The Car Accident

"Within every adversity is an equal or greater opportunity."
- Napoleon Hill

***

It has been said that the events that occur in your life are neither good nor bad; they’re simply events. Its a person perception of the event that makes the event good, bad, or somewhere in between. For example, how is it that two people can experience the same thing, yet feel differently about the event? It’s because our perception of an event is influenced by our attitude. Attitudes are derived from thought. Thoughts control our perceptions. Plain and simple; think positive thoughts and you’ll perceive positive outcomes; think negative thoughts and you’ll perceive negative outcomes. Remember it’s you, and you alone, that will determine whether an event is good or bad. You have the power, at anytime; to turn what may have been perceived as a bad event into a good event.

A friend of mine got into a car accident the other day. My friend had never been in accident before and had never received a traffic citation prior to the accident. My friend continually groused about how the accident had inconvenienced him. He complained about the cost of the ticket. He complained about police officers and the court system. He complained about the towing company, the body shop and the rental car. He complained about the cost of the citation and how he never has any money. For there, he went on to complain about his job, his boss, his marriage and everything else he could think of. He was on the complaint train and he had no intention of getting off anytime soon. My friend’s perception of the car accident was completely negative. The more he allowed his negative thinking to determine the outcome of the event, the more negative he became about the event, and the more negative he became about things completely unrelated to the event.

My friend doesn’t understand the power of positive thinking. You see, he believes happiness is contingent upon external events and circumstances. His happiness is dictated by his perception of the events and circumstances that that take place in his life. Being a negative person, his predominant mode of thinking is negative. Hence, most events and circumstances in his life are perceived as negative.

The power of positive thinking dictates that your thoughts not only create the positive perception of an event, they actually create the positive circumstance and events that occur in you life. Because of your positive thinking, you begin to attract positive people and positive events into your life. That’s not to say that unfortunate events don’t occur in the life of a positive thinking person; they do. The difference is a positive person looks for something good contained in the event; an opportunity or lesson to be learned. The positive thinking person lives Napoleon Hill’s quote, “Within every adversity is an equal or greater opportunity.” I told my friend that if he looked hard enough, he would find an opportunity or lesson from the car accident. But, it wouldn’t be until he was willing to view the event from a different perspective. Research has demonstrated that it’s impossible for a person to hold a negative thought and a positive thought simultaneously. As long as he continued to think negatively, he wasn’t capable of seeing something positive.

Remember, a car accident is an event; neither good, nor bad. It’s our perception of the event that makes it good, bad or somewhere in between. How does one find good from a car accident? The good comes from realizing that things could have been much worse. It comes from being grateful that no one was critically injured or killed. The good comes from realizing how fortunate you are to have financial means to own a vehicle (one to get into an accident with) when so many people can’t afford a car, because of unemployment or low wages. The good comes from realizing that you’re healthy enough to operate a motor vehicle when so many people have disabilities that prevent them from taking care of themselves, let alone drive a car. A car accident can be a catalyst for appreciating what you really have in their life. It can be a “gut check” about taking things and people for granted. A car accident can be a positive experience, if we choose to perceive it that way. Besides lessons, a car accident also holds opportunity. Anytime you meet someone new, whether it is directly or indirectly related to an event, there exists the possibility that new doors will open for us. Any time an event forces you to experience something out of the ordinary, you have the potential to learn something new.

How about you? Are you controlled by the external events that occur in your life? Are you apt to immediately think or respond negatively when things don’t go your way? Or, do look for the opportunity or lesson to be learned from the event. Remember, an event remains negative by your own choosing. An unfortunate event will always remain an unfortunate event until your willing to look for the good that it holds.

It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

David vs Goliath

"If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it, even if I did not have the ability in the beginning."
—Mahatma Gandhi

***

During a recent football game, I gave a half-time talk focusing on the biblical theme of David and Goliath. Our opponent was bigger, faster and stronger. I informed the team this game was David vs Goliath type event. Because of the physical stature and skills of our opponent, people would not give us a chance. I advised the players that it doesn’t matter what other people think. What does matter; is what we think. I explained that in life, we cannot allow the opinions of others to determine our destiny. We must determine our own destiny.

I reminded the players of how the Philistine giant, Goliath mocked the Israelites and incessantly challenged them to fight. Because of his enormous stature, Goliath seemed invincible. Being terrified, no one among the Israelites would accept his challenge. Hence, Goliath was relentless in belittling the Israelites until a young boy named, David accepted Goliath’s challenge. Refusing to done armor, David set off to defeat Goliath with a slingshot and stones. With his slingshot and a single stone, David knocked the giant unconscious. David drew Goliath’s sword and killed him.

I told the team David was successful in smiting Goliath because: 1) he outsmarted Goliath, 2) he was disciplined, 3) he believed in himself and had faith in God, and 4) he had passion; something to fight for.

David outsmarted Goliath by not donning a suit of armor. David knew that donning a suit of armor would be cumbersome. Seeing that David was not suited in armor, Goliath mocked David and grossly underestimated David’s ability. David was skilled with his slingshot. He developed his skill and confidence through disciplined practice. Because of David’s skill and his faith in God, David was confident that he would prevail. He walked confidently into battle, casting out all doubt and fear. David refused to think about anything but defeating Goliath. David was willing to put his life on the line for something he believed in. David’s WHY was big enough to spur the action that needed to be taken.

How about you? What do you do when you’re faced with a daunting challenge or a significant problem? What are the Goliaths in your life? Is it your job, school, work, a relationship, an addiction, financial problems or other another challenge? Are you like the Israelites, who cowered and accepted their present state of affairs? Or, are you like David and ready to accept the challenge?

If you’re willing to accept your challenges, follow the lessons David taught us. Are you prepared? Have you done your homework? Have you developed the necessary skills through a disciplined practice regimen? Are you mentally tough? Do you believe in yourself? Do you have faith that God is at your side? Is your WHY big enough?

Without action, our Goliaths will continue to get bigger and become more intimidating as time passes. The more we cower like the Israelites, the more our Goliaths have influence over our lives. Most times, it’s fear that creates our Goliaths and it’s a lack of belief in ourselves that allows our Goliaths to get bigger and bigger. In reality, the things we fear are often unfounded. Research has shown that less than five percent of the things we fear actually come true. So, logic would dictate that if we have the power to create and nurture our Goliaths; we have the power to conquer them too. Now is the time to take your Goliaths head on.

It was David’s belief that propelled him to victory, the slingshot and the stones were simply a means to the victory. In your life, the slingshot and stones represent your resources; talents, skills and abilities. What’s most important is that you believe that can accomplish anything with your resources. If a young boy, armed only with a sling shot, a few stones and big belief can defeat a giant, just think of the things you can do, once you believe!

Goliaths beware!

It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD

A Practice They'll Never Forget

Character is doing what is right when nobody's looking.
-J.C. Watts, Jr.

Football is a physical game. It requires strength, speed and skill. Football is a mental game too. It requires discipline, mental toughness and mental preparation. Recently, my junior high football team lost a close game. It wasn’t due to the physical part of the game as both teams were equally matched. The loss resulted from a lack of mental preparation. We fell behind early in the game, because we were not prepared to play at the start of the game. The lack of preparation resulted from a distracting bus ride to the game. As a player, the bus ride to the game is the pinnacle of mental preparation. It’s a time for solitude manifested through prayer, self-reflection and mental rehearsal.

My assistant coaches, who rode the bus to the game, advised me that we had players fooling around on the bus. These players were not mentally preparing themselves for the game, and the result was a distraction for the other players. The following day at practice, I advised the team that I was not upset with the loss, as much as I was upset that we were not ready to play, and it showed! I informed the team that I was bothered that a few players chose to disrupt the bus ride. However, what was more troublesome to me was that 38 other players lacked the initiative to “do the right thing.” I informed them that people generally fail to "do the right thing" for one of four reasons: 1) fear – they lack the fortitude to confront the issue; 2) bystander apathy - they believe someone else will address it; 3) they simply don’t care; or 4) it’s so much easier to not have to do the right thing.

Participating in a sport provides an athlete an opportunity to learn several lessons about life. Besides teaching the fundamentals of a sport, it’s equally important to me as a coach that I teach fundamentals about life. The “bus ride” provided me with an opportunity to teach a lesson about life. At the beginning of our next practice, the team was told the entire practice would consist of grueling conditioning drills. I advised them that their lack of initiative to "do the right thing" had personal consequences as well team consequences. I told them that in our society when someone witnesses an injustice and doesn’t “do the right thing,” their inaction not only weakens the fabric of society, but it also weakens their character. I asked them if a friend is picking on a classmate, would they have the fortitude to “do the right thing?” What about if someone was spreading rumors; would they "do the right thing?" I told them that it was my intent that the practice would serve as a reminder to them to always “do the right thing.” Prior to starting the conditioning drills, I said, “Team, I guarantee this will be a practice you’ll never forget.

As practice progressed the team was showing signs of fatigue. Midway through practice, a player by the name of Tyler asked to speak to me. Tyler advised me that he tried to stop the players from fooling around, but they would not listen to him. He apologized to me because he felt that maybe he could have done more. An assistant coach verified that he saw Tyler try to talk to the players fooling around. Tyler was told that the grueling nature of the practice was not an attempt to punish anyone. Instead, the practice was designed to teach each player a lesson about “doing the right thing.” Tyler was advised that because he tried to do the “right thing,” he could be dismissed from practice. Tyler responded, “Coach, this a team and I’m doing every drill with my team.” Tyler stayed at practice and participated in the remaining drills with his team.

At the end of practice, while addressing the team, I told the team that Tyler and I talked about his conversation with the players foolinhg around. His disclosure was not an attempt to get out of the conditioning drills. Rather, he offered me an apology for not doing more. The team was told that Tyler had the option to be dismissed from practice because he tried to “do the right thing,” but he declined to do so because he was part of the team and team hadn’t finished practice. The team was advised that Tyler had a true understanding of what teamwork is all about: it’s never about one player, it’s always about the team. Tyler opted to endure the difficult conditioning drills for the sake of his team. Once again, Tyler “did the right thing.”

Tyler, an eighth grader, demonstrates what many adults lack today; that being character. Are we willing to put our teams, be it family, work teams or civic teams, above our own interests? Are you willing to take the initiative to do what is right, despite the consequences. I have no doubt, that as an adult, Tyler will become successful in his professional, personal and civic life. Why? Because Tyler “Gets it.”

In concluding my address to the team, I asked each player to tell the team what they learned from the practice. It was inspiring to listen to the words of young men who learned a few lessons about life that day. Most of the players talked about embracing hard work, the need for preparation, finishing strong, teamwork and more importantly, the importance of "doing the right thing."

And, by the way, since that practice, I keep hearing from the players, "Coach, that was a practice "I'll never forget."
Neither will I!

It's your life: live it, love it, & celebrate it
MJD