To a Child Love is Spelled T-I-M-E

“Our greatest danger in life is permitting the urgent things to crowd out the important things.”
- Charles E. Hummel

Each summer, I ask my son to make a list of things that he would like for us to do together. The activities range from riding a roller coaster, to fishing, to catching fireflies, to going to a Detroit Tiger Baseball game. My son loves to play miniature golf. Hence, miniature golf is on the list. Last night after playing miniature golf with my son, I had one of those defining moments in my life. It came as we were riding home together in the car. My son said to me, “Dad, I would rather hang out with you than my friends.” That statement made my day. Now, I know that he won’t feel that way forever; for in the future his friends will be the focal point of his life. But for the moment, I’m enjoying every minute of it.

The defining moment was the realization of how important it is to make time for your children. Making time for your child is a win/win situation. Sure, cutting the grass or paying the bills will have to wait for another day. However, by setting aside a little time for my son, we both got a chance to give a gift to each other.

In the book, To a Child Love is Spelled T-I-M-E, written by Mac Anderson and Lance Wubbels, the authors tell of a story of an old man who is rummaging through things in the attic when he comes across a journal written by his son, when his son was a little boy. As he reads each account, he could almost hear the voice of the little boy that grew up way too fast. The journal was like magic and transported the old man back to a time he had almost forgotten. As he reads on, the old man can't help but realize how his child’s recollections of things were different than his. Reading his son's journal reminded the man that he too kept a journal; yet, his was for his business activities. The old man searches for his journal only to find it in a dusty old box. Sitting down, the old man begins reading entries from both journals. His eyes well up in tears when he reads an inscription in his journal that says, “Wasted the whole day fishing with Jimmy. Didn’t catch a thing.” With a deep sigh he reads the entry from Jimmy’s journal for the same day. In large scrawling letters, the inscription read, “Went fishing with dad. Best day of my life.”

To a child your time is love. It has been said that the most important things in life are not things. Children would rather have your time more so than a collection of things. Children learn life lessons from your time spent with them; not from things. The time you give your child is the foundation of your relationship and shapes their future. The song, Cats in the Cradle, released in 1974 by Harry Chapin, tells of how a father is too busy to spend time with his son. Even though the father is too busy for his son, the son nonetheless, grows up admiring his father and wanting to be like him. As the years pass, the father, a lonely old man, yearns to spend time with his son only to find out that his son is too busy to spend time with him. The song concludes with the father sadly realizing that his boy had become just like him: “And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me. He'd grown up just like me. My boy was just like me.”

Remember, telling your child you love them doesn’t guarantee that your child feels love. You have to demonstrate it through action. The old cliché’ is right on point: “actions speak louder than words.” If you want your child to feel loved, spend quality with them.

In your busy schedule, it’s not likely that you’ll “find” time to spend with your child; you have to “make” time. Time given to a child will inevitably shape their life. Hence, your time is a gift that keeps giving. It’s also a gift you’ll never regret giving. The rewards you receive from giving the gift of time are immeasurable

Last night, I spent a few hours of my time in the evening with my son, and in return, it made my day!

It's Your Life: live it, love it celebrate it