The Pickup Game

Whoever wants to understand much must play much.”

-Gottfried Benn

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Once and awhile, I’ll see a group of kids, outside, together playing a sport. When I see such a thing, I pause to "stroll down memory lane." When I was young, we called those gatherings, a “pickup game.” Back in the day, you could find a pickup game in just about every neighborhood. Play, play, play – that’s what we did.” “Pickup games” were a way of life for us.

The seasons of the year dictated the type of “pickup game.” During the school year, we would race home, change clothes, hurry out the door to choose teams. There were a variety of methods for choosing teams; some strategic and some as random as “bubble-gum, bubble-gum in a dish.” We would play, and play, and play, pausing only for dinner. The rule was no late dinners. If you wanted to eat, you ate with the family – no exceptions! When dinner was over, we had to ask to be excused. Upon being excused, we would race out the door to pick up where we had left off. Occasionally, we would hear “not so fast, it’s your turn for dishes.” Reluctantly, we would do the dishes with a half-hearted demeanor and spirit. It was important to get back to the game. Most times, by the time the dishes were put away, you would find that the game had resumed and your spot had been filled by another neighborhood kid. When we were younger, “pickup games” ended when the streetlights came on.  As we grew older, games ended when light gave way to darkness and we could see no more.

“Pickup games” dominated our weekends and summers. From sunup to sundown, you could find us in a backyard, a driveway, a street, a playground, or a parking lot. Where we played did not matter. What matter was that we were together and we were playing! We took risks! However, the risks were well worth it. We broke windows and broke bones. When a window broke, the guilty party assumed responsibility, sheepishly apologized and offered to pay for the window. We did not have much money, so that meant raiding the “piggy bank” and doing extra chores. We knew that our broken bones would heal. However, the healing period was what really hurt. Even though you felt “cool” wearing a cast covered with your friends and classmates' signatures, sitting out and being a spectator absolutely “killed” us.

Oh, the things we learned from “pickup games.” Pickup games” are an educational system in their own right. It has been said, “The best teachers in life are our own experiences.” And, “boy” did "pickup games” teach a thing or two about life.

“Pickup games” taught us conflict resolution skills. In “pickup games” there are no parents making decisions or referees to decide a contested call. We discussed, debated, argued, and on a rare occasion, even a punch was thrown. Nonetheless, we came to an agreement, and the game went on.

“Pickup games” taught us to be resourceful. We made the best of what we had. No fields or gyms were available to us. We lived in the city. Hence, we made our own fields and gyms. Sometimes the rules were changed to fit the playing venue – “down and back four times (in a backyard) equals a touchdown,” “right field is closed,” and the “telephone wire is a re-do.” We were creative and improvised. Bicycles were used as backstops. Paper plates or paper bags were used as bases. Street curbs were out-of-bounds markers, and manhole covers were designated as goal lines. Nothing was out of the question and nothing would stop us.

“Pickup games” taught us the value of teamwork. Team assignments changed often. There were no coaches to direct the team. We directed ourselves. We learned the strengths and weaknesses of our friends/neighbors both on and off the court/field. We complimented, counseled, and even critiqued our teammates. We would talk about some of the great plays of the day and discussed the things we needed to do to get better.

“Pickup games” taught us to be inclusive. If you showed up, you got to play. We learned that not everyone was a good as you and you were not as good as others were. We learned we are different. We learned the differences between people, families, and lifestyles. We learned that as much as we were different, we were very much the same.

“Pickup games” taught us humility. When you play thousands of games, you win a lot, and you lose a lot. You learn how to be both a good winner and a loser. We learned early on that you are only as good as your next game. When you won, you won; when you lost, you lost; and nobody said anything about it. The focus was always on the next game. There was no bragging, boasting, or taunting. We knew that our success was short-lived and the next game could bring a different outcome. Your performance in a game was self-analyzed. There was no self-glorification or no self-deprecation. Self-analysis was always about what do I need to do to get better.

“Pickup games” were our lives. We played, and played, and played. We invested lots of time and energy in “pickup games.” I know from experience the value of “pickup games. Hence, it warms my heart to see kids outside playing a “pickup game.” I know that the combination of the outdoors, a ball, and friends will teach them some of life’s most valuable lessons and a lesson or two about themselves.

It’s your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD