thankful for. Yet, we seem to take them for granted. The sad truth is we really do not appreciate what we have until it is gone. And, when it is gone, it is too late. Another sad truth is spending so much time and energy chasing after all the things we don’t have, instead of being thankful for the things we do have. Stop the chase, be thankful and enjoy what you have. You already live like royalty. Don’t believe me, just ask a person residing in a third-world country. It is all a matter of perspective.
If we think about it, we really have been blessed abundantly. The Good Book tells us, “give thanks always and in everything.” For it is when we are thankful for our blessings that an ordinary day is transformed into an extraordinary day. So the next time you are asked, “How was your day?” you will have a multitude of reasons to enthusiastically state “Today was Great!”
***
It's your life: Live it, Love it, & Celebrate it!
MJD
~Melody Beattie
***
How was your Day? When asked, most people will respond without giving much thought. A typical response is “OK” or “Alright.” It is only when something extraordinary occurs that you might hear “Great.”
The next time someone asks you, “How was your day?” … Try not to respond with a rote response. Instead, respond enthusiastically with, “Great,” even if it does not appear that anything extraordinary happened. Why, respond so enthusiastically? … Because, your ordinary day is really an extraordinary day. It is all a matter of perspective.
When you woke up this morning, did you wake up in a bed, with a roof over your head? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t. Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a homeless person who sleeps under a card board box, one night’s sleep in your bed would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!
Were you able to get out of bed and get yourself dressed this morning? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a bed-ridden patient, getting up on your own and dressing yourself would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!
Did you have a choice regarding what you would eat today? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to someone starving in the streets, having food, let alone a choice of food, would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!
Are you able to see and hear nature’s beauty? Seems pretty ordinary doesn’t it? Why, because we take it for granted. But, to a blind person, watching the sun set would be a “great” experience; to a deaf person, listening to birds sing would be a “great” experience. It is all a matter of perspective!
I could continue, but, I’m quite sure you get the picture. We have so many things to be thankful for. Yet, we seem to take them for granted. The sad truth is we really do not appreciate what we have until it is gone. And, when it is gone, it is too late. Another sad truth is spending so much time and energy chasing after all the things we don’t have, instead of being thankful for the things we do have. Stop the chase, be thankful and enjoy what you have. You already live like royalty. Don’t believe me, just ask a person residing in a third-world country. It is all a matter of perspective.
If we think about it, we really have been blessed abundantly. The Good Book tells us, “give thanks always and in everything.” For it is when we are thankful for our blessings that an ordinary day is transformed into an extraordinary day. So the next time you are asked, “How was your day?” you will have a multitude of reasons to enthusiastically state “Today was Great!”
***
It's your life: Live it, Love it, & Celebrate it!
MJD
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Life's Urgent Question
“Life's most urgent question is, what are you doing for others?”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
***
There are two key words in life’s most urgent question: “are” and “doing.” “Are” is present tense, not past tense or future tense. “Are” means now; not what you have done or what your are planning to do The other word is “ Doing.” “Doing” is action. Life’s urgent question does not ask, what are you thinking about doing for others? No, the question focuses on action.
Life poses many, many questions for us. So why is this particular question the most urgent of all life’s questions? Because, right now somebody is in need of your help. All too often, we are so busy with ourselves that we neglect to see others in need. We develop tunnel vision, rushing from here to there and there to here, right smack in our own little worlds. Right now, somebody needs you! It is time you step outside of yourself and take a look around. Somebody needs a smile, a pat on the back, a hand to hold, a listening ear. Somebody needs your time, your talent, your treasure. Remember, when you lift someone else up, you lift yourself up as well. When two people are lifted up, two people win! And, when two people win as a result of an act of kindness, the world becomes a better place.
The Good Book tells us, “Let us not love with words or speech but with action and in truth” (1 John 3:18). So, I now ask you, what ARE you DOING for others?
***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
***
There are two key words in life’s most urgent question: “are” and “doing.” “Are” is present tense, not past tense or future tense. “Are” means now; not what you have done or what your are planning to do The other word is “ Doing.” “Doing” is action. Life’s urgent question does not ask, what are you thinking about doing for others? No, the question focuses on action.
Life poses many, many questions for us. So why is this particular question the most urgent of all life’s questions? Because, right now somebody is in need of your help. All too often, we are so busy with ourselves that we neglect to see others in need. We develop tunnel vision, rushing from here to there and there to here, right smack in our own little worlds. Right now, somebody needs you! It is time you step outside of yourself and take a look around. Somebody needs a smile, a pat on the back, a hand to hold, a listening ear. Somebody needs your time, your talent, your treasure. Remember, when you lift someone else up, you lift yourself up as well. When two people are lifted up, two people win! And, when two people win as a result of an act of kindness, the world becomes a better place.
The Good Book tells us, “Let us not love with words or speech but with action and in truth” (1 John 3:18). So, I now ask you, what ARE you DOING for others?
***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The Whole Orange
"If I do not speak in a language that can be understood there is little chance for a dialogue." ~Bell Hooks
***
Two ladies found themselves quarreling over an orange. They both protested they needed it more than the other. Both were convinced they had there hands on the orange first and intended to buy before the other. Refusing to give in to the other, they eventually agreed to split the orange in half. The first lady ate the fruit and threw the peel away. The second lady used the peel in a recipe and tossed the fruit away. Both ladies could have got what they wanted (the whole orange), if they would have effectively communicated.
Are you getting only half of the orange because you are not communicating effectively? Miscommunication leads to misunderstanding. Misunderstandings can cause a fight, divorce and even war. Never assume that another person knows how you feel or what you are thinking. You are not being fair to yourself or another if you are not speaking what you think and feel. You are not being true to yourself and you are misrepresenting yourself to someone else. A word of caution, just as the “Good Book” tells us there is a time for everything, there is a time and a place to tell someone how you think and feel. A good communicator not only knows the time and the place, but waits for the appropriate time and place to deliver the message. In addition, a skilled communicator will deliver a message in terms that the recipient will understand, not in terms that is understood only by the sender.
Today, commit to becoming a better communicator: read a book on communication, attend a seminar, or observe others who are good communicators. When you learn how to effectively communicate your wants, needs, dreams and desires, you are that much closer to getting “the whole orange.”
It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it
MJD
***
Two ladies found themselves quarreling over an orange. They both protested they needed it more than the other. Both were convinced they had there hands on the orange first and intended to buy before the other. Refusing to give in to the other, they eventually agreed to split the orange in half. The first lady ate the fruit and threw the peel away. The second lady used the peel in a recipe and tossed the fruit away. Both ladies could have got what they wanted (the whole orange), if they would have effectively communicated.
Are you getting only half of the orange because you are not communicating effectively? Miscommunication leads to misunderstanding. Misunderstandings can cause a fight, divorce and even war. Never assume that another person knows how you feel or what you are thinking. You are not being fair to yourself or another if you are not speaking what you think and feel. You are not being true to yourself and you are misrepresenting yourself to someone else. A word of caution, just as the “Good Book” tells us there is a time for everything, there is a time and a place to tell someone how you think and feel. A good communicator not only knows the time and the place, but waits for the appropriate time and place to deliver the message. In addition, a skilled communicator will deliver a message in terms that the recipient will understand, not in terms that is understood only by the sender.
Today, commit to becoming a better communicator: read a book on communication, attend a seminar, or observe others who are good communicators. When you learn how to effectively communicate your wants, needs, dreams and desires, you are that much closer to getting “the whole orange.”
It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it
MJD
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Choose Wisely My Friend
Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.
~W. Clement Stone
***
Look no further than your current environment and you associations to determine what is important to you and what you have become. If your not happy with your current life, there is good news; you can choose to change. Since you have created your current circumstance(s) by the choices you have made regarding your environment and associations, you can also choose a different environment and different associations. A change may be exactly what you need to bring out the very best in you. Choose wisely my friend – our environment and friends really do shape us!
***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD
~W. Clement Stone
***
Look no further than your current environment and you associations to determine what is important to you and what you have become. If your not happy with your current life, there is good news; you can choose to change. Since you have created your current circumstance(s) by the choices you have made regarding your environment and associations, you can also choose a different environment and different associations. A change may be exactly what you need to bring out the very best in you. Choose wisely my friend – our environment and friends really do shape us!
***
It's Your Life: Live it, Love it, Celebrate it!
MJD
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