"Everything comes to late for those who only wait."
- Elbert Hubbard
The Amazing Story of an Elderly Woman Named Rose
- author unknown
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married,have a couple of kids...""No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated you to be taking on this challenge at your age." "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk non-stop. I was always mesmerised listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know. "As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only our secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight years old. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets. "She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
How about you? Are you just growing older? Listen to the advice from Rose: Everyone grows old, but only those that choose to live their life can grow up. Now go out there and started living!
Its your life: live it, love it & celebrate it
MJD
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Who Are You Really Hurting?
In 1971 the Undisputed Truth recorded Smiling Faces Sometimes. The song was originally recorded by the Temptations. The song reached as high as number three on Billboard's Hot 100. A year later, The O'Jays recorded Backstabbers. Ironically, the song also reached as high as number three on Billboard's Hot 100.
In Backstabbers, the lyrics state:
What they do!
They smile in your face
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
In Smiling Faces Sometimes, the lyrics state:
Smiling faces, sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
The songs tell us of the reality of backstabbing. Backstabbers make it a point to satisfy their ego at the expense of others. Outwardly, they may appear friendly. However, because of a strong need to satisfy their ego, they go out of their way to satisfy their needs at the expense of others.
How about you? Are you guilty of being a backstabber? Do you talk about others behind their back? If you do, your doing more harm to yourself than the person your talking about. Think about the reasons that people talk negatively about others: they're jealous, they're vengeful, they feel inferior or they're frustrated, just to name a few. I don't know about you, but, I see nothing good associated with the words: jealous, vengeful, inferior and frustrated. These words describe negative energy. If your making disparaging comments about others, your choosing to think in a negative mindset. You don't have to think negatively about another person, let alone say something negative about someone. Your thoughts and words are yours and yours alone. Negative thinking produces negative results; plain and simple! The more negative you think, the more negative you become.
Age old wisdom tells us, "If you can't say anything good about somebody don't say anything at all." Practicing this wisdom will help prevent you from engaging in backstabbing. Remember that since a backstabber talks behind someones back, the person being talked about is unaware of it. Hence, they're actually unaffected by the backstabbers negativity. The backstabber, however, is affected. When a backstabber is tearing someone else apart, he/she is actually tearing himself/herself apart by breeding more negativity in the form jealousy, vengeance, feelings of inferiority and frustration.
No good comes from talking behind someones back. The following is the best advice I have ever heard when it comes to preventing backstabbing: "If your going to talk about somebody, speak as if they are present in the conversation."
If you're in the habit of backstabbing, remember the knife's greatest damage is not inflicted upon the intended subject; the knife greatest damage is inflicted upon you as it perpetuates negative energy and weakens your character.
Today, eliminate the negativity in your life and seek to look for the good in all people and things. For if you do, you'll soon find out that you feel better about yourself, others and the world you live in.
It's your life; live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD
In Backstabbers, the lyrics state:
What they do!
They smile in your face
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
In Smiling Faces Sometimes, the lyrics state:
Smiling faces, sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
The songs tell us of the reality of backstabbing. Backstabbers make it a point to satisfy their ego at the expense of others. Outwardly, they may appear friendly. However, because of a strong need to satisfy their ego, they go out of their way to satisfy their needs at the expense of others.
How about you? Are you guilty of being a backstabber? Do you talk about others behind their back? If you do, your doing more harm to yourself than the person your talking about. Think about the reasons that people talk negatively about others: they're jealous, they're vengeful, they feel inferior or they're frustrated, just to name a few. I don't know about you, but, I see nothing good associated with the words: jealous, vengeful, inferior and frustrated. These words describe negative energy. If your making disparaging comments about others, your choosing to think in a negative mindset. You don't have to think negatively about another person, let alone say something negative about someone. Your thoughts and words are yours and yours alone. Negative thinking produces negative results; plain and simple! The more negative you think, the more negative you become.
Age old wisdom tells us, "If you can't say anything good about somebody don't say anything at all." Practicing this wisdom will help prevent you from engaging in backstabbing. Remember that since a backstabber talks behind someones back, the person being talked about is unaware of it. Hence, they're actually unaffected by the backstabbers negativity. The backstabber, however, is affected. When a backstabber is tearing someone else apart, he/she is actually tearing himself/herself apart by breeding more negativity in the form jealousy, vengeance, feelings of inferiority and frustration.
No good comes from talking behind someones back. The following is the best advice I have ever heard when it comes to preventing backstabbing: "If your going to talk about somebody, speak as if they are present in the conversation."
If you're in the habit of backstabbing, remember the knife's greatest damage is not inflicted upon the intended subject; the knife greatest damage is inflicted upon you as it perpetuates negative energy and weakens your character.
Today, eliminate the negativity in your life and seek to look for the good in all people and things. For if you do, you'll soon find out that you feel better about yourself, others and the world you live in.
It's your life; live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Independence Day: Let Freedom Ring!
"Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves."
- Friedrich~Nietzsche
It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD
- Friedrich~Nietzsche
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are
created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable
Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
-- The Declaration of Independence
***
On July 4, 1776, the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence. 56 delegates from the 13 colonies boldly declared that the United Colonies had the right to be free and independent of British rule.
There it is! Right there in the Declaration of Independence: the right to pursue happiness. If we have an unalienable right to pursue happiness, why is it that we see so many unhappy people? People are unhappy because they don’t exercise their right. Far too many people rely on people and events/circumstances to make them happy. The delegates at the Continental Congress knew that under British rule, their colonies would never be free to grow and prosper. They knew they would never be able exercise a right to pursue happiness being governed by the British. You, like the colonists, will not be able to pursue happiness if you’re being controlled; controlled by people, events/circumstance, and/or habits.
If you allow other people to control you, you’ll never experience happiness. Why? In order to pursue happiness you have to be free from control. When you rely on others to make you happy, you’re giving up control. Since you have no control over the thoughts, feelings, and behavior of others, you’re happiness is at the whim of another. You’re giving up your inalienable right to pursue happiness because you’re happiness is contingent upon something you have no control over. Never give up your right to pursue happiness by relying on someone else to make you happy. Happiness is a state of mind; your mind, not someone else’s.
Never allow events/circumstances to control your happiness; especially in situations where you have no control over the outcome. In the pursuit of happiness one needs to understand that it’s not what happens to you that counts; it’s how you respond to what happens that counts. Happy people look for the good in every event/circumstance, no matter how bleak the event/circumstance may appear to be. In every negative event, there’s a positive lesson(s); one just needs to be patient and search for the lesson(s). Often times, a negative event is the catalyst for opportunity and personal growth.
We see people imprisoned with self-destructing habits; habits that paralyze one's pursuit of happiness. Generally, these habits are immediate, self-gratifying behaviors that produce little or no personal or social benefit. In some cases, a habit can become so engrained that the habit becomes the focus of control in a person’s life. The habit, not the person, is in control. You can’t enjoy happiness when you’ve given up your control. If you have a self-destructive habit, quit it now! If you need professional help, seek it. A habit is learned behavior. Since a habit is learned, it can be unlearned.
On July 4th when America celebrates her Independence from British Rule, remember our inalienable rights: Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness. The colonist made a bold move in adopting the Declaration of Independence. They were willing to put their lives on the line for freedom sake and a better way of life.
Today is the day to envision a better, happier way of life. I encourage you to adopt your own declaration of independence. Make a bold proclamation that you will pursue your own happiness; happiness free from the governance of other people, events/circumstances and habits. Just as our forefathers declared there freedom; now is the time to declare yours.
Let Freedom Ring!-- The Declaration of Independence
***
On July 4, 1776, the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence. 56 delegates from the 13 colonies boldly declared that the United Colonies had the right to be free and independent of British rule.
There it is! Right there in the Declaration of Independence: the right to pursue happiness. If we have an unalienable right to pursue happiness, why is it that we see so many unhappy people? People are unhappy because they don’t exercise their right. Far too many people rely on people and events/circumstances to make them happy. The delegates at the Continental Congress knew that under British rule, their colonies would never be free to grow and prosper. They knew they would never be able exercise a right to pursue happiness being governed by the British. You, like the colonists, will not be able to pursue happiness if you’re being controlled; controlled by people, events/circumstance, and/or habits.
If you allow other people to control you, you’ll never experience happiness. Why? In order to pursue happiness you have to be free from control. When you rely on others to make you happy, you’re giving up control. Since you have no control over the thoughts, feelings, and behavior of others, you’re happiness is at the whim of another. You’re giving up your inalienable right to pursue happiness because you’re happiness is contingent upon something you have no control over. Never give up your right to pursue happiness by relying on someone else to make you happy. Happiness is a state of mind; your mind, not someone else’s.
Never allow events/circumstances to control your happiness; especially in situations where you have no control over the outcome. In the pursuit of happiness one needs to understand that it’s not what happens to you that counts; it’s how you respond to what happens that counts. Happy people look for the good in every event/circumstance, no matter how bleak the event/circumstance may appear to be. In every negative event, there’s a positive lesson(s); one just needs to be patient and search for the lesson(s). Often times, a negative event is the catalyst for opportunity and personal growth.
We see people imprisoned with self-destructing habits; habits that paralyze one's pursuit of happiness. Generally, these habits are immediate, self-gratifying behaviors that produce little or no personal or social benefit. In some cases, a habit can become so engrained that the habit becomes the focus of control in a person’s life. The habit, not the person, is in control. You can’t enjoy happiness when you’ve given up your control. If you have a self-destructive habit, quit it now! If you need professional help, seek it. A habit is learned behavior. Since a habit is learned, it can be unlearned.
On July 4th when America celebrates her Independence from British Rule, remember our inalienable rights: Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness. The colonist made a bold move in adopting the Declaration of Independence. They were willing to put their lives on the line for freedom sake and a better way of life.
Today is the day to envision a better, happier way of life. I encourage you to adopt your own declaration of independence. Make a bold proclamation that you will pursue your own happiness; happiness free from the governance of other people, events/circumstances and habits. Just as our forefathers declared there freedom; now is the time to declare yours.
It's your life: live it, love it & celebrate it!
MJD
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
It's All the Little Things
“The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
—William James
Psychologist, Abraham Maslow developed the theory of a hierarchy on needs in 1943. Being interested exemplary behavior, Maslow choose to study well-adjusted subjects rather than subjects with psychological disorders. Maslow’s theory consists of five levels of need: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem and self-actualization. His theory is often depicted as a pyramidal structure. The higher level needs, esteem and self-actualization are dependent upon the lower level needs (physiological, safety and love/belonging) being met. Because of the hierarchal dependency, Maslow believes that most adults never fully reach the self-actualization level. According to Maslow, self-actualization takes place when a person reaches their full potential. Since most adults never become fully self-actualized, they spend a significant amount of their life attempting to satisfy the needs in the level below self-actualization; the level of esteem.
According to Maslow, the need of esteem is met when people have self-respect, self-esteem, respect from others and recognition from others. Seeking to fulfill this need, a person will engage in behaviors and activities where they feel they can make a contribution, and in return, they will receive acceptance and recognition. The acceptance and recognition contributes to higher levels of self-respect and self-esteem. The more self-esteem and self-respect as person has, the more likely the person will engage in behaviors that lead to more acceptance and recognition. Maslow once said, “Recognition is a need we all crave, and there are no exceptions."
To illustrate the importance of recognition, imagine yourself as a baseball player: You’re at the plate with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning with the bases loaded and your team is behind by three runs. The first pitch is delivered; you swing and make solid contact. The ball flies through the air and over the fence for a home run. You’ve just hit a walk-off homerun. As you round the bases, there is no cheering, no applauding, no nothing! When you reach home plate, you're not surrounded by your teammates, no one has run out to greet you. Your teammates seem to attending to their own needs. You think... what happened? Did I do something wrong? Something inside you tells you something isn’t right.
All too often, were too busy with our own lives or too preoccupied with our own needs that we fail to recognize others who are deserving of recognition. I’m not necessarily talking about major milestones events and achievements, for those occasions get recognized in their own right. I’m talking about the little things that people do or say for us. I’m talking about the things we take for granted. It’s the little things that get recognized that end up meaning the most. Why? People tend to expect recognition for the big things, and not the little things. Hence, recognizing little things are an unexpected gift from the heart.
Make it a point today and everyday to recognize family, friends and coworkers for all the little things that they do. Don’t wait for someone to hit the "big" homerun before you recognize them; for homeruns come few and far between. Baseball games are rarely won by the "big" homerun. Rather, its the single base hits that wins games; one single at a time. Remember, in the long run, its the little things that really count!
It's your life; live it, love it & celebrate it!
—William James
Psychologist, Abraham Maslow developed the theory of a hierarchy on needs in 1943. Being interested exemplary behavior, Maslow choose to study well-adjusted subjects rather than subjects with psychological disorders. Maslow’s theory consists of five levels of need: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem and self-actualization. His theory is often depicted as a pyramidal structure. The higher level needs, esteem and self-actualization are dependent upon the lower level needs (physiological, safety and love/belonging) being met. Because of the hierarchal dependency, Maslow believes that most adults never fully reach the self-actualization level. According to Maslow, self-actualization takes place when a person reaches their full potential. Since most adults never become fully self-actualized, they spend a significant amount of their life attempting to satisfy the needs in the level below self-actualization; the level of esteem.
According to Maslow, the need of esteem is met when people have self-respect, self-esteem, respect from others and recognition from others. Seeking to fulfill this need, a person will engage in behaviors and activities where they feel they can make a contribution, and in return, they will receive acceptance and recognition. The acceptance and recognition contributes to higher levels of self-respect and self-esteem. The more self-esteem and self-respect as person has, the more likely the person will engage in behaviors that lead to more acceptance and recognition. Maslow once said, “Recognition is a need we all crave, and there are no exceptions."
To illustrate the importance of recognition, imagine yourself as a baseball player: You’re at the plate with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning with the bases loaded and your team is behind by three runs. The first pitch is delivered; you swing and make solid contact. The ball flies through the air and over the fence for a home run. You’ve just hit a walk-off homerun. As you round the bases, there is no cheering, no applauding, no nothing! When you reach home plate, you're not surrounded by your teammates, no one has run out to greet you. Your teammates seem to attending to their own needs. You think... what happened? Did I do something wrong? Something inside you tells you something isn’t right.
All too often, were too busy with our own lives or too preoccupied with our own needs that we fail to recognize others who are deserving of recognition. I’m not necessarily talking about major milestones events and achievements, for those occasions get recognized in their own right. I’m talking about the little things that people do or say for us. I’m talking about the things we take for granted. It’s the little things that get recognized that end up meaning the most. Why? People tend to expect recognition for the big things, and not the little things. Hence, recognizing little things are an unexpected gift from the heart.
Make it a point today and everyday to recognize family, friends and coworkers for all the little things that they do. Don’t wait for someone to hit the "big" homerun before you recognize them; for homeruns come few and far between. Baseball games are rarely won by the "big" homerun. Rather, its the single base hits that wins games; one single at a time. Remember, in the long run, its the little things that really count!
It's your life; live it, love it & celebrate it!
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