Choices, Choices, Choices

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

 -  Denis Waitley

***

We make lots and lots of choices each day!  What did you decide to wear today?  What did have for breakfast?  What will you do this evening?  Most of the choices we make are routine choices.  They’re decisions we make that don’t require much thought.  Occasionally, we’ll find ourselves in a situation where we have to make a choice that can be life-changing.   Most times, these are difficult decisions that require significant time, research and analysis.  If we only had a crystal ball or even the slightest glimpse into the future, just think how much easier and less stressful it would be on us when making a choice.

All of us are faced with having to make the exact same choice every day.  To most, It’s a  choice that they won’t give any thought to.  Unfortunately for those people, they don’t recognize it is the most important choice they’re going to make for the day.  Each day, we all must choose whether we are going to accept conditions as they exist or will we accept the responsibility for changing them? 

If you’re looking to make some changes in your life (conditions), the only way to do so is to make a conscious choice to do so.   Don’t allow the most important choice you’re going to make each day to become just another routine choice.  Instead, today is the day to make the choice to commit to asking yourself each morning when you arise, “Am I a going to accept conditions as they are or am I going to accept responsibility for changing them?”   If you want to live a happier and more fulfilled life, to me, the choice is quite clear!

It's your life: live it, love it,& celebrate it!
MJD

A Different Look

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.

- Wayne W. Dyer

***

Life is a matter of perspective!  How is it that two people can experience the exact same thing, yet come away with a completely different experience?  It is not the event/circumstance that determines the experience it is the way you look at the event/circumstance that gives it its meaning: positive or negative, significant or insignificant, fulfilling or unfulfilling, etc.   

So, if you really want things in your life to change, you must first change the way you look at things.   You can do this by recognizing that no matter what event/circumstance you’re enduring, others have it much worse than you.  When, you decide to look at your event/circumstance this way, it puts things in perspective.   Recognizing that others are enduring much more significant pain, loss, anxiety, and discomfort puts an immediate end to your “pity party.”

Next, stop telling yourself, “I have to” and start telling yourself, “I get to.”   When you have to do something it is an obligation.  When you get to do something it is a privilege.  You don’t “have to” go to work, you “get to” go to work.  Think of all the people who are struggling to find a job, they would love the privilege of earning a day’s wages.  You don’t “have to” clean the house, you “get to” clean the house.  Think of the homeless, wishing for one night’s sleep in a comfortable bed with a roof above their head, or the person confined to a wheelchair who would love to have the opportunity to clean the house just one more time. I hope your getting the picture.

And finally, if you’ve been playing the victim role, its time to give it up.  Absent events that are completely outside of your control, which are few and far between, you are responsible for your decisions and consequences in your life.  When you’re a victim, you’re not capable of changing the way you look at things.  Why?  Because, a victim believes they’re helpless to the events/circumstance occurring around them.  When you stop playing the victim role, you’ll soon find yourself in a position to change the way you look at things. And, when you change the way you look at things, things change!   

So there you have it, life is a matter of perspective!  Your perspective!  So if your life does not seem to be measuring up right now, maybe it is about time to change the way you look at things. 

I urge you to try a different look – you just might be surprised at what you find!

It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!

MJD 

Mouth Management

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. 
~ Attributed to Plato

POINT TO PONDER: 

The wise are adept at managing their mouth.  They know when to speak, what to say, and how to say it.  The foolish, on the other hand, have a reckless mouth.  They speak out of selfishness.  Feeling compelled to hear themselves speak, their timing, content and/or presentation is ineffective.  Remember, The Good Book tells us, “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble” (Proverbs 21:23).   Today, be like the wise and start managing your mouth.  I ask you: the next time you speak will you have something to say or will you have to say something?

It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

Problem Solved

Believe that problems do have answers, that they can be overcome, and that we can solve them.

~Norman Vincent Peale

***

George Dantzig was a doctoral student at University of California, Berkely in 1939.  Having overslept for his statistics class, he walked into class late and noticed two statistical problems on the blackboard.  Unbeknown to him, the problems were open questions ( a problem that can be accurately stated, but has yet to been solved).  The two problems had stumped several of the greatest mathematicians throughout the years.  Dantzig thought that the “homework” problems were a little more difficult than usual, but nonetheless set out to complete the “homework assignment.”  Dantzig completed the “homework assignment and apologized to his professor for taking so to complete the assignment.  A few weeks later, Dantzig was contacted by an overly excited professor who advised Dantzig that he had just solved one of the most famous unsolved problems in field of statistics and that he had prepared Dantzig's solution for publication in a mathematical journal. 

George Dantzig admitted that had he known that the two problems were considered unsolvable problems, he never would have attempted to solve them.  He would have thought that since several “great minds” were unable to solve the problems, why should he try. 

POINT TO PONDER:  Problems do have answers, even one’s that are thought to be open problems (unsolvable).  Relationship problems, work problems, financial problems do have answers.  All problems have answers; you just have to believe there is an answer and go to work on solving it. Dantzig was able to solve a problem that was considered unsolvable because he did not allow negative thinking to dissuade him from trying.  All too often, when we face difficult situations in our life, we allow negative thinking to dictate our outcomes: “it’s too hard,” “it will never work,” or “nothing ever changes.”  This type of thinking only perpetuates the problem.  Plain and simple, we don’t solve many of our problems because we don’t believe we can.  Lacking belief, we develop and adaptive style and allow a problem to plague us until we finally decide do something about it.  Most times, people do nothing about a problem but complain.  Complaining is negative thinking that only manifests itself in maintaining status quo.  I have never heard of a problem being solved by complaining. 

Problems do have answers!  They are solved with positive thinking.  So the next time one of those (unsolvable) problems creep into your life, I want you to remember George Dantzig and how he solved the unsolvable problem.  Dantzig solved the problem because he believed that he could.  When you believe you’re capable of doing something, you’ll find yourself in a world where nothing is unsolvable. 

Problem(s) Solved!

Its your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it
MJD

Love Heals All Wounds

“I’ve learned that love, not time, heals all wounds.”

-- Andy Rooney

***

I know people who have been carrying around a grudge for a long, long time.   It is evident that time has not healed their wounds.  Somebody said something, did not say something, did something, or did not do something that has forever changed a relationship.  People expect that time will take care of things.  It does not!  Time does not really heal.  Time has a way of repressing things, but the hurt, disappointment, and/or rejection never completely go away with time alone.    

Time by itself does not heal a wound.  The prescription for healing a wound is the right amount of time and a strong dose of love.  If you feel that someone has done you wrong,  you’ll never fully heal until you find it in your heart to forgive.  True forgiveness is an act of love.  I do not subscribe to the old cliché “forgive and forget.”  I don’t believe that you can ever forget that a hurtful act took place, but if you truly forgive the person, then the act becomes insignificant. 

With 10 days into the new year we’ve had time to say good-bye to 2012.  Hopefully, we’ve welcomed 2013 with hopes and dreams for a better year.  It’s not possible to have a better year with old wounds that have yet to heal.  This year, I encourage you to add forgiveness to your New Years Resolution list - it's not too late.  There are so many things in life that we do not have control over.  But, one thing is for sure, we have control over home much love we wish to spread.  This year identify people in your life that you need to forgive and go to work on forgiving them.   You have the power to create a win/win situation; forgive someone and I guarantee you that you’ll make two people feel better in the process.

Remember, it is love that really heals all wounds!

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!
MJD

Leaving the Harbor

"A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for."

- John A. Shedd

***

A ship is meant to travel, be it with people or goods.  On some days a ship will meet turbulent seas, while on other days, the seas are idly calm.  Nonetheless, it is when a ship leaves the harbor that it fulfills it's purpose.   Like a ship, you won't be able to fulfill your purpose, if you never leave your harbor.  You'll never find new adventures or great opportunities if you're not willing to set sail. 

Today, pick something that will take you out of your comfort zone (the harbor).  You don't have to journey too far.  Just the willingness to leave the harbor marks the  beginning of the realization of your hopes, dreams, and desires. 

You're the captain of your own ship and you can take it anywhere you desire.  You were built for success.  However, like a ship, you cannot fulfill your purpose if you're not willing to leave the safety of the harbor.

In the words of Mark Twain," So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover."

Bon voyage!

Its your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

***

Furnish It Well!

"A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself."

-- Louis L'Amour

***

How will you furnish your mind?  Will it be with thoughts of happiness, gratitude and achievement, or thoughts of sadness, lack and failure.  Unlike furnishing a home, which is limited to what you can afford, your mind is not limited.  It possesses great power and potential.  The key is too furnish it with the “right stuff.” 

If things do not appear to be going right in your life, then it is time to get rid of some of the old furnishings to make room for some new furnishings.  Remember, you are the sole designer of your life, so choose your furnishings wisely. 

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it!

- MJD